


Don't Leave Me

by Lilsi



Category: The Bill
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 03:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 46,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1494181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsi/pseuds/Lilsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke and Kerry come back from their honeymoon. Luke tries to deal with the realisation that he loves Craig. Can he fix his mistakes will he leave Kerry or will he leave Craig.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was once posted at Craiggilmore.co.uk a fan site no longer active, so to preserve this story and others, I am importing them to AO3. I did not want the loss of such a large amount of amazing and wonderful fanfiction, it would be such a waste to fans of Craig Gilmore and Luke Ashton to not have the opportunity to enjoy these stories as i have. Since the site is no longer active i have been unable to contact the creators but if you happen to be them under a new pen name and want the fiction to be removed please send me a note!
> 
> Story written by - Ashleigh

**CHAPTER 1**

 

Craig awoke from a wonderful night’s sleep; the best night’s sleep in fact for months. It was 5 am and he wasn’t due into work for another hour so he thought to himself that another ten minutes laying there wouldn’t hurt. He closed his eyes and remembered the dream he had just awoken from, it was blissful and for the first time in months he felt relaxed. Too relaxed, as he fell back to sleep, only to be rudely awoken by his mobile. He sluggishly opened his eyes to allocate the damn thing, he reached out and grabbed it only to hear Gina bellowing down the phone:  
“Craig Gilmore, get your backside to the station now! I don’t know what your game is, I know Luke and…”  
Craig, angry at having such a wonderful dream ruined, interrupted “Gina, what is your problem I’ll be in at 6 am, now if you don’t mind…”  
“That’s strange Craig, seeing as it is now 6.30 and you are nowhere to be seen,” she said sarcastically, trying to hide the fact she was really in a panic. She thought he had done something in the realisation Luke and Kerry came back from their honeymoon today. “I will expect you in half an hour Sergeant Gilmore, properly attired I hope”  
“Yes, certainly ma’am.”   Getting out of bed, he pulled the covers straight and headed for the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, shaved and started to get dressed.  
As he drove to the station he thought about what Gina had said, Luke and Kerry were back today. His stomach began to tingle with butterflies, how was he going to face them after what had happened. Most of all how could he face Luke.  The last thing Craig said to him was that he was leaving and they wouldn’t see each other again. Now Luke would think he’d deliberately stayed to cause trouble.  
As he arrived at the station he promised himself not to let the inner anguish show, he had to become Sergeant Craig Gilmore, the Sergeant nobody particularly liked, the Sergeant who didn’t take any crap from his officers, particularly PC Luke Ashton. His self-esteem began to increase and he felt like a part of his old self had returned.  
“You can get through this Craig, you can and you will.” he muttered to himself as he approached the station.  
At seven fifteen am Craig arrived/  He knew Luke and Kerry were already there as he saw their car in the car park. He took a deep breath and proceeded to the briefing room folder under one arm, straightened his tie he walked into the room.  
“Good morning Sergeant Gilmore, decided to join us?” Gina sarcastically announced.  
“Morning Sarge, late night was it?” Tony quizzically asked.  
Swallowing hard, Craig thought the only response would be to joke back “Not at all, simply enjoying a good…dream.”  Proudly he took his place at the front and stared at his file. He could sense Luke was staring at him in fear and bewilderment.

 

Luke lent over to Tony “What’s he still doing here, thought the sarge was leaving?”

“Inspector Gold persuaded him to stay apparently” Tony replied  
“If I may begin” Craig began.  He could feel the strength in him building, partly due to the fact he hadn’t dare look at Luke yet.  
“Firstly I would like to welcome back the newly weds, Kerry and Luke Ashton” Craig announced with a smile.  
“Thank you sarge,” replied Kerry.   Luke just sat there silent, not daring to speak.  As Gina was watching him like a hawk, he dutifully smiled and accepted the comments made by the others but always looked back to Gina and most of all Craig. He couldn’t believe he had just said that.  First of all he was still shocked at him being there but secondly Craig had accepted they were married.  
Craig began to issue the days orders. Not once could he look in the direction of Luke.  
As they were leaving the room Craig noticed Luke stalling for time. Craig stared at the floor and didn’t know whether to stay or to run. His heart said stay, listen to him, but his mind ordered him to leave the room, as Luke’s words would only be harsh and hurtful. When he looked up there was only Luke and himself in the room. Craig still avoiding eye contact confidently walked towards the door.  
“Sarge…” Luke said hesitantly  
“Not know Luke, I’m busy…maybe later,” and Craig marched away  
“Don’t even think about it boy!” Gina exclaimed from around the corner  
Luke just looked at her with extreme guilt. “I just… wanted a… word with the sarge” he stammered  
“I think you two have done quite enough talking, thank you very much, don’t you,”  she said in a very accusing way. “Now if I were you I’d forget what you were about to say to your sergeant and go help your WIFE in CAD” The emphasis on wife made Luke feel very uncomfortable.  It was the first time someone had called Kerry his wife. but it was more uncomfortable her speaking about Craig.  
Craig returned to his office a very injured man, his heart was racing he closed the door and leant against it hugging his file. All he could hear was Luke’s voice ringing in his ears. He banged the back of his head against the door and mumbled to himself ‘you can do this, you can’. He hung his head in shame at how pathetic he felt, reasoning with himself that it would be ok now that Luke had married and that Luke’s ‘curiosity’ had gone away. Which made him feel worse as he went through the emotions of feeling used and betrayed.  
He sat down at his desk and proceeded to finish his mountain of paperwork.  
At lunch Craig decided that he would stay in his office, grab a quick coffee and return to the paperwork. It was the only way he could think of to avoid seeing them together. He walked down the corridor and bumped into Adam.  “Afternoon Sir”  
“Ah, Craig, just the person I was looking for”  
“How can I be of help sir,” Craig looked him straight in the eye, hoping that for some unknown reason he was being sent out of the station to do undercover work. Anything to get him away.  
“Have you finished the crime figures I asked you to do?”  
“Yes sir, they are on my desk…would you like me to get them for you?”  
“If you wouldn’t mind”  
As they both headed towards Craig’s office he could hear Luke and Kerry laughing, they were coming towards them. Craig swiftly moved into his office before he was able to see them together.  
“Ah, the Ashtons.  Welcome back,” Adam said, joyfully  
“Thank you, sir,” They both said. Luke was level with Craig’s open door and stared at the sergeant stood behind the desk, the sergeant that, whenever he looked at him, Luke could feel his heart pound.  
“Here they are Sir” Craig passed the files to Adam and went back into his office.  With the Super outside he dare not close the door in fear of being rude so he sat at his desk, looking at the files, head down, and tried not to listen to Kerry babble on about what a wonderful time they had on holiday.  
Luke stood in the doorway trying not to look at Craig, but gave in and said the only thing he dare say as Kerry was so close “You look busy sarge, you look like you could use a break.”  He attempted to sound friendly, but his guilty face said it all.  
“I’m no busier than usual, but thank you for your concern.” Luke looked hurt by the official way Craig had replied, and it hurt Craig to reply in such a straight-laced manner, but it was the only way he was going to survive this thing.  
Craig hadn’t realised the time until Kerry came into his office to ask if he was going for a drink, as it was the end of the shift.  
“No thank you, I’m rather tired after today. If you don’t mind I’ll pass. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Hearing her voice made him think of Luke, which hurt. They both loved Luke but Luke only loved one of them back – his wife.  
“Are you ok Craig?”   She walked in and part-closed the door. “You just seem a bit…a bit… down, I suppose.”  Craig looked at her.  She had the man he loved and for that he should hate her, but when he looked at her he couldn’t.  
“Need a holiday I think,” he said shyly, hating lying to her but what else could he say.

“Don’t we all,” Gina burst in. “But before that I need a stiff drink, come on Kerry leave Sergeant fairy here to his work. We are going to the pub.”   With that, she ushered Kerry out of the door and winked at Craig. For once he was glad of Gina’s interfering. As she was closing the door she peeked her head back in the room and whispered, “Go home, Craig.” With that she closed the door.  
When the noise in the corridor died down, he switched of the computer, put the files away, and went to change. As he stood in the locker room all he could think of was getting home and lying on the sofa with a glass of red wine. That was until Luke walked in.  
“Sarge,” Luke said, nodding in politeness, trying to hide his surprise and embarrassment.  Craig simply nodded and looked away.  He refused to let the urge to talk to Luke pass; he pulled his jumper on, closed his locker door and confidently said “Goodnight Luke.”  
“But…” is all Luke could say before Craig had disappeared out of the room. Luke sat for a moment, a rush of conflicting emotion passed through him, he didn’t know whether to cry at the fact Craig had distanced himself or jump for joy because his cover wasn’t blown. He couldn’t laugh.  The pain had engrossed him.  Craig didn’t want him.  
Throughout the week Craig kept himself busy avoiding contact with either Luke or Kerry, he even attempted to avoid Gina in fear of a lecture. All he wanted was to go to work, and finish the day without any conflicts with any of them. It was quite an easy week for avoiding chatter as Ron Gregory was playing heavily on their minds.  
On Friday, Craig woke in rather a good mood; looking in the mirror he congratulated himself on controlling his emotions for what could have been a painful week. When he arrived in the briefing room the usual chatter was taking place.  
“Good morning, now today…”  
“Excuse me Sergeant Gilmore, but it has escaped your notice but we are an officer down,” Gina interrupted quite cautiously. Her face told Craig straight away who the missing officer was. He tried to take no notice and scanned the room and saw a teary-eyed Kerry sat there.  
“Where is PC Ashton?” He did and didn’t want to know, the look on Kerry’s face suggested they had had a fall out and Craig didn’t want to bear the brunt of it, not this time.  
“Kerry where is Luke? Is he ill?”  
“He’s in the gym sarge,” she said fighting back the tears. Craig was confused.  Newly weds arguing already. Anger began to build up in Craig; he knew this would be left to him to sort out.  
“WHAT?” he loudly asked, breathing very deeply to avoid being too annoyed. “I shall deal with him later” Craig said, more annoyed at Luke’s attitude rather than him not been there to report. How could Luke do this, why did he have to cause a scene, and why was it him that had to reprimand him for not being there. He knew he had to talk to Luke at some point - it was just that he wasn’t ready for that yet.  
He set the others to work then marched towards the gym, Gina attempted to argue that she should go but gave in when she saw the angry look on Craig’s face. Luke wasn’t there.  
“What is he playing at?” he muttered to himself.  
In a fit of annoyance in stormed towards the changing rooms, threw open the door. As the door opened Luke was sat on the bench looking at the floor, with a rather nervous and hurt expression. He slowly lifted his head and stared at Craig. Luke was sat with just a white towel around his waist.  Oh, how Craig adored that sight, but frustration overpowered his desire.  
“You found me then?” Luke asked, cockily, as he looked away from Craig in a disgusted manner.  
All week Craig had avoided even eye contact with Luke, it helped the pain to not see him. And in a temper tantrum that Kerry somehow caused, Luke has forced Craig’s attention. But still Luke looked at him as if it were his entire fault they had argued, that it was his fault he was sat sulking in the locker room. Craig stood tall in the doorway.  He looked down the corridor not daring to look at Luke sat there. He began to feel the anger reddening his face.  
“I shouldn’t have to look for you, Luke! You should have been in the briefing room with the others.”  He was now bellowing this towards Luke, but still he couldn’t make eye contact.  
“Why… so that you can make eyes at me?”   Luke smirked as he said it, certainly not anticipating the anger that had brewed inside Craig.  
“My office PC Ashton now, properly attired, please.”   With that Craig walked away leaving Luke alone. Craig’s voice was very cold and harsh; Luke was a little unsettled about this.  
As he got dressed, the thought of going to Gilmore’s office began to excite him. This was the first time since the hotel that they had been alone. To his own amazement this cheered him up and he rushed to the sergeants office.  
The door was open and he walked in uninvited. Craig was on the phone and looked startled as Luke walked in. It was obvious to Luke that it was a personal call because of the way Craig blushed slightly.  
“Right I shall see you tonight at my place…are you staying? Ok see you then” Craig said, trying to lower his voice so Luke didn’t hear. Luke stood at the door trying not to show Craig that he was curious about the mystery caller.  
Craig replaced the receiver, and began to issue a warning to Luke. “When you are on duty, PC Ashton I would like you to remember that I am your sergeant, your superior. I do not take kindly to my officers turning up when they please…”  
“But…” Luke’s feeble attempt to interrupt  
“And I would kindly remind you that when I am speaking not to interrupt. Do you wish to be on report on your first week back?”  
“No sarge,” Luke tutted as he answered  
“You are a police officer, Luke Ashton, try growing up and behaving like one. Whatever problems you and your wife…” Craig faltered as that hurt him to say that  “... have at home, do not bring them with you. Do you understand?”   Luke was dumbstruck. Craig was the only person Luke never expected to call Kerry his wife, and it wounded him. He began to feel a strange pain creep through his body. He thought back to the phone call and the happy way Craig was speaking to that person. Luke assumed it had to be a new boyfriend and that Craig had replaced his feelings for Luke in a matter of days.  
“Do you understand?” Craig impatiently asked  
“Yes Sergeant Gilmore. But if I could explain.” His eyes were pleading with Craig.  
“Yes, PC Ashton you can, I’m all ears.” Gina said sarcastically and sat down on the edge of Gilmore’s desk anticipating that this would be one of Luke and Craig’s “dangerous” talks.  
Craig just stared at Gina, hating her for interfering but loving her for saving him the heartache he would have probably suffered. They both looked at Luke as if he were a child about to perform some hideous dance.  
“I was just…I…” he dare not say what he initially wanted to say as Gina was there, and he was frightened that Craig didn’t want to hear it anymore.  
“Yes Luke, I don’t have all day you know,” Gina said as she tapped her watch to indicate the time.  
“Doesn’t matter ma’am.”   His heart felt strange - hurt, angry but most of all jealous – Craig had someone else.  
Luke walked out of the office looking like a wounded rabbit. He ran to the gents. Locked in a cubicle he smothered his mouth with his sleeve to hide the noise as he sobbed. For the first time since ‘the kiss’ he admitted to himself he liked Craig, he wanted Craig and no man was going to take his place in Craig’s affections.

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 2**

Luke, feeling very deflated after what seemed a very long shift, went to a quiet pub to drown his sorrows. As he finished his fourth pint followed by a whisky chaser he began to think of Kerry; how upset she will be feeling, how alone she would be and for what? His mind wandered to Craig and how this mess would never have happened if he hadn’t met Sergeant Gilmore. Wonderful images filled his mind; for a brief second he closed his eyes and imagined being with Craig. Then the harsh reality hit him hard like someone had just punched him hard in the chest. Luke hated feeling so neglected, hated feeling so confused. He stared hard at his wedding ring. This small piece of gold had bound him to a woman he wasn’t in love with, but she would be devastated if he broke it off; after all they had only been married three weeks. He took a deep breath and left the pub.  He knew what he had to do.  Taking a long walk home to sober up, his mind drifted back to Craig. He couldn’t take his mind of that sensuous kiss, how much it had awoken senses in him he never knew existed.  
When he returned to the flat Kerry was asleep on the sofa wrapped in a blanket.  Luke knelt before her and whispered “Kerry I’m home. Wake up Kerry.” As she opened her eyes it was obvious to Luke she had been crying.  
“I missed you,” she said, lifting her head and laying her hand on his cheek.  
“Let's not argue anymore,” he said, trying to convince himself it wasn’t his fault they constantly argued.  
“Where did you go after work?" she asked, yawning with exhaustion from crying. “What did Craig…”  
“He’s a prat, just forget him. I went to the pub, I had to be on my own. I’ve been such an idiot I’m sorry.”   He attempted to say this with genuine feeling but in his heart he knew what he wanted.  
“Let’s go to bed,” she said kissing him passionately taking his hand as she stood up, leading the way to the bedroom.  
They had very intense sex, but all Luke could think about was Craig. He hated looking up and seeing Kerry enjoying herself rather than seeing Craig’s dark eyes staring lovingly at him. Luke closed his eyes and imagined being in the embrace of Craig, his imagination ran away with him picturing the most erotic fantasies, images of Craig naked possessed his mind.  Just as he was reaching orgasm, he came to the realisation who he was really with, just at the point where he wanted to call Craig’s name.  
“Babe, that was fantastic,” Kerry panted as she lay by the side of him.   “You weren’t too tense this time…” she said as she put her head on his chest, and could feel his heart racing.  
“I thought you weren’t going to mention that again” he said, sulkily turning his back on her.  
“I’m sorry, hold me please.”  She was kissing his cheek as he turned back to her.  After sex Luke was usually knackered and went straight to sleep but tonight he couldn’t. His mind kept retracing the erotic thoughts of Craig. Then Luke would look at Kerry sleeping and guilt filled his heart; he couldn’t hurt her, she didn’t deserve that. She was so beautiful lying there, any man’s dream, but she didn’t excite Luke the way Craig did. In fact nobody ever had had that effect on Luke. His mind wandered back to the night of his stag do, remembering how alive he felt at Craig’s touch and the way his knees went weak when Craig’s lips were passionately kissing him.

He looked at Kerry again and thought to himself  ‘is this the way it’s going to be, I have to imagine sex with Craig to enjoy myself?'  Again guilt filled his mind, not because of what he had done to Kerry, but what he was doing to himself and Craig. But most of all the fact he was fantasising about sex with another man when he was married to Kerry.  
“What have I done?” he whispered to himself.  
It was impossible to sleep; thoughts of Craig with another man invaded his head and filled him with such jealousy he got up out of bed, put his jeans and t-shirt on and left Kerry fast asleep. He stood at the kitchen sink looking out of the window into the dark trying to convince himself that he wasn’t jealous. But it wouldn’t go away, he had to talk to Craig and in the morning might be too late. So he picked up his trainers and quietly left the flat. As he ran to the car he hopped trying to get his trainers on.  
Nervously he knocked on the door at Craig’s house. He shivered ridiculously.  In a fit of jealousy he didn’t realise he was only wearing his jeans and a t-shirt, and it was freezing.  What was Craig going to think. With no response from his knock he peered through a window, no lights were on so he knocked again for longer and louder this time. The desperation to speak with Craig had grown immensely. He saw a light appear through the frosted glass of the door.  Luke was extremely nervous now, he placed his arms across his chest trying to keep himself warm,  he stepped from one foot to the other as the dark figure from inside approached the door. The door clicked as it was unlocked.  Cautiously it opened.  
“Luke?  What the hell are you doing here?” Craig said as he rubbed his tired eyes.  
“I…erm… I was passing,” Luke said feebly.  He thought to himself how pathetic he must have sounded, enforced by the fact Craig was looking at him disapprovingly. Craig stood holding the door wearing a grey t-shirt and tight boxers.  
“It’s three o’clock in the morning Luke.  You don’t call to someone’s…your sergeant's house at this time and announce you're just passing.”   His voice was croaky from being awoken and his eyes slightly closed when he finished speaking as if he could just fall asleep again. But to Luke this was even sexier.  
“Come in, you look frozen. And it isn’t doing me any good either. Where is your coat? And again why are you here because you certainly weren’t passing.”  Craig said this in his official Sergeant Gilmore manner and it made Luke smile.  
Luke just stood in the hall as Craig went upstairs.  He heard Craig’s muffled voice say, “It’s ok.  Go back to bed. It’s only someone from work”. This shallow statement annoyed Luke.  He breathed heavily through his nose and went into the lounge. Two used wine glasses had been left on the coffee table.  Rage filled him.   ‘It’s only someone from work,’ he repeated to himself.  Two weeks ago I was the love of his life, but now replaced by someone he hardly knows. Luke closed his eyes and tried to banish the thought Carl may have fought his way back into Craig’s affections.  
A voice came from behind him. “Put this on.”  Craig passed him a jumper and picked up the glasses from the coffee table and went into the kitchen. “Do you want a hot drink?” Craig said, as he walked back into the lounge. He perched on the arm of the chair.  
“No.” Luke said firmly.  He looked away from Craig in disgust, which Craig noted.  Luke put the jumper down on the sofa in defiance and stood shivering.  He knew he was behaving like a spoilt brat.  
“So, you don’t want a drink; you obviously don’t want a jumper,” Craig nodded in the direction of the jumper. “What do you want Luke? Does Kerry know you are here?”

 

Luke just exploded  “Leave her out of this!”  
“Ssssh” Craig stood up and closed the lounge door, annoying Luke even more. Craig glared at Luke trying to figure out why he was here. In his ‘I’m not messing about now’ tone he said “What are you doing here, Luke. I’m not interested in any marital sob stories, not my thing some how.  I certainly don’t want an argument.  I do however, want an explanation and if I'm not going to get one, I would like you to leave so that I can go back to bed.”   Craig was utterly confused as to why Luke was here, but relieved because he thought they would never speak again. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, waiting for Luke to unleash more hatred towards him.  
“You have someone here, don’t you?” Luke couldn’t help himself, he was too angry and hurt to hold back.

 

“What?” Craig opened his eyes in surprise.

 

“Who is he?” Luke bellowed at him.

 

Before Craig could answer, footsteps began to descend the stairs. Luke clenched his fists; he was fighting the emotion to hit the bastard when he walked in. Craig nervously swallowed as he could see the anger in Luke’s face but couldn’t understand him, so was frozen to the spot.  
The door opened slowly.     “Is everything ok?” said a soft voice.  Luke just put his head down feeling beyond ridiculous. He swallowed hard and tried not to show his embarrassment.  
“Luke, this is my sister, Sophie.  Sophie, this is Luke.”  She threw a knowing smile towards Craig and went to shake Luke’s hand.  Luke looked up at her; she looked like Craig in some ways. She was very attractive.  
“Pleased to meet you Luke, finally.”  Sophie smiled at an embarrassed Craig.  
“I shall leave you two to talk, I’m grouchy when I don’t get enough sleep.”   Looking at Luke she cheekily added, “in the spare room.”  She winked and left the room. 

 

Luke felt even more embarrassed as he knew she’d heard the conversation.  Luke looked at a silent Craig and for a few minutes neither of them spoke. The silence became too unbearable for Luke; he had to say something.  
“I’m sorry Craig, I should never…”  
“Why did you then?” Craig eagerly interrupted.  Luke picked up the jumper and pulled it over his head, it smelt of Craig, he’d obviously been wearing it that day.  
“We need to talk,” Luke nervously replied.   “You were right I shouldn’t have married Kerry.”

 

A sudden bolt of relief and anguish ran through Craig, his knotted stomach forcing him to sit down.  “Why are you telling me this Luke?”  A lump appeared in Craig’s throat, why did Luke punish him like this, couldn’t he see the pain he’d already inflicted on him. Craig fought hard against the tears; he wasn’t about to lose all self-respect.  “I’m not interested, I can’t do this anymore.”   Craig stood up and went back into the kitchen to try and compose himself.  Luke followed him and stood in the doorway, his brown eyes glazed with tears.  Both men were on the verge of crying but dare not show it so they stood in silence.

 

Luke swallowed hard as the silence was too much to bear.  “Kerry’s a dream,” he said with his head down.  He knew this would hurt Craig but he had to explain. “She’s a woman I never thought would look at me twice.  Six months ago I’d have moved heaven and earth just to get a woman like her to notice me.”  Luke began to walk towards Craig, who was stood gripping the work surface as if his life depended on it.  Craig stood staring out of the window into darkness.  Luke had to stop at the dining table and hold onto a chair, his legs began to feel too weak to proceed.  
“I can’t even look at her now, Craig, not without thinking of you. It’s not fair on her.”  He paused as Craig slowly turned around and looked at Luke straight in the eye.  
“And you think I deserve this?” Craig said. It was all he could say without being overcome by the tears he fought hard against.  
“No, but…” Luke tried to explain before being interrupted.  
“Do you realise what you have done, Luke?” Craig said, turning back to face the window. 

 

This time Luke put his head down and looked at his feet.  “Before I came here, Kerry and I … well … we ...” he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “We had sex ...”  

 

Before he got the chance to finish what he was going to say, Craig lurched towards him, took him by the arm and was yelling “GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”   Craig’s face was streaming with tears as he hurled Luke out of the door.  “Leave me alone. Go back to your dream wife.”   Craig said this in such a hateful way, that Luke felt as though someone had just stabbed him in the heart. Craig slammed the door in Luke’s face and sat at the foot of the stairs sobbing. He could no longer control the wave of emotion that had built up inside, he had to let it out.  
Warm hands went around his neck, pulling him close.   Sophie said in a soft tone “What the hell just happened?”  She looked up and saw Luke’s dark figure on the other side of the frosted glass door. Craig was sobbing so uncontrollably that he couldn’t speak, he could barely breath.  
“Please, Craig,” she said, kissing the top of his head, wanting to cry herself as she could see the pain he was in, and so wanted to take it away from him.  
“I’m…fine,” he snuffled, “I’m going…up to bed”.  He walked up the stairs with his hand to his eyes and the other arm sliding along the wall guiding him up the stairs. Sophie could see that he was still crying from the jerking movements of his shoulders. Sophie looked back at the door.  Luke was still there.  She didn’t know whether to strangle him or hug him as both men were obviously distressed, but why she asked herself.  She needed to know what had happened.  Never had she seen Craig so upset, in fact never had she seen Craig show as much emotion. She knew Craig wouldn’t tell her, so Luke was her only option.  
Quietly, she opened the door, and before Luke had chance to say anything she put her finger to her mouth to signal him to be silent.  Sophie grabbed a coat from the rack and went outside.  Luke looked like a frightened child.  “How did you get here?” she whispered

 

 “My car, it’s over there.”  Luke pointed to it.  
“Come on, we will have to talk in there.” Sophie stepped forward.  Luke looked at her confused. “Come on” she repeated.

 

Luke’s tear-streaked face told her he felt as badly as Craig did, and rather than hate Luke for upsetting her brother she couldn’t feel anything but sorry for Luke. She wanted to help, but most of all needed to understand the situation for Craig’s sake. When they were inside the car, she turned to Luke.   “What did you say to him? I’ve never seen Craig so out of control of his emotions.  I know who you are, he’s told me that much, but why are you both so upset with each other?”   She looked towards Luke with a very concerned but confused expression.  
“It’s complicated. I need to see Craig. I have to explain.”   Luke was fidgeting desperately.  
“He couldn’t speak to you even if he wanted to.  I don’t know how, but you have broken my brother’s heart Mr Ashton.  Don’t you think he deserves to be left alone?”  Her tone was soft, but Luke could sense she disliked him.  
“That’s the problem.”   Letting a huge sigh out, he placed his head on the steering wheel. He looked so lost, sat there. “What is?” Sophie replied inquisitively.  
“I … Craig and I … he … I want your brother, Sophie, just as much as he wants me,” Luke stammered with such difficulty. Expressing his feelings was difficult enough, but laying his heart on his sleeve to a stranger was even harder.  
“Craig doesn’t want you,” she said firmly. At this Luke just broke into tears. “He loves you,” she finished in a compassionate tone, rubbing his shoulder to console him.  Luke lifted his head a wiped away the tears.

 

He looked at her and said, “You see my problem?” shyly smiling as he said it.  
“Oh, I see,” she said, smiling back at him, now she partly understood. “You foolish boy, why marry? And why is Craig sat up in his room crying if you love each other?” Sophie’s tone began to change to a bemused anger.  
“I was scared and confused.  But I can’t live my life without Craig. He didn’t give me chance to explain.”  Tears began to well in his eyes again. 

 

Sophie took a deep breath, and closed her eyes.  “I better not regret this,” she began opening her eyes again. “I go home tomorrow evening at seven.  I’ll give you my key to Craig’s house, and you can let yourself in. Craig will be taking me to the station, so you wait whilst he comes home. Will you be off duty by then?”  
“Yes, but…it wouldn’t feel right.  I’d feel like I was intruding,” Luke said, shocked at her suggestion.  
“If I know my brother, he won’t let you in otherwise, and you want to talk don’t you?”  She looked at the house, feeling very guilty about plotting behind her own brother’s back.  “I can’t imagine him throwing you out again, not when he sees how persistent you are.  Just don’t make me regret this, Luke.  I love Craig, and I don’t want to see him hurt more than he already is.”  
“Ok”  
“Don’t mess him about Luke, he doesn’t deserve it.”  She looked at him sternly, to get the message across before she smiled “Good Luck.”  As she got out of the car she whispered,  “I’ll drop the keys off at the station tomorrow.  Bye, PC Luke Ashton.  Hope to see you soon.”  She smiled and walked back to the house.  
Luke woke up on the sofa.  He couldn’t remember how he got home, and last night was such a blur to him.  If it hadn’t been for the fact he was wearing Craig’s jumper, Luke would have believed it to be a dream.  Tonight was his only chance to make his dream a reality.  He was going to tell Craig that he loved him.  

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 3**

 

Excitement and fear both rushed through Luke’s body as he drove to work.  Kerry talked to him incessantly and he just wanted to shout and tell her to shut up.  He reasoned that none of this was Kerry’s fault, and that if he had only admitted to himself, admitted to Craig and Kerry how he really felt, none of this would have happened.  Luke knew he was a coward, he thought of how hurt Craig must have been feeling for the past five months, how Luke had messed him about; what he had said to Craig made him cringe.  “If anyone spoke to me like that I don’t think I could face them again,” he thought, “but not my Craig.”  Luke took a deep excited breath trying hard not to show Kerry his eagerness to get to work. He looked over at Kerry smiling.  
“What you so happy about?”  She looked at him smiling boldly.  
He snapped out of his current daydream “Oh nothing,” he said nervously, not realising his happiness was showing.  
“Oh come on Luke, you can’t give me a gorgeous smile, and not tell me what it’s for?” she said, cheekily winking at him.  
“Just thought I’d smile at my wonderful … wife.”  He swallowed hard, feeling guilty as he knew the only reason he was so happy was because he was going to be alone with Craig.  
She brushed the back of his neck with her hand and said, “I love you”.  In reply Luke just smiled and giggled. He found that impossible to say.  
At morning report, Gilmore was missing.  Luke began to panic. 'This isn’t like Craig, he wouldn’t miss work'.  Just as Luke was about to get up and find out what was going on Craig walked in. Luke let a sigh of relief out.  
“Morning.”  Craig stood tall and proud at the front of the relief, not once did signs of a late night show or the emotional turmoil he’d shown last night. This unnerved Luke as his immature mind began to think that possibly Craig had forgotten about last night, that it didn’t matter what had happened. Luke put his head down and looked at his shoes.  
“PC Ashton are you with us today?”  Luke heard Craig saying in his usual voice.  
“Mmm…yes sarge…sorry”  
“Yes, well if it possible, could you stay awake a little longer,” Craig stated as if talking to a child.  
Luke just stared at him hoping for Craig to look in his direction, but he didn’t.

The day was excruciatingly long for Luke; he couldn’t concentrate on anything. He constantly felt in his pocket for Craig’s spare key. Throughout the day he had managed to convince himself that it was a bad idea to go to Craig’s house, but then he’d catch a glimpse of his sergeant in the corridor or hear him shouting at Gary for being an idiot and retrieve his confidence. He knew that Craig was the only person that could make him happy.  
Near afternoon breaks he heard Craig telling Gina that he would have to leave a little earlier today because he had to take his sister to the station as she was going home today.

 

“Ok Craig, what time do you have to leave?”

 

“About half past four, ma’am.”

“Certainly, I’ll inform Matt,” she replied, and headed towards her office. 

 

Nerves really attacked Luke as he froze in the corridor as Craig walked towards him.   “Luke,” Craig said as he passed, in acknowledgement.   “Sarge” Luke nervously replied. 'Could he tell what I was thinking?' he thought to himself.  
Luke practically ran down the corridor to suppress his nerves.  
As the day progressed Luke looked at his watch “It’s half four,” he blurted out.

 

“Well done, you can tell the time then?” Gary said sarcastically .

 

“Oh shut up Gary,” Luke snapped back.

 

“Ok, what’s up with you today, you’ve bin acting weird all day?”  He looked at Luke very confused.

 

“Nothing” Luke said as he walked away.  Luke went out to the car park to see if Craig’s car had gone, it had.

  
“Craig, your home?  I didn’t expect you back so soon,” Sophie said as Craig returned back from the station.  
“Well, thought I would come and say goodbye properly.   I couldn’t have done that at the station could I?” he said hugging her as he walked in.  
“You mean to tell me the honourable Sergeant Craig Gilmore has pulled a quick one?” Sophie said smiling at him.  
“You sound like Gina.”  He scowled.

 

“Who?” was her response?

 

“Doesn’t matter, anyway are you packed?”  
“Almost, just one final thing to do before I go.”   At that she ran upstairs, leaving Craig to make a drink.  Sophie quietly went into Craig’s bedroom and looked in his address book that he kept in the drawer at the side of the bed. “ Ashton, Ashton, Ashton,” she repeated as she looked through the pages. “Ah ha”  
The phone rang constantly.  No-one answered.  “Damn” she muttered.

 

“Sophie, I’ve made you a drink,” Craig shouted up the stairs.

 

“I’m coming”  
When Craig and Sophie arrived at the station, she looked at her watch.  It was ten to seven.  In her head she calculated how long it would take Craig to get back home and whether Luke had enough time to get to the house. She reasoned that he finished at six so he hopefully will have gone straight there.

 

“Well ok then, I shall see you again soon I hope,.” she said, hugging Craig. “Everything will work out, you know, trust me,” she said into his neck, swallowing to hide the fact she wanted to cry.

“I think you could be right, I won’t be at that station much longer, I hope to convince Gina to let me go,” he said unconvincingly.  
“When you get back home, Craig, I have …” she paused.  “Just don’t be cross with me, I was thinking of you”

 

He looked at her very confused, then smiled.  “What have you been up to Sophie?”  
“I arranged for a little surprise gift to be delivered.  Hopefully it should be there by now,” she said, hugging him again.  
“Thank you, I’ll look forward to unwrapping it,” he said.  Sophie just burst out laughing, as a naughty thought entered her head.

 

 “Have fun with it.”  At that she smiled knowingly at him, and walked away with her bags.  “Bye, brother”  
Craig just waved. He got back into the car, sighed at the loneliness he felt, and manoeuvred the car to exit the station car park.  
When Luke arrived at the house he was extremely nervous. He thought to him 'what if I’ve been set up, and really Sophie is sat in there with Craig laughing at me.'  He turned to walk away from the house 'but what if she was genuine, I’ll never get to explain'.  Taking a deep breath he confidently walked towards the door, put the key in the door and hesitated. “This is it,” he murmured to himself.  As he walked through the door he checked that no one was lurking, ready to pounce and punch him before he closed it behind him.  
Inside he contemplated where to wait for Craig. The lounge seemed the safest option. He took his coat off and went to sit in the chair.  He turned the light on but then realised Craig would know someone was in the house. So he turned it off again and sat in complete darkness, except for the dim light from the street lamp outside.  
A car engine could be heard outside.  Luke lifted his body up to see if it was Craig, it was.  Luke sat very tense in the chair, trying to figure out how to greet him.  He heard the key in the door.  Luke swallowed hard; it felt as if he was waiting on death row he was so tense and nervous. The light went on and Luke stood up.

 

Craig walked in and froze.  “The delivery was on time?” Craig said sarcastically.  
“I don’t follow,” Luke replied, looking extremely confused.  
“Sophie, she said that she had arranged a gift to be delivered.  Stupidly I said I’d look forward to unwrapping it.”   Craig tried to hide his embarrassment.  
“You never gave me chance to finish my explanation the other night,” Luke began.  He was extremely nervous, but knew he had to say this. “I wanted…”  
“I can’t hear this Luke, I’m sorry.  It’s driving me insane, constant talk of the happy couple at work, and then I have to come home and listen to it from the man himself. I can’t!”  Craig lowered his head, and walked towards the kitchen.

 

Luke grabbed his arm as he was passing.  “You have to, if I don’t say it now … I might never say it.”   Luke looked at Craig with his puppy brown eyes. “Please listen to me,” he begged.  He was beginning to understand how Craig had felt all those times Luke wouldn’t allow him to speak.  
“Kerry and I…”  
“Oh dear, please don’t,” Craig begged as he sat closing his eyes, to alleviate the pain passing through his body.  
Taking a deep breath Luke continued, “Kerry and I, well…we…you’ve ...” Luke couldn’t speak, his words were a jumbled mess, he looked down at Craig and saw the pain he was in.  Craig sat with his hands covering his ears rocking as if hiding from a monster.  
Luke buckled; he couldn’t say what he wanted. He knelt down in front of Craig, took his hands away from his ears, lifted Craig’s chin up, looked into his eyes and very softly kissed his lips. Both men shivered as their lips met.  This very simple gesture sent electric sensations through Craig.  
Luke pulled away slowly to check the expression on Craig’s face. Craig’s eyes were closed. They slowly opened to look at Luke.  
“What…” Craig didn’t get chance to finish as Luke planted another gentle kiss on his lips.

 

“Let me explain the way I want to explain.” Luke said as he pulled away.

 

Craig cleared his throat, “Ok,” he said, in a sexy gruff voice.  
“I can’t say it was, I mean when we first met I didn’t feel anything just that you were a new sergeant at the station.  But I used to watch you walk through the corridor and feelings began to change inside me.  They terrified me, Craig. I thought that I was just looking for your approval because you seemed to dislike me so much.  But then I realised that being disliked by someone had never effected me the way it had with you.” 

 

Luke got off his knees and sat at the side of Craig, who just looked at the floor. “Never in my life have I contemplated fancying another man, it’s just something I never imagined would happen.  I like women, I do.  I was so confused, I couldn’t understand why you affected me the way you did, my stomach used to do somersaults whenever you came near me. That’s why I kissed you in your office.  I had to understand. You told me you liked me and that’s why I did it.  I used you to rid me of my confusion.”   At this Luke looked at Craig.  
“You used me, thanks I really needed to hear that.” Craig said sarcastically.  
“Yes, I’m sorry. But I'm not sorry for kissing you.”  Luke swallowed.  
Craig lifted his head and looked at Luke with a confused expression. “I don’t follow, is this another game Luke? Some…”  
“I am not sorry for kissing you, because I enjoyed it. If I hadn’t I would never have know how I really felt. Kissing you was amazing. I haven’t felt so alive and aroused in my entire life.”  Luke smiled as he said it, he could feel a weight been lifted from him.  
“Why tell me this now, why marry Kerry, why in God’s name tell me it was a joke, and that it meant nothing?" Craig fired back.  He didn’t trust Luke, not now, not after what he had put him through.  
“I’ve fancied women all my life, been turned on by women. Then you walk into my life and everything changes. I’ve never looked at another man and then I thought ‘wow fit bloke’.  Looking at you makes everything else in the world fade in comparison.  Do you know what I’m trying to tell you, Craig?”  Luke looked at Craig for an understanding reply.  
“So, let me get this straight Luke, you’ve known that you wanted me from day one?” he said looking at Luke suspiciously.  “That when you kissed me, it actually meant something, and it wasn’t a mistake?”  
“Yes Craig,” Luke said smiling.  
“You must think I’m an idiot!  First you kiss me, then say it was a prank, and ignore me for months, then you…we sleep together and you announce you're still marrying the woman you love, and now you sit there and tell me I light your fire, you want me and that you always have. Go away, you’re pathetic. What is this?   ‘See how much the puff can take?’  Well let me tell you, Luke Ashton…”  Before he got a chance to finish, Luke pounced on him, kissing him ravishingly.  
“Luke stop!  Luke get off!”  Craig, muffled between kisses, tried his hardest to get Luke off him. but the younger man pinned him down. Possibly he could have thrown Luke to the floor, but did he really want to.  Luke took hold of Craig’s hand and put it on top of his fly.  
“Does that feel like a wind-up to you?”  He went to kiss Craig again, but found himself being thrown to the floor, as Craig quickly scrambled off of the sofa to his feet.  
“Stop this now!  I’m not into married men, I'm not …”  
“I’ll divorce her,”  Luke snapped back.  Both men just stood looking at each other, both were pretty breathless.  Craig was shocked at what Luke was suggesting, shocked his dreams might actually be coming true, but how could he trust Luke now after what had happened in the past.  
“Go home Luke, go home to Kerry. What has happened in the past should stay there.”   Craig couldn’t believe he was saying this to Luke.  The man he loved stood offering himself to him, something he always wanted, and he turned it down.  
“I’m sorry, Luke”  Craig put his head down, knowing this to be his last chance ever, and he had blown it.  
“SORRY,” Luke shouted.   “SORRY!!!” he bellowed again.   “I come here to confess my feelings to you, to tell you how I can finally admit to you and myself that I am in love with you.”   At this Craig looked up straight into Luke’s tear-filled eyes. “That I can’t live my life without you, and all you have to say is sorry!”  
“Luke…” Craig stammered  
“No save it, I will go.”  Luke picked up his jacket and went to walk out of the room.  He turned to look at an astonished Craig “I love you Sergeant Craig Gilmore, more than life itself.   I wish you felt the same, but I can see you don’t anymore.”  Luke released a tear which ran down his soft cheek.  
“I do.” Craig whispered back. “You’ve hurt me beyond comprehension, Luke.   I can’t keep letting you do this to me, but I do love you, in fact I love you so much it hurts.”  He closed his eyes, waiting for Luke to change his mind and tell him it was a mistake, that what he had just said was a joke. It had happened before.  Craig waited but Luke said nothing.  Instead, Craig felt two warm hands caress his face.  Craig opened his eyes to see two beautiful brown eyes staring lovingly at him. “I’m dreaming” Craig breathed.  
“If you are, I’m dreaming exactly the same dream,” Luke replied, and followed with a kiss. “If you want me Craig, I’m your's now and forever,” Luke said kissing him again.  
“I have always wanted you Luke, my feelings have never changed, but what about…” Craig said apprehensively.  
“Kerry...” Luke finished as if he was thinking the very same thing.  
“Are you going to tell her?” Craig questioned.  
“Well no, I thought that I could stay here at weekends, and at the flat through the week, she won’t mind!” Luke said sarcastically to hide he was scared and hurt at the same time.  
“I doubt that would work, do you?” Craig joked back hoping Luke wasn’t being serious.  
“I do love her,” Luke started.  Craig’s heart just sank; he’d heard this speech so many times before. “But I can’t live a lie.”  Luke smiled at Craig.  
At this Craig just forgot himself and started to kiss Luke as he’d always wanted to. His hands roamed over the gorgeous body he had finally got to himself. Luke’s tongue explored Craig’s neck; he could hear soft moans coming from Craig as he fondled his erection.

 

Luke smiled as he could see the pleasure he was giving Craig, “Let’s go upstairs” Luke whispered into Craig’s ear.

 

Craig looked at him.  “Are you sure?”   Luke could only nod, as Craig had made him totally breathless.  
As they headed towards the stairs, a knock came at the door.  “Leave it, they’ll go away,” Luke said, eager to get Craig upstairs.  
“Craig, I know you’re in there, let me in” Gina shouted.  
“That bloody woman.” Craig said. He looked at Luke.  
“Answer it, otherwise she will never go,” Luke said, laughing at Craig as he looked so frustrated. “I’ll wait upstairs, don’t be long.”  Luke pinched Craig’s bum and ran up the stairs so as not to be seen by Gina,  
“Ah, there you are,” she said, pushing past Craig.  “You don’t mind if I come in do you, we have to talk.”  She looked around the room to check the coast was clear.  
“Gina…” Craig tried to tell her he was ‘busy’ but without any success.  
“Is someone here?” she enquired.  
“Gina, I am not really in the mood to entertain.”  He tried so hard to sound convincing. Normally he would have offered her a drink, but in this instance he couldn’t wait to get rid of her.  Luke was sat waiting and that was arousing Craig even more.  
“I’ve come to tell you the latest gossip,” she said, making herself comfortable on the sofa.  Craig looked at her in embarrassment as all he could think of was a few moments ago he was being seduced by PC Ashton where she was sitting.  
“You know gossip does not interest me, Gina.”  He looked at her confused.  
“Oh I’m sure this will. I have to tell you Craig, it is however, in confidence and cannot be repeated outside this room. That is, until it is common knowledge.”  Lighting a cigarette up she sat and waited for Craig to speak.  
Letting out a sigh, knowing he couldn’t get rid of her just yet, he said, “Go on then, what is this important news?”  Just then the telephone rang. “Oh bloody hell am I to get no peace tonight?” He stormed.  
“Craig Gilmore,” he snapped down the phone.  
“Hi Craig, it’s Kerry.”  
“Kerry, Hi, I’m a little busy at the moment can I call you back?”  
“Certainly sarge, bye”  
“Bye.”  He placed the receiver, and looked at Gina, confused.  He momentarily closed his eyes thinking through the fact he had Luke upstairs hiding, Gina sat on his sofa and Kerry was just on the telephone.  Most nights he was alone, and tonight he had more than enough ‘friends’ to deal with.  'Why tonight?' he thought to himself. 'Right first things first'.  
“Yes Gina, you were saying.”  
“There’s no easy way of putting this, Craig” she said as she took a very deep breath. “Kerry came to see me today, she was quite upset.”  Thinking that this was going to be another one of Gina’s warnings to stay away from Luke, he replied sarcastically, “What’s Luke done now?” knowing that pretty soon she would be even more upset.  
“Fertilised one of her eggs, Craig,” she replied, just as sarcastically, but regretting it as she saw the pain engulf Craig. The twisted expression on his face was enough to make her stand and hug him. “I’m sorry Craig, it was bound to happen, and obviously I didn’t think so soon but eventually.”   She released him from the embrace and looked at him.  
“I suppose it was inevitable,” he mumbled. His world just collapsed, his dreams were shattered.  Ten minutes ago he was in the arms of the man he loved and now he was in the nightmare that the man he loved was going to be a father. Thoughts invaded his mind 'did Luke know when he came here, was this release for him, he’s made a fool of me again'.  Craig couldn’t think anymore; the pain was too intense. He swallowed hard to hide his emotions and simply said “Another Luke Ashton in the world, how will we cope?”  
Gina just looked at him daring not to speak, as she knew this piece of info had just wrecked her friend, and she could see the anguish it was causing him.  
“Thank you Gina, I will see you in the morning.”  At this he stepped towards the door and opened it and signalled for her to leave.  
“Craig, are you going to be ok?  Why don’t I go get us a big bottle of scotch and we can both wallow in self pity?” she said smiling at him.  
“No thank you, I’d rather be on my own”  
She eventually left, and he closed the door behind her.  Within the matter of half hour his dreams had come true and then been destroyed all in one swoop.  He wanted to cry but he knew that if he began he wouldn’t be able to stop. Craig just stood against the door trying to figure out why he had to suffer all this pain.  Why did Luke come into his life?  Why had fate dealt him this hand?  
“Has she gone?” Luke whispered from the top of the stairs.  
“Yes, Luke she has, and I think you better had as well,” he replied, swallowing hard to fight the lump choking his throat.  
“What? Why? What’s the old bag said now?” Luke began to descend the stairs in a panic.  
“Inspector Gold has just informed me of a future arrival at Sun Hill,” Craig said in a monotone voice.  
Luke looked confused “Why should that affect us?”  
“It’s a future Ashton, something you should have told be before the little farce in my lounge.” Craig’s tone changed to bitterness.  
“I don’t…” Luke breathed in sharply; his surprised expression suggested to Craig that Luke wasn’t the only one to just find out. “Kerry’s pregnant, since when?”  
Craig snorted a laugh “Well if you don’t know I sure as hell don’t. I take it you didn’t know.”  Craig felt guilty, as he shouldn’t have been the one to announce it to Luke. He didn’t want to know himself.  
“What do I do now Craig, I can’t…” he sat on the stairs, putting his head into his hands, and shaking his head.  
“I understand Luke, you have to do the right thing.”  Craig swallowed hard against the tears.  “Go to Kerry, and we can forget this ever happened.”   Saying it was killing Craig, but he couldn’t make life more complicated for Luke and he didn’t have the emotional strength for this anyway.  
 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 4**

 

Craig had taken compassionate leave and gone to Wales.  One of his aunts had died and he had to attend the funeral. It was a welcome break even though he wished it had been under different circumstances. Even though it was him that had told Luke to go home to Kerry, he regretted saying that every second of the days that had passed. The pain inside him just wouldn’t go away, his life was again a bleak mess.  
Luke and Kerry were congratulated constantly around the station. Kerry was ecstatic about the news, she was going to have a proper little family of her own, and she had even begun discussing names.  
“What about Liam, maybe not. If it’s a boy Luke do you want to choose the name and I shall choose it if it’s a girl. Luke are you listening to me?”  She looked at a very distant man; he wasn’t in a happy dream she thought. “Is something wrong?”  She put her hand on his arm to awaken him from his daydream.   “Are you ok?” she said softy.  
“I’m fine, tired I suppose. What were you saying?” He tried not to look so pre-occupied but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Craig, how happy they were that night before this news erupted. Luke tried to stay tuned into the conversation but it was no use, the only thing he wanted was to be with Craig.  
“What about Craig” Kerry suggested very naively, snapping Luke out of his distant land.  
“What about him?” Luke said very grumpily.  
“For a name. Craig Ashton or Benjamin Craig Ashton. I quite like the sound of that. What do you think?”  
“I’m not having my son named after the Sarge, I’m not. Besides Craig wouldn’t like it.”  Luke was hurt at the suggestion, it was punishment enough that he couldn’t have Craig, without naming the constant reminder as to why they couldn’t be together after him. Luke knew that he was supposed to be as happy as Kerry about the baby but he couldn’t help but think that if it wasn’t for the baby he and Craig would be in Wales together, and he could support Craig. But instead he had to be here, listening to baby babble.  It was doing his head in.  
“He’s been a good friend, Luke.  If we can't name the baby after him, then I want to ask him to be Godfather, and I won’t be moved on this Luke,” she stated very firmly.  
Luke just sank in his seat.  He was trying so hard to be happy about this child but it didn’t feel real, it certainly didn’t feel right. Luke knew the moment Kerry mentioned the baby to Craig, especially asking him to be Godfather, would really hurt him, and Luke didn’t want that. He began to feel dizzy with all the thoughts of impending fatherhood rushing through his mind. Luke looked at Kerry, and for the first time felt hatred towards her.  If it hadn’t have been for this unexpected bombshell he would have been able to tell her the truth. He knew it wasn’t Kerry’s fault; it was his own for marrying her.  
Luke’s mind wandered back to the night he and Craig were in the hotel, and then the night they had found out about the pregnancy. Luke thought of how passionately Craig kissed him and how aroused Luke had felt just to be near Craig. Never in his life had anyone made Luke feel so alive just by looking into his eyes. He could still taste Craig’s lips when he closed his eyes, and if he thought hard enough he could feel his mouth, Craig’s tongue playing with his own. Luke opened his eyes to reality and found himself quite turned on. Never had his daydreams caused such a stir. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he could feel his embarrassment strengthening.  
“Luke, are you ok? You look a bit flushed?” Kerry said noticing he was a rather crimson. She felt his forehead with the back of her hand.  
“I feel really hot and dizzy.”  
Luke couldn’t face another day at work, everyone constantly patting him on the back saying things like “Lukey boy, or should we say daddy-boy” it was so irritating. He called in sick. He made some excuse to Kerry that he would go stay at his mum’s until he was better because he didn’t want her to catch anything in her condition. He felt slightly guilty for lying to her but he couldn’t cope. Luke knew he was a coward, but now there was a child involved what could he do.  
Sophie knew something wasn’t right with Craig.  He’d been there nearly a week, and had barely spoken three words. He sat alone in his old bedroom just staring out of the window.  
“I’m sorry, Craig” she said, hesitating before entering the room.  
“What for” Craig replied trying to smile genuinely.  
“I gave Luke the key to your house, I told him to talk to you. I wish I hadn’t.  I thought he loved you. Stupidly I thought I was helping.” Sophie sat beside Craig on the bed, she could see the pain in his eyes. His complexion was pale from not eating.  
“He did, he wanted me, he does love…” Craig just put his head down, a single tear rolled down his rough cheek.  
“Tell me Craig, please. I want to help, seeing you like this is killing me.” Sophie pleaded with Craig, her voice trembling from the fact she wanted to cry also.  
Craig closed his eyes, let out a long sigh and lifted his head to look out of the window. “Luke and I…” his head dropped again. “It’s more complicated now, more than I ever imagined. Luke came to see me the night you left. In fact he did as you told him, he waited in the house for me. At first I was annoyed with him, I didn’t want to be the victim of another one of his tantrums, and believe me Sophie there have been many.”  He looked at her and smiled.  His eyes were filled with tears. “Sat there he looked as wonderful as ever, I just melt when I see him Sophie, I’m pathetic.  I’m his sergeant, I’m his superior, but when I look into those eyes of his I’m lost.  I know I have to sort it out but I can’t do that when I have to see him and Kerry together day in day out.  That’s why I asked Gina to give me a transfer but the meddling cow won’t let me, she says I have to live with the consequences of my actions.” He snorted a laugh.  “My actions,” he said sarcastically.  Looking at Sophie “I’m not the one married when I’m know I’m gay.  She thinks this is all my fault,you know. That I’m the one leading Luke astray, when all said and done he kissed me first.”  He swallowed hard.  
“Go on.” Sophie whispered.  
“The night he came to see me, he finally admitted to me that he did love me, that he couldn’t live without me and that we should admit all of it to Kerry.”  He smiled at the memory.  
“Really?” Sophie said very surprised. “But I don’t follow, why are you…”  
“Kerry is pregnant.  We were about to...” he cleared his throat in embarrassment, “well you know, and Gina turned up. She kindly announced that Luke was going to be a father.  You can imagine the rest.”  He put his head in his hands and began to sob.  Sophie rubbed his shoulders to try and comfort him, tears rolling down her face also.  
“My dreams came true and were smashed in a matter of minutes,” Craig mumbled, in an attempt to stop himself crying.  
“I’m so sorry Craig, I really am. And there’s absolutely no chance that you and Luke can be together?”  She leaned forward to look at him.  
Craig lifted his head at looked at her puzzled “Did you hear what I said, his wife is pregnant with his child, Luke is going to be a father,” he replied, angry and frustrated.  
“No, what I mean is, if he loves you and you love him surely something can be worked out.”  She swallowed as she could see Craig wasn’t impressed.  
“What’s done is done, nothing can be changed now.”  At that Craig got up to leave the bedroom, turning as he got to the door.  “I can’t compete with a baby, Sophie.  His wife yes, but his child, no.”   At that he left the room.  
Luke sat at his mum’s hating every minute of his existence. The constant ache in the pit of his stomach reminded him of Craig, how messed up the whole situation was.  Luke was really beginning to miss Craig.  Memories of their last night together haunted him.  He took his mobile out of his pocket and dialled Craig’s number.  He’d decided things couldn’t stay as they were, it was make or break time. Craig’s phone however was switched off.  Luke didn’t know his number in Wales, so he thought of the only option, Gina.  
“Inspector Gold,” she said picking up the phone.  
“Ma’am, it’s Luke, I mean PC Ashton,” he stammered.  
“Ah, PC Ashton, are you feeling any better?”  
“No, well yes.”  
“Well, which is it Ashton, I don’t have all day,” she said impatiently.  
“I need a favour.  Could you let me extend my leave for another week. There’s something important I have to do?” he asked anxiously.  
“What’s going on Luke?  Has something happened? If you’re not sick you should be here at work; you’re a police officer, Luke Ashton.  Act like one. You cannot just decide you don’t feel like working today,” she stated very firmly.  
Luke took a deep breath.  He knew he would provoke a strong reaction. “I need to speak to Sergeant Gilmore, but I need you to give me…”  
“And that will take a week will it? Besides, Luke, Craig is in Wales.”  She finally caught on to what Luke was implying.  “Oh no, Luke, I am not letting you go to see him, no way!  PC Ashton, you listen to me. Stay away from Sergeant Gilmore or I will grant him his wish for a transfer.  I will have him out of this station before you could even blink, my dear.  Do you understand? You are going to be a father pretty soon.  Does that not mean anything to you?  Stop messing people about, and stay away from Craig. That’s an order!”  She didn’t wait for a reply; she just put the phone down.  
All hope just left Luke.  It was hard enough not seeing Craig for a week, but he couldn’t bare the thought of not seeing him at all.  Gina was right he had made his decision; he had to live with it.  Luke had suppressed his feelings for Craig before; he had to do it again, and the last thing he wanted was Craig to leave him forever.  Luke thought hard about the situation, and even though his heart told him to go to Craig, he knew that the best thing would be to stay silent about how he felt.  
 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 5**

 

The months passed with barely a word being exchanged between Luke and Craig. When they did speak it was very formal, work related and they were never alone. Luke continued to play the happy husband and expectant father, he'd accepted his fate. Kerry had noticed the change in him, how distant he was but she just put it down to nerves of the baby's arrival.  
Craig busied himself around the station avoiding contact with Luke and even Gina, as her looks of disapproval were driving Craig to despair. Kerry was on maternity leave so avoiding her wasn't much of a problem. When she occasionally visited the station Craig found an excuse not to see her.  
"Luke, hiya, is Kerry coming in today?" Robbie asked Luke as he passed through the front office.  
"Yeah I think so, she said it's boring being at home all day." Luke laughed back.  
When Kerry arrived at the station Robbie took her straight up to the canteen for a coffee and a gossip. Around the table were Luke, Nick, Robbie and Kerry. Some of the relief were passing through.  
"Do you need anything, can I get you a cushion?" Robbie was fussing around Kerry like a little hen.  
"I'm fine Robbie stop fussing, really I'm ok." Kerry happily replied.  
"Oh I'm sorry I just…you know me." Robbie sat down "Have you decided on a name yet?"  
Kerry looked across the table to Luke and smiled. "Yes it's taken nine months but yes."  
"Well" Robbie eagerly said.  
"It's going to be Cass for a girl, David for a boy"  
Robbie's eyes filled with tears "That's great" she choked.  
"Cass would have liked that, it's nice." Nick said trying also to fight an emotional breakage.  
Sensing the tension and sadness around the table Luke stood up, kissed Kerry on the cheek "well got to get back out, there's a violent protest that needs to be kept under control." Luke signalled with a nod to Nick that they had to go.  
Kerry then screamed and held her stomach, "I think you better stay with me, your child's on its way." She moaned.  
Everyone went into a panic "Nick tell Matt for me will ya" Luke said escorting Kerry to the nearest available mode of transport "I'm going to the hospital with her"  
"No problem mate." Nick said running to find Matt.  
When Nick found Matt he was his usual disgruntled self. Matt wasn't happy, as now he was an officer short down at the protest and knew that all the spare relief needed to be there as the last report that came in said that it was becoming increasingly violent.  
"Ah Gilmore, I need you to fill in for Luke down at the protest. I'm an officer down and need some more of the relief to tackle the problem." Matt ordered Craig  
"Where's Luke, he was at morning report what's happened?" Craig questioned.  
"Luke's had to go with Kerry to the hospital she's gone into labour, Lukey boys going to be a father. Something I doubt you'll ever be Gilmore." Matt said sarcastically obviously not knowing the extent of Luke and Craig's relationship.  
"Well yes I shall leave the sowing of oats to the straight guys." Craig replied trying to hide the fact he was hurting by the news. He knew Kerry had to have this child and that Luke was going to be a dad, but he had tried so hard not to think about it that he didn't prepare himself for when it actually happened. Grumpily Craig stormed through the corridor back to his office to collect his jumper and coat to go to the protest. In his office he sat in his chair to try and gather himself before facing the public. "It's finally happened then, it's definitely over. I've lost him." He said to his chest.  
"Who've you lost Craig, now is not the time to misplace people." Gina said sarcastically. She was stood in the doorway to his office looking rather smug as she always does; she had obviously heard what Craig had said.  
Craig cleared his throat "oh nothing ma'am, just…"  
"It's not over yet Craig, for it to be over you BOTH have to let go." She threw him a knowing look, "Let's go to this bloody protest, one thing I hate is protestors" Craig followed her down the corridor with a confused look on his face, he did not understand what she was implying by that comment. He didn't dare ask in case it provoked an argument, but it wouldn't leave his mind he just kept repeating it to himself. "Does Gina know something, why won't she tell me" is all he could think.  
At the hospital Luke was stood at the side of Kerry's hospital bed holding her hand, he looked rather frightened. The nurse had told them that even though Kerry's waters had broke, the baby wasn't quite ready to come out and that it may be a long labour.  
"I can't do this, Luke" Kerry said squeezing his hand as she had another contraction.  
"It will be ok, Kerry. I'm here with you." Even though he was stood with his wife, who was about to have his child he couldn't help but think of how this could have been different.  
Down at the protest things had got heavily out of hand. Tony, Des, Gemma, Gary, and Nick were trying there hardest to calm some of the protestors, but the situation had got well out of control and beyond their efforts.  
"Sierra Oscar from five nine five." Tony had to call for help.  
"Sierra Oscar receiving, go ahead five nine five"  
"Backup is urgently required at Camden Street. Over"  
"Ok Tony, back up on its way"  
The protestors were shouting abuse and throwing things at the officers. Craig and Gina pulled up in the riot van and stepped out with some more of the relief. "Gemma what's the situation" Gina asked.  
"Ma'am things were quiet until the paedophile came to that window up there. They just went mad and started throwing things at the window, we attempted to calm them down and they said we were protecting a nonce. From then they've got worse." Gemma said quite exasperated.  
"Right, you lot follow me." Gina ordered Gary, Craig and Des to follow her up to the crowd.  
"Right.  I'm Inspector Gold, and I'm not happy with the situation, but we have a job to do and it's easier if…"  
Craig was keeping his eyes peeled as Gina spoke. His copper's sense told him this crowd were on the edge. One wrong word could turn them into a seething mob.  
"…..you go home and let us get on with it."  Gina completed the sentence, but somewhere in there she had spoken the wrong word.  
With one voice the crowd roared and surged forward. Quickly the police officers linked arms, acting as a flexible fence, but the sheer number and anger of the mob pushed them back. It was chaos! A howling, teeming sea of faces ebbed and flowed around them. Craig felt Gina's arm pull away from his.  As he turned to look, he saw a hand holding a brick heading towards her. Acting on instinct he put his arm up to turn the blow. The man holding the brick changed direction and the brick belted him across the side of the head, scraping the skin at his temple.  At almost the same moment Craig felt another blow land under his arm which left him momentarily breathless. Dazedly he watched as his hat was trampled underfoot, then, like the tide, the crowd moved back a few paces, pulling Gina with them to her knees. Craig tried to make sense of the scene around him, but was unable to do anything more than watch. He heard a buzzing noise in his ears which sapped his will and strength. He felt as if he were watching a film when drunk. The pavement wavered and then rushed up to meet him.  
"Sergeant Gilmore" Gina shouted, as she rose to her feet. Craig was lying on the floor with a gash across his left eye and a bruise purpling his temple. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to get up. Just as he did one of the protestors ran forward and lunged himself at Craig. He punched him in the face and as Des pulled him off him, he kicked Craig in the stomach. Gary assisted Des wit the struggling man, and Gemma went to help Gina get Craig up off of the floor.  
"I know him, he's nothing but a puff, he's bent," the man shouted.  
Des and Gary moved in and were trying to restrain him when Tony quickly realised that this guy had been responsible for the attacks on gay men not so long ago; Craig was one of the officers sent to offer support to the victims. "Ma'am, Craig arrested this guy not so long ago for attacking gay men, he's a gay basher." Tony whispered to Gina.  
"He's as bad as that lot in there," the man shouted again.  
"If you don't shut your mouth I'll shut it for you," muttered Des.  
Craig managed to get to his feet and was trying to get his bearings. Blood was running down his cheek. He tried to wipe away most of it with his sleeve and the back of his hand. As he stood away from the mob, and listened to the other officers trying to calm them down he felt an aching pain from the punch he received under his arm. He put his hand to it to ease the pain but felt a warm moistness and when he pulled his hand away noticed that his jumper inside his body armour was covered in blood. When he lifted his arm it caused an immense amount of pain. Thinking back to the attack, Craig knew that when he had thought the man had punched him, he hadn't.  He'd stuck a knife into his chest from under his arm, the point where the body armour wouldn't protect him when he had his arm raised. So as not to cause any distraction to the other officers, Craig went to the back of the riot van, and stood against the closed doors. He closed his eyes to try and wish away the pain. He could feel the blood from his head running down his face, he could taste it as it ran over his lips. He slowly opened his eyes but not for long as everything was blurred. A tremendous lethargy came over him, and he closed them again. His body began to feel limp and he slipped down the doors as his legs give way. He hit the floor with quite some force and his head hit the pavement.  As he lay there he tried to open his eyes again but they only opened a fraction before closing again. This time they didn't open again.  
"Where's Sergeant Gilmore?" shouted Gina.  "Gemma go check on Craig for me."  
As Gemma approached the van she saw Craig's arm sticking out. "Sarge…" she said panicking. "Sarge…" she repeated as she ran towards the van. "Sarge! Sierra Oscar from two four nine are you receiving"  
"Sierra Oscar receiving. Go ahead two four  nine"  
"Ambulance required at Camden Street protest. Sergeant Gilmore's unconscious."  
As she had finished requesting assistance, Des and Gina came to see what the matter was, and saw Craig lying there in a gathering pool of blood. Gemma was applying pressure to the stab wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding.  She checked his pulse and breathing.  
"Ma'am, he's been stabbed." Gemma was close to tears as she looked at Gina.  
Gina put her hand to her mouth and looked away from Craig as he lay there motionless. "The scroat that did this to him will pay for it. Des get a blanket out of the van."  She knelt down to Craig and brushed his blood stained hair. "Hang on in there, Craig, don't you go yet." She whispered and kissed his cheek. She bent over and whispered in his ear so none of the others in the relief could hear. "Don't you leave Luke, not now he loves you."

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 6**

 

"Congratulations Mr and Mrs Ashton you have a very healthy son," The doctor carefully handed the baby to a tearful Kerry.  
"He's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," Kerry happily cried as she kissed the top of David's head. She stared lovingly into her child's crystal blue eyes as she stroked the side of his soft pink cheeks and listened to his breathing. She looked at him as if he were the most precious stone in the entire world.  
"Hello son, I'm your daddy." Luke grinned proudly as he saw a beautiful baby lying in the arms of his wife. For the first time in months he felt truly happy.   "Thank you Kerry," a tear ran down his face as he looked at her, he truly loved her for giving him a wonderful child. He felt so overwhelmed, he never expected to love the baby so instantaneously but Luke looked at his son with such love it consumed him.  
Kerry held little David until the nurse came in and suggested they put David in the cot beside her and let them both get some rest.  
"Mr Ashton maybe you should leave your wife to get some rest and go and get her some fresh clothes for when she wakes up."  
As Luke walked through the hospital corridor his heart was filled with joy, so much so that he could hardly contain himself when he saw Tony and Gina waiting in the reception.  
"Tony, Ma'am, I'm a dad. I have a son, a little boy. You should see him he's…"  
Luke paused as he saw the look of distress on Tony's face and the closed expression in Gina's eyes. His copper's nose told him something was very wrong. Gina looked straight into Luke's eyes as if trying to  tell him why they were here telepathically. She appeared to be having trouble speaking, her anger closing her throat. He did a quick mental check to make sure she wasn't angry about anything he'd done recently. The tense silence was too much for him, his heart rate soared making him ask, "What's wrong? What's happened?"  
The panic in his voice shrilled through Gina's ears, as she knew once he heard the news, his happiness at the safe arrival of his son would instantaneously disappear.  
Gina had to sit down, her composure had slipped. The strong Inspector everyone respected wasn't quite the hard-faced bitch she pretended, but now she was quite reserved and uncharacteristically quiet. It was unnerving for Luke; Gina always stated an opinion and was never afraid to voice it.  
"It's my fault, I wouldn't let him go," she whispered in the hope no one would hear, she tried her hardest to stay calm and collected but this was after all Craig Gilmore, a good friend and colleague. Both Tony and Luke heard what she said. Tony understood but Luke was even more confused.  
"He was doing his job, what he's trained to do."   Tony sat beside her and placed his arm on her shoulder. Luke found this even more incomprehensible as Gina wasn't the type of woman who needed consolation from anyone.   "It's the Sarge, he had to come out on duty today. Well…" Tony cleared his throat. "The protest got out of control, someone went for Gina with a brick…" Tony paused his own countenance was slipping.  
"Is he badly hurt?" Luke asked, for a moment unable to understand why Gina and Tony would be this upset over Sergeant Boyden getting hurt.  
Gina looked up disgusted with him, she looked at him as if he were something she'd trodden in.  "Do you think, PC Ashton…," she slowly, and terrifyingly rose from the seat, never losing eye contact with Luke.  Intimidated Luke waited. "…that I'd be sat waiting here if someone wasn't badly hurt?  
"No ma'am," Luke quickly replied. He swallowed hard before daring to ask. "What happened?"  
"Some bloody idiot went for me with a brick and Gilmore decided to play the hero and got hit instead of me," she paused for a moment. She was eternally grateful to Craig but also she felt tremendously guilty. "The last thing I need is Gilmore protecting me," she finished, her voice harsh and uncaring.  
Luke's complexion turned paper white at the mention of Craig's name.  
"We will find the scrotes that did this to Craig mark my words and I will personally see to it justice is done," Gina said dangerously calm, noting the hurt expression on Luke's face.  
Luke knew from the way both Tony and Gina were acting that it was more serious than they were letting on, but he couldn't let his guard down, especially in front of Tony. Inside he was screaming to know what had happened. Gina's eyes alone said a thousand hurtful things, he knew from the twisting, gut-wrenching feeling that the love of his life was injured but to what extent.  
Gina let out the breath she had been holding, and sniffed hard.  "Tony, get me a coffee please.  Luke?"  
Luke shook his head, he didn't quite understand her change of mood, and confusion took over again which slightly alleviated the nauseating feeling inside. In a matter of seconds she had gone from psycho inspector to comforting inspector, it unnerved Luke.  
"Ma'am. Won't be long." At that Tony disappeared down the long corridor.  
"Excuse me," Gina said to a passing nurse.  "May we use the relatives room?"  Gina had some how reverted back to her professional self, no true emotion showed not even anger.  
"Certainly, it's this way."   The nurse showed them the way.

 

Luke began to panic at the sudden need for privacy. When inside the room Gina close the door and asked Luke to sit down. This time however, as if by magic, the upset returned to her eyes and voice, the upset she really felt.  
"Gina, tell me what's really happened to Craig, and the extent of his injuries. Please!"  He looked at her liked a frightened child. He sat down, keeping eye contact all of the time.  
"It was at the raid. As Tony said someone came at me with a brick, Craig stepped in and took the full force of it. He was hit at the side of the head with it."  She paused and walked to the window opposite.  "As he lifted his arm to block the blow he was knifed under the arm.  The blade went into his chest . And that's not all.  Before we could get him to safety he was quite badly beaten.  The injuries he sustained from the blow to the head were enough, but you know Craig - he won't give in easily. The stab wound is much more serious, but the beating on top of that as well…," she trailed off.  
As Gina presented what had happened Luke gasped, the pain he felt engulfing his body.  From where Gina stood he looked as though he was feeling the pain for Craig. His tortured expression was enough to make Gina want to cry but she kept her composure. Luke sat there fighting the tears and pain that welled inside. He couldn't lose control in front of Gina of all people. His entire body was shaking in fear of losing Craig, and anger at himself. Luke knew it wasn't his fault but somehow he felt responsible for Craig, he felt connected to him in someway.  Luke was now shivering; he had his head in his hands.  
"Is he OK? Stupid question! Is he…," he looked at her with tears streaming down his soft pale face. He dare not ask the inevitable question. He closed his eyes and fought hard not to be here. He went back to a time when all he could imagine was kissing Craig, a time when he himself could have happily drowned in those beautiful dark eyes, when the sheer electricity Craig's touch generated in him seemed to keep him constantly turned on. The happy memories Luke encountered only made reality more painful. Gina's foreboding expression cursed him. Luke knew he had to say those inevitable words.  
"Is Craig…going to live?"  

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 7**

 

 

Luke stopped what he was trying to say, he could no longer continue. His head hurt from the forceful crying, and his heart ached fearing the words Gina may utter. Those words that Luke felt would break him into a thousand tiny pieces. He took a deep breath and held it to prolong time. He exhaled as Gina began to speak.  
"I honestly don't know Luke, they took him straight into theatre. We are waiting for the Consultant to come and tell us." Gina watched the young PC descend into the torments of hell in a matter of minutes. "Craig's a fighter he will pull through Luke, he has to," she murmured, half to herself.   She sat beside Luke and stroked the back of his head, trying to console him but she knew nothing other than Craig could do that, she understood now.   "You do love Craig don't you?" she spoke softly, in a way Luke had never heard before. It was compassionate and understanding.  
"Yes," Luke whispered. "He's my world now. I can't ever imagine life without seeing him. When you said you would transfer him if I went near him that was painful enough but this…."  His voice was choked with silent sobs; she could feel the emotions as he spoke. "I admit I was…still am scared of how I feel for Craig.  I've never felt remotely like this for anyone, especially a man." He looked up at Gina his eyes were red-rimmed from crying.  As he blinked, salty tears ran down his cheeks.  
"How long have you known you were gay Luke?  I obviously know it was before the wedding, seeing you and Craig the morning of your wedding was a bit of a clue!"  A ghost of a smile crossed her face.  
"When I kissed him," Luke replied, totally letting his façade slip and poured his heart out to Gina, he knew she would listen and for the first time not judge him.  
"You see ma'am I was the one that initiated it all. I was the one who made the first move. I went to Craig's office and kissed him."  He paused and looked for a shocked reaction, but Gina just sat there, waiting, that almost-smile still hovering on her lips. "In the beginning I just wanted his approval. Everyone slagged him off for being miserable and for being queer but they knew he was a good copper.  But everything I did annoyed him; every time I saw him he had something to complain about.  I tried to hate him but couldn't, I just fought harder.  I think the turning point was when I was sent to deal with a domestic and it turned out to be the Sarge and Sean, his ex.  They were having a domestic and a neighbour called the police."  Luke laughed. "Craig looked so embarrassed when I turned up, I wasn't so pleased myself but what struck me was that I felt like punching Sean for treating Craig that way."  
"I might have done if I'd dealt with it," Gina laughed.  
"I felt jealous of Sean just for getting Craig in the first place. When Craig tried to thank me for being discreet and not sharing what had happened with the station gossips I panicked.  I felt uneasy, I don't know how to explain it, and I just couldn't handle it.  So I ran, ran into the arms of Kerry to hide.  It was as if Craig could tell what I was thinking, that he knew that I…that I fancied him.  I thought Craig hated me and would use it against me.  He has a way of interrogating you with his eyes, it's as if…," Luke trailed off.  
"I know what you mean, those eyes can see into your soul," Gina finished for him.  
"Anyway I asked Kerry out.  She had already asked me out but I'd turned her down so I knew she'd be up for it, cruel I know," he looked at Gina, with a guilty expression.  "But our date was a disaster, she tried getting a bit too friendly and I panicked," Luke blushed, "It wasn't what I wanted. So I ran back to Craig, again.  That same day I'd asked Kerry out I went to see him in his office.  As usual he was sitting behind his desk filling in paperwork.  When I knocked on the door he just looked up and said 'come in PC Ashton'."

He stood up and walked over to the window.  Gina remained seated but watched him. "As usual he made me feel about an inch high.  He just looked up and went back to the paperwork as if I was of no importance.  I perched on the edge of the desk and we talked…I talked about work.  It just came out that I thought he felt that I was the worst copper to come through Sun Hill.  I couldn't bare it any longer, I had to know.  Anyway he disagreed and…God I can still picture it!"  He blushed and looked over to Gina asking permission with his eyes to continue.  
"Well go on, don't scrimp on the detail, Craig will never tell me!" she said jokingly.  
"He said something about it being the 'job' and that it was tough on everyone.  Craig stood at the filing cabinet looking as if he wanted the ground to swallow him, I knew I had him in an awkward position.  So I trotted over and passed him another piece to be filed and said 'so you do like me then'.  I wasn't prepared for that response at all, it's something I dreamed of but never imagined getting," he paused smiling to himself.  
"Well…" Gina excitedly said.  
Luke looked at her then back out of the window smiling,  "He closed the drawer and turned to me," Luke looked at Gina with a cocky smile and mimicked Craig's voice, "Like you? I can't take my eyes off of you!"  
Gina smiled and dropped her head.  It was a good impression of the throbbing passion Craig's voice sometimes held.  
"The old dog! What happened then?" Gina chuckled.  
Luke continued, "So I stepped forward and kissed him."  
"Any good," Gina smiled raising an eyebrow.  
"Amazing! Do you know when you get that tingly feeling in your stomach? And the feeling that you know this is the person you wouldn't mind kissing for the rest of your life?"

Gina didn't even bother nodding.

"Well that happened!" Luke sat back down smiling as if the inner film he had just replayed was a blockbuster.  
"Craig said exactly the same thing.  I've never seen him so happy and it alarmed me.  I knew something was up," she said sarcastically and laughed.  "He said he'd met someone very special. I had no reason to think it was you, I never imagined he had feelings for anyone at Sun Hill, until your engagement party."  
"After that first kiss I treated him like crap, I couldn't be near him, I couldn't face up to the fact I'd kissed a bloke.  Craig tried talking to me but I couldn't face it, face what I was feeling. In the end I told him I had done it for a joke, to make him look a prat in front of everyone."  
Gina sighed.  "I know you might not want to answer this Luke but…"  
"Why did I get married?" Luke anticipated the question. He shook his head and placed his head in his hands. "To be normal, to hide the fact I'm gay, to hide the fact I'm totally in love with my male sergeant. Sergeant Craig Gilmore."   Luke tried to laugh but couldn't for the lump in his throat.  "I know I've been selfish and Kerry is going to be hurt by all of this but I've tried convincing myself its curiosity.  I've tried, Ma'am, I really have.  But each time I see Craig it just illuminates my feelings." A single tear ran down his face.  "Now I have a son to consider in the equation. You think I'm pathetic don't you?" Luke looked at Gina who had a blank expression.  He couldn't fathom whether she was repulsed or overjoyed.  Luke found it an impossibility to read what she may be thinking and it began to frighten him.  
She smiled at him "Do you really want to know what I think of you, Luke?" She looked straight at him.  
Luke swallowed hard and slowly nodded fearing what she was going to say. In anticipation of a verbal attack he closed his eyes.  "I envy you!"  
Luke opened his eyes quickly in shock. She laughed,  "Not you being with Craig, even though he is gorgeous," she leant into him nudging him jokingly.  
"I don't understand," Luke muttered  
"Craig is like me, he is the type of person who builds walls around himself, someone who doesn't make friends easily but makes enemies far too quickly. He blocks himself from the social scene.  I think it's his defence so he doesn't get hurt. My excuse is that I'm just a bitch," Gina laughed   "You, PC Ashton, saunter into the station on your first day back and totally obliterate those walls.  As soon as you were back Craig changed.  OK so he was still a miserable sod but he let me in, he let me into a tiny part of his life and it felt good.  I suppose you could say we became friends.  I value him Luke," she paused.  
Luke looked ahead and nodded to signal for her continue.  
"I knew someone special had entered his life, I just never imagined it was you Luke.  You've changed him.  He's fallen for you heart and soul.  Whether you want it or not Craig is totally in love with you," she smiled at him.  "I'm sorry for stopping you seeing Craig but I wasn't sure you felt as he did.  I thought he was pressurising you, that he was infatuated with you and you didn't feel the same.  He protested you were gay, you insisted you weren't and that you loved Kerry.  I just wanted to believe you, I think we are both guilty of being awful to Craig and treating him like he doesn't really exist when I think we both know we would miss him terribly if…, " she stopped, superstitiously not wanting to voice the fear.  
"Are you convinced now, of the way I feel for him I mean," he asked nervously.  
"Yes. But it isn't as simple as that anymore Luke is it?  Now you have a wife and child to consider. You can't do this to both of them, and besides I don't think Craig has it in him to break up a family. You have to ask yourself seriously is it worth the risk of losing your child?  I understand that you love Craig, but is it enough?  It's not a game anymore; there are going to be serious consequences to your actions from now on, my boy," she said softly just as the Consultant walked into the room.

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 8**

 

Luke quickly wiped away the tears and stood up looking at the consultant. Even now, even though he had just admitted his inner feelings to Gina, the woman that he never imagined having such a conversation with, he couldn’t show his true feelings of upset for Craig. Luke even felt embarrassed at been in such a vulnerable state when the Consultant walked in, this was overridden by the impending news the Consultant had to share with them. Luke’s heart couldn’t bear it, he yearned to be near his lover, hold his hand and say this was all a dream; that they could be together.  
Gina stood and approached the Consultant to gather as much information on Craig’s situation as possible. In true Inspector fashion she shot questions at him, not sparing the time to breath. “How is he? How’s Craig? Is he going to pull through?” Gina demanded answers.  
The Consultant put his palms out in the direction of Gina to hold the questions he had fired at him. He glanced at both Gina and Luke to assess the situation. “Hi, I’m Doctor Stephen Jacobs.  Craig is in a stable condition now. We have placed him on a private ward. He has been through quite traumatic surgery and is definitely not up to questioning right now.”   As the consultant said this he looked at Gina as she was still in uniform.  
“I understand that, I’m here to see if he is OK,” Gina snapped back, quite insulted at the suggestion.  
“The injuries he sustained were quite serious, he is very badly bruised, especially around the head area, and will be in quite some pain for a few days. We will do all we can to make him comfortable I assure you. The stab wound wasn’t as deep as we initially thought but still we need to keep a very close eye on him. Our main concern is his broken ribs.”   He paused and swallowed hard, then looked Gina straight in the eye.  
“Go on.” Gina nodded.  
“It isn’t a neat break.  The ribs on his right hand side have been severely damaged. The bottom of his ribs,”  the consultant demonstrated with his hands where the injury was, “has been broken but overlapped one another. The bone that is underneath is too close to his lung, and any sudden movement or over-strenuous movements may help the bone to perforate the lung, which could be detrimental to Craig’s life, so you must understand we have to keep him in here until the ribs are fixed.”  
Luke gasped, making both Stephen and Gina look at him.  He turned from them and walked to the window. Thoughts were running through his mind, that even now there was still the possibility that Craig could leave him forever. The consultant understood the pain Luke was going through and continued. “He’s a very strong officer, lucky too, as not many could have survived the trauma.”   He smiled in the direction of Luke who stood with his back to him. He smiled then at Gina told them that he would be at hand to answer any questions if they needed then he left the room.  
Gina looked at Luke.  “Are you OK, Luke? Craig is going to be fine.”  
Luke looked both terrified and relieved at the same time. Craig was on the mend but things had changed now; life wasn’t a simple game to stumble through anymore.  He had responsibilities as Gina had pointed out. In the last few hours Luke’s life had dramatically changed, but was it going to be for the better.  
“I’ll inform the station, Luke, of Craig’s progress.  Will you go see Craig, show him some moral support.”  She smiled at Luke knowing she wouldn’t get much of an argument.  As they both left the room she grabbed his arm and looked at him with a serious scowl.  “Behave yourself, remember.  It’s not just you that you have to think about anymore.”  At that she walked away leaving Luke quite apprehensive at seeing Craig.  
Luke looked through the hospital room window to where Craig was resting.  He lay very still with his swollen eyes closed. Luke swallowed back the lump in his throat.  Seeing Craig so badly hurt affected Luke in a way he never imagined, but Gina’s words rang in his ears. He slowly opened the door to the room trying not to make a sound so as not to disturb Craig.  As he closed the door, Craig slowly turned his head to face Luke and opened his eyes.  Luke smiled at him but Craig just closed his eyes again and turned his head back. The feeling of rejection that ran through Luke was extremely hurtful, making Luke bite his bottom lip to suppress the urge to shed tears.  
Luke walked slowly around the bed, tracing the edge of the bed with his hand.  He sat down on the bed just to the side of Craig.  He looked at the older man, lying there defenceless, and dreamed of placing a soft kiss on his swollen lips.  Luke looked at the heavenly man that lay in front of him, and thought of how much he just wanted to lie with him, how he’d love to feel Craig’s arms around him.  How he wanted to kiss away Craig’s pain no matter where it was.  Luke found himself quite aroused, but disgusted himself at the same time, as this was neither the time nor the place.  
Craig lay there like a child, innocent and fragile. His eyelids were red and swollen with purple bruising around the rims. He had a large stitched cut above and to the side of his eye.  One side of his face was a colourful mass of bruises whereas the other side had little scratches from hitting the concrete on the ground.  A dark shadow of stubble had formed on his chin and Luke found this quite attractive.  He had only seen Craig once with the five o’clock shadow, and that was the morning of his wedding. Luke wanted to stroke Craig’s face, but couldn’t decide whether he was asleep or just ignoring him.  
“You gave us all a real fright there, Sarge,”  was all Luke could think of, to test if Craig was awake.  “I thought you were…,” Luke paused as he could feel his self-control begin to crumble.  
“I’m fine,” Craig solemnly replied. Still with his eyes closed.  
“Yeah, I’m glad.”   Tears welled in Luke’s eyes through happiness and fear.  
“I’m leaving, Luke.” Craig’s voice was cold and uncaring.  
“No!” Luke gasped in desperation.  
Craig opened his eyes,  “It’s what you wanted.”  
Luke bowed his head as his emotions took over.  “Not deep down. Craig I’m scared. Kerry and the baby... I don’t know what to do.” Luke lost all control of his emotions, the barricade that had been holding the tears back shattered.  In front of his sergeant, Luke cried.  His bravado slipped, showing Craig what he had been suppressing inside for months.  Craig looked back at Luke; his eyes opened and closed as if shutting out the pain.  
Craig softly whispered,  “You’ve got to tell her the truth.  She has had your child, I assume.  She deserves honesty.” Craig stared at Luke through his puffed-up eyes.  
“I can’t, I have a son now.  It’s too late Craig,” Luke sobbed.  
Craig remained in control of his emotions, although inside the pain in his heart far out-weighed the pain of the beating.  Hearing Luke say that he had a son crucified him.  
“Are you still in love with me?  Is that why you want me to come out to Kerry?”  Luke composed himself.  He again battled against the tears, instead of releasing them.  
“I’m a liar and you’re a liar, I can't do this any more, Luke. It’s too hard.”   He swallowed hard and wriggled in bed. “I want to start again, and the next time I meet a Luke Ashton, I’ll be honest from the word go.”   Craig once again closed his eyes to hide his turmoil.

 

He then opened them to look at the young man he adored.  His heart filled with joy just at the sight of Luke but at the same time the realisation that he never would have him crippled him. As he looked into the young officer's beautiful tear-glazed eyes, he savoured the moment, knowing that when Luke decided to leave the room it would be the last time they shared such a moment together.  His entire body froze in anticipation that soon Luke would walk out of his life forever.  His heart ached and his eyes filled with tears.  
Luke slowly reached out and put his hand on top of Craig’s.  “I’m sorry.”   A solitary tear ran down his cheek.  “Don’t leave because of me.”   He waited for response from Craig.  
“You have to tell her Luke.”  
Luke looked back at the object of his affection, tears streaming down his cheek.  “Don’t leave me Craig. I can’t do this alone.” His sincere plea caused an eruption in Craig’s heart.  He closed his eyes tight to wrestle the tears he could feel being released. The injured man held his breath fighting the emotional pain Luke constantly inflicted on him, but he refused to let Luke do this to him again.  
“Craig please…,” Luke’s desperate voice echoed through Craig’s ears.

“It’s my turn to be a coward Luke,” Craig gritted his teeth trying to hold back the desire to release his anguish.   “I cannot do this anymore, I cannot be the one you run to when your curiosity gets the better of you.  I can’t watch you and Kerry playing the happy couple... family.  It’s too hard for me to go to work everyday knowing what I do and feeling…” Craig trailed off. The pain even now was too unbearable. “Luke be honest with yourself and Kerry, for once in your life.”  
“Craig tell me you don’t love me and I will leave you alone.”   Luke looked straight at Craig who still had his eyes tightly closed.  
Craig opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling, he couldn’t look at Luke as tears streamed down his face.  After everything they had shared, he felt embarrassed crying in front of Luke.  “Luke please.”   Craig begged to be released from saying it.  
“Tell me to leave and never come back, that you will be happier without me, that you don’t love me.”  
“I can’t.  I do love you Luke.  That’s why I have to leave,” Craig sobbed into the side of his pillow.  
“Then stay.  If you love me, stay,” Luke pleaded  
“Have you not heard a word I’ve said?  I cannot stay here with you and Kerry…”  
Luke interrupted, “With your help I can tell her.  But I need you here.  I love you, Craig, and today has taught me that I cannot bear to lose you.”  
“And what about your son?”  
“I can still see him, people spilt up all the time.  Just because I’m gay won’t make me from lose my child,” Luke stated very adamantly and honestly.  
Craig laughed which hurt his ribs making him tense in pain.  
“What you laughing at?” Luke sulkily asked.  
“It’s the first time I’ve heard you admit you’re gay.  It was touching I suppose,” Craig smiled, pleased at Luke’s admission.  
“Well, if you laugh at me god knows what the rest are going to think.”  He pretended to be unhappy but then also laughed with Craig.  “Gilmore’s toy boy, that’s what I’ll be known as.  Among other things.”  Luke sighed which presented Craig with more apprehension  
“I don’t want to force you into a relationship.  If you want to take things slowly we can.  You have to speak to Kerry and decide what to do before anything else happens.”   Craig waited for the usual rejection from Luke.  
“You haven’t forced me into anything I haven’t wanted deep down.  You forced me to be a man and admit how I feel, which is a good thing.  Now all I’m concerned about is having you to myself.  I will tell Kerry, but in my own time.  OK?”  
“OK.” Craig smiled and although he felt happy, he was wary at the same time. He had had his hopes dashed before, and that hurt beyond comprehension.  This time he would be more cautious.  
“May I kiss you, Sergeant Gilmore?” Luke asked with a devious smile on his face.  
“You may, PC Ashton.”  
Luke shifted up the bed and stroked Craig’s hair. He looked into Craig’s eyes.  Luke was in seventh heaven as he leant forward and whispered, “I love you, Craig.”

He then planted a soft kiss on Craig’s lips.  Craig lifted his hand and placed it around the back of Luke’s neck pulling him into a stronger embrace.  Both officers were in such a passionate embrace neither noticed Gina entering the room.  
She cleared her throat to signal she was standing there. Luke jumped up and smiled at Craig.  
“Unusual bedside manner PC Ashton.  Checking to see if his tonsils were still intact, were you?” she said dryly. “I take it you have made up your mind?”  
“Yes.”  Luke looked at her with thankful eyes.  
Craig never uttered a word; he just lay there still enjoying the feeling of Luke’s lips.

 

“You’re rather quiet Sergeant Gilmore.  Has Luke stolen your tongue?"  Gina smiled and Craig laughed, again causing him pain.  “Seriously you two are going to have to be very careful.  Remember where you work and who you work with.   Kerry isn’t going to relish this, you know.  And Luke, she has just had your child.”  
“Gina…” Craig tried to interrupt.  
“I want you both to be happy. Just be careful, that’s all.”

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 9**

 

 

Luke and Craig looked at each other with the same admiring gaze, both men fixated on the other man's eyes, not daring to spoil the tender moment. The love that was mutual in their eyes was only too apparent for Gina to see as she watched her officers fall under the spell of each other. Neither man were intimidated as Gina stood scowling at the pair of them.  Luke reached out and stroked Craig’s cheek before he stood up, still gazing into Craig’s eyes.  “I’d better be off.  I’ve to inform my mum that Kerry’s had the baby,” he whispered, but the words were a deafening blow to Craig.  
As the words appeared to echoed around the room, Gina’s mouth opened to a shocked gawp, making her lift her hand unconsciously to cover it. Craig closed his eyes as the words penetrated straight through him. Believing this to be the moment his happiness would come to an end, that Luke had changed his mind yet again. His stomach twisted and turned as he once again felt the agony of losing the man he loved.  Luke stood frozen at the realisation of what he had just said, and worst of all what it really meant.  His mind went blank; he couldn’t think of a single thing to say to Craig, to ease the verbal pain he had inflicted.  Such a simple sentence to utter, yet with so much meaning and insecurity attached with it.  
To both men it was as if a bolt of lightning struck them; the awareness that Luke was now a father and a husband petrified Luke and Craig for entirely different reasons. To Craig it was the constant insecurity he felt over Luke, the threat of losing him to Kerry was hard enough to battle against, but now his lover had a newly born son.  Craig couldn’t help but wonder how he compared . Luke however, feared the unknown.  Kerry was his hiding place, somewhere he felt he could hide his sexuality.  It was a place he knew he would be accepted.  Admitting he loved Craig would expose him and he feared that immensely.  
“Well, see ya.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”   He looked guiltily at Gina, before leaning into Craig, and planting a soft kiss on his lips.  Luke blushed slightly as he was aware that he had just kissed his male sergeant openly in front of someone.  It felt fantastic.   “Remember what I said,” he whispered into Craig’s ear, so Gina couldn’t hear.  
Craig just looked puzzled. T he words ‘Kerry’s had the baby’ were still ringing in his ears; for some reason the idea had just hit home about Luke being a father.  He couldn’t think or feel anything else other than the fear of losing Luke once he left the room. Fear and insecurity invaded Craig’s wounded body.  
Luke smiled and whispered, “I love you Sergeant Gilmore.” Both men laughed. Craig was relieved and comforted by the three special words.  
Gina stood looking irritated, as she couldn’t hear what was being said.  “Goodbye Constable Ashton,” Gina snapped.  She was annoyed at being kept in the dark, but also eager to find out what had happened between her Sergeant and Luke.  
Both men looked at each other with guilty expressions, as they knew Gina would have something to say. Craig knew he could survive a verbal attack from his senior officer as long as Luke was waiting somewhere for him. The elation of finally being loved by Luke comforted Craig beyond comprehension. The love of his life finally shared the same feelings.  
“We’ll talk later, Luke. Have a good day,” Craig uttered softly.  
Luke left the room, lowering his head as he passed Gina.  
“What the hell happened Craig.   I told you not to interfere.  I ordered you not to…”  She paused and looked at the ceiling and clenched both her fists trying to control her temper.   “What about Kerry? How could you do this to her?” she said looking straight into Craig’s eyes.  
Craig braced himself for an argument, as he knew Gina wasn’t a woman easily reasoned with. He took a deep breath causing a stabbing pain in his chest, making him cough.  “Gina…”  
“No, Craig, you listen for once…,” she interrupted, but in turn was interrupted herself.

“Take your own advice, Gina!” Craig snapped, making her flinch at his manner.  “How do you suppose I interfered?  How do you suppose this is all my fault, when I’m lying here.  If I remember rightly, he was at the hospital with his wife when I was getting a beating.  So please, Inspector, explain to me how I have interfered?”  Craig finished sarcastically, looking away from her in disgust as he finished.  
Gina stood almost speechless, shocked at Craig’s tone.   “Well, what has happened. What have you said to him? You must have said something to him?” she growled back at him, even though she knew in her heart how Luke really felt about Craig.  
“He did most of the interfering,” Craig mocked, never looking at the inspector, but glaring at the wall.  
“Don’t be flippant with me, Gilmore. I’m not in the mood for taking any crap.  Now tell me what Luke Ashton said,” she demanded.  
Slowly Craig looked at her, knowing his time-wasting was annoying her more.  He swallowed, slowly closed his eyes then opened them again.   “What’s wrong Gina?  Feeling a bit tense are we today?”   Craig fought hard not to laugh as he could see her bubbling with anger. His joy over Luke had clearly clouded his senses towards her temper.  
“Sergeant Gilmore, if I have to pull rank I will do.  Now it’s an order that you tell me what has just happened in this room.  And I would remind you that I am your superior officer and do not take kindly to being mocked.”  
“You are asking questions about my personal life, Inspector Gold,” Craig’s emphasis on ‘Inspector Gold’ was cold and heartless making Gina shift nervously.  “I am not obliged to indulge you with matters of my personal life by order or otherwise as you well know.”   He looked away from her.   “If you’re here to question me about the assault, I’m not well enough. If you’re here to question me about Luke, go away.”   Craig knew he was pushing his luck. He didn’t have the physical strength for an argument and his emotions were on too much of a high to allow Gina’s scepticism to dampen them.  
“And what if I’m here as a friend?” Gina smiled sheepishly.  She was easily defeated, as she knew this was a pointless argument, especially now Luke had admitted his true feelings, not only to her but to Craig as well.  
Craig snorted a laugh. Looked back at her he smiled, and said, “Then you may stay.”  
Seeing Craig lying there so badly injured brought a lump to her throat, she thought of what he had been through in the past months.  She had tried so hard to protect him from Luke’s wrath but couldn’t do a thing to stop it hurting, and then the sergeant protects her and ends up being physically hurt. The thought of what Craig had been through was tearing her apart inside.  
“I don’t want you getting hurt any more than you already are, Craig. By Luke, I mean.”  She sat by the side of Craig and held his hand.  Craig was her friend, and a respected work colleague; she felt responsible for him lying there, but couldn’t let that show.  
“I know Gina, but I think it could be different this time,” he whispered, his voice pleading with her to understand the situation.  
“How so?  Please Craig.  "What happened, and I promise not to judge you.”   She squeezed his hand for a silent understanding that she was here to listen to him.  
“I could tell he was really upset by my condition. I told him I was leaving…”  
“What?  Oh no, you’re not Craig!” Gina exclaimed, immediately shifting back into argument mode.  
“My mind wasn’t on the job Gina. This would never have happened if my full attention was on the job in hand.”  
“And how exactly were you to know that scrote had a knife on him?  You were protecting me.  It could have been any one of us, Craig, and you know that  Basically you were going to use this as your escape route, but let me tell you it isn’t going to happen,” Gina stated adamantly.  
“I had a feeling you were going to say that,” Craig said defeated.  
“I’m not about to lose one of my best officers, do you hear me?  Now tell me what happened between you and PC Ashton, Luke that is,” Gina added a knowing smile and nod.  
“When I told him I was leaving, he got really upset.  He told me that he never wanted me to leave.  Gina, he feels as I do.  I told you he was gay, and finally he can admit it himself.  He is going to tell Kerry.”

Gina looked away in disbelief.  She closed her eyes, mentally imagining Kerry's reaction, and how hurt she is going to be, especially when she finds out it’s Craig of all people.

“Craig, do you not understand?  Luke and Kerry are married, and not so far away from this very room she is recovering from giving birth to Luke’s child.  You are going to destroy their family.  Kerry trusted you, Craig; she thought you were a friend.  And all this time you have been trying to steal her partner.”   Gina attempted to be annoyed with him, but the obvious happiness in his swollen eyes making her soften somewhat; it was a sight she didn’t often see.  
“I’m not destroying anything.  I never tricked Kerry.   Luke did that himself.  I said that this would end in tears, that Luke would eventually admit how he really felt.  Someone, somewhere along the line would have made Luke realise he is living a lie, it just happened to be me that’s all,” Craig softly added trying not to lose control of his anger.  
“That’s all?” Gina mocked. “Craig this will devastate Kerry, and God knows what it will do to the relief once they find out.  You and Luke are going to disrupt the entire relief with your news.  Kerry will never forgive you for this, you know that don’t you?” Gina questioned, her tone changing to nervous desperation at the thought of the effect this would have.  
“Is that all you care about - the effect on the relief?” he asked, hurt by her callousness.  
“You know it isn’t, Craig. But you have to admit this isn’t your usual station gossip is it?”  The inspector laughed, trying to lighten the mood.  
“It will be harder for Kerry in the long run if Luke keeps up this façade of being straight.  It’s not right for him to lie to her and pretend to be happy so that she is happy.  It’s not fair on either of them.  It is best out in the open,” Craig said resolutely.   “I will admit that lately Luke has severely affected my concentration, especially at work.  It has been constant torture being at the station day in, day out, with those two playing the happily married couple when I knew the truth.  But as you instructed I stayed away from them both, and didn’t interfere.  But in my hour of need Luke came to me, he confessed his feelings for me, before I uttered any kind of current … feelings for him,” Craig said softly, smiling as he was still replaying the memory of Luke professing his feelings for him in his mind.  He looked at Gina and smiled pleadingly for her to understand. “I never intended any of this to happen Gina, you have to believe that.  I have tried so hard to forget about Luke but I can’t.  I truly do love that young man.  I expect to get the blame but I never made the first move, and in my experience Gina, straight men don’t go around kissing gay men, especially their superiors in this job.”  
Gina closed her eyes, leant her head back, and said in the direction of the ceiling, “Craig Gilmore you will be the death of me.”  She smiled and looked at him, holding his hand tighter.  “I’m here for you Craig, what ever happens.  If you and Luke are meant to be together then…”   Gina paused, thinking of the actual consequences,   “...so be it.  I’ve tried to meddle in this. I’ve tried my hardest to stop you two getting together, and it hasn’t worked.  So that means fate is in your favour, either that or you and Luke Ashton are two of the most insubordinate officers ever to walk this planet.  And Des Taviner takes some bloody beating, I can tell you!”   Both Gina and Craig laughed, as Gina gave in to the idea of Luke and Craig.  
“I’m not sure he will tell her yet Gina.  I’m still scared that he will opt for the straight life rather than want to be with me.  When he realises the responsibilities he has as a father now…,” Craig paused and swallowed back the lump that appeared in his throat,  “he may want that life after all Gina.”   Craig felt deflated by his own words.  He turned away from Gina, to hide his feelings.  
Gina looked at the injured man, and thought how insecure he looked.  She stroked her hand across his forehead, moving his hair away.   “Believe me Craig, Luke feels more than I ever imagined for you.  When…” she paused, taking time to reflect that what Luke said may have been in confidence.  “When he found out you were hurt, he was terrified he was going to lose you.  I must admit, Craig, I was taken aback when he admitted his full, shall we say ...  admiration for you. He adores you, Craig; listening to him snivel on about you in the waiting room was heartbreaking, especially as I didn’t know whether we would actually see you again,” she paused and assessed Craig’s condition.  
“But, what was all that before, if you knew…” Craig feebly attempted to interrupt.  
“This thing between you two has gone too far, Craig. I admit that now.  I just wanted to prevent Kerry from getting hurt; I really thought he loved her and that it was you harassing him.  I apologise for not believing you, but when a male sergeant develops a crush on a younger male PC, who is dating a female PC its all a bit too much to take in.  He protested so much, Craig, that he loved Kerry.”   She rolled her eyes anticipating Craig’s reaction.  “Yes, yes, I interfered.   I asked him to make a choice, and decide who and what he was, before it was all too late.”   She tutted at her own admission. Craig simply laughed a victorious laugh.  “I even threatened to grant you your transfer if he didn’t leave you alone, and stop this nonsense.  He tried to contact you when you were in Wales a couple of weeks ago.”   She bowed her head in disgust at herself; a worthless friend for meddling. “I’m so sorry Craig.”  
“Gina, without your interference Luke Ashton may never have admitted how he really felt.  It would have been the same repetitive story over and over again. Luke has been forced to admit his sexuality and how he feels about me; it may be the best thing you have ever accomplished, Gina Gold.”

 

Craig chuckled at Gina’s baffled face. She wasn’t expecting a thank-you, and certainly wasn’t expecting to be ‘blamed’ as she saw it for Luke and Craig getting together.  “I knew Luke was gay; he just wouldn’t admit it whilst he had you and Kerry to battle for him.  He had a hiding ground.  Without all of this, the attack I mean, he may never have openly admitted what was going on.  I could have tried pretending that I was only his sergeant but that would have lasted all of two minutes.  I cannot conceal my feelings that well, especially towards PC Ashton.   Gina, I love Luke, and whether I lose my job or friends over it, I don’t care.  I’ve fought too hard to lose him at this stage.”  Craig paused exhausted from such an open declaration.  His eyes closed, his mouth gaped slightly, and he swallowed hard as if his inner torture had finally ended.

 

Gina sat looking at the injured man, the great sergeant, the infamous grouchy Craig Gilmore, the harsh bastard everyone dreaded crossing.  A gentle smile crossed her face as she thought how soft this guy really was.  Underneath that boldness, the upfront self-confidence he oozed hid a very shy man, who just longed to be loved.  
“What am I going to do with you, Gilmore?” she whispered, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Craig made no response as the events of the day had exhausted him,  and he was now in a peaceful sleep.  
“I’ll call in again tomorrow, Sergeant Gilmore.”  Gina stood up and for a moment stared at Craig, as he lay there asleep. Smiling as she turned and left the room.  

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 10**

 

Craig slowly opened his eyes to the blinding light that hurt his already sore eyes, immediately he closed them again to ease the pain.  His head was thundering.  He tried to swallow but his mouth was so dry he felt as though he had been without liquids for days.  Craig slowly tried to lift himself to reach for a glass of water but the pain was too much, defeated he threw himself back into the soft white feather pillow.  He tried once again to open his eyes to focus on the room around him.  Through the slits he eventually made he could see a blurred figure highlighted by the light pouring through the window.  He closed them again as the light inflicted more pain to his delicate eyes. 

 

“Close the blinds,” uttered a very familiar soft voice.

 

“Sophie is that you?” Craig muttered with a gruff voice.  Sensing the bright light had gone he attempted to open his beautiful dark eyes.

 

“Hey there, what have you been up to now?”  She stood from the chair she was sitting in and took his hand.  “Mum and dad were terrified when Inspector Gold phoned and said you had been badly beaten.”  She kissed his bruised forehead.   “That’s from mum,” she repeated the kiss. “That’s from dad,” she smiled at her brother as he had managed to open his eyes successfully.  His sight was still blurred but he could make out Sophie, if she was close enough.

 

“You shouldn’t have come all this way to see me,” the injured man croaked.  He signalled for some water.  Sophie filled a white plastic cup and handed it to him.  Craig sipped on the water before continuing.  “I’m fine you need not have bothered coming all this way.”  He handed the cup back to her and placed his head back on the pillow, he felt extremely weak after his sleep.  The painkillers must have worn off because he felt an immense amount of pain running through his body.

 

“You’re my brother if I won’t visit you who will?” she chuckled.  “Any way I had to check how you were after, you know,” Sophie paused, decided not to discuss the past issue and continued.  “I brought someone with me for the ride, found him wondering the streets of Wales and thought he looked too mischievous to be left alone,”  she smiled broadly at Craig and stepped out of the way pulling a large hazy figure towards him.  Craig tried harder to focus.  He tightly closed his eyes and opened them again in an attempt to clear his vision, in doing so he saw a man standing beside his bed, smiling at him.  Craig closed his eyes again believing it to be a dream.  When he opened them again the man was still stood there smiling.

 

“Ben!” Craig swallowed hard in disbelief.  “You’re home!” the injured man’s voice was choked with happy tears.

 

“I certainly am. What have you been doing to yourself?  Can I not leave you alone for five minutes?”  the man replied in a strong Welsh accent.  The other man leant over and gave Craig a prolonged kiss on the forehead.  Craig closed his eyes and took a deep breath taking in the bodily smell of the other man.

 

Craig opened his eyes feeling that Ben had pulled away from the kiss and smiled.  “All in the line of duty,” he joked. “I take it you are on holiday?”

 

“Mmm, you have me for a full week.  Then I’m afraid I have to go back,” Ben smiled but it was clear in his eyes he wished to stay longer.

 

“So short a time?” gasped Craig.  “I…we won’t have any time together, not with me stuck in here.”  Craig suddenly hated his situation.  It hadn’t been so bad, lying there away from the pressures of the station, but in an instant that had changed.

 

“To be honest I wasn’t intending to come here, to see you I mean.  Craig, the time span wasn’t long enough for a visit.  It wasn’t until I heard you were hurt that I had to come.  Sorry,” Ben said pleading with his eyes for understanding.

 

A look of hurt washed over Craig’s bruised face.  “I understand.  It is a long way to come when you’re only here a week,” Craig attempted to sound convincing.  Both men stared at each other, both fixated on the other. 

 

Sophie cleared her throat “I’ll go get us a coffee whilst you two catch up.” 

Smiling at the pair of them she left the room.  Craig and Ben continued to stare at one another.

 

“Ben I…,” stammered Craig. He was interrupted by a very passionate kiss.  Craig could feel the other mans tongue impatiently working it’s magic inside his mouth, the other mans soft lips covering his.  Craig closed his eyes and totally lost himself in the sensation of the kiss.  He lifted his arm around Ben’s neck and pulled him closer to feel more, Ben’s skin was smooth against his.  The embrace was very arousing for Craig.  He hadn’t felt this aroused in months.  He could sense from the moaning of the other man that he too was quite aroused by the situation.

 

 

Out in the hospital corridor Sophie hesitated as to what drink she might have, hot chocolate or coffee.  As she pondered she saw through the corner of her eye a familiar figure approaching.  Turning her head she glared at the man walking towards her.

“What the hell are you doing here, I certainly hope you’re not thinking of going to see my brother,”  she snapped.

 

“Erm, yes, but…,” Luke struggled to continue as he could see Sophie was extremely annoyed with him.

 

“Don’t you think you’ve caused enough damage.  Have you not already hurt him enough without destroying his life completely?” Sophie raged in the direction of the young PC, who simply stood, head down.

 

“I…,” was all Luke could stammer.  Sophie had the same petrifying interrogational skills as her brother.

 

“I trusted you Luke.  If I’d have known what you were capable of I would never…,” she paused.  “I had to sit and listen to my brother cry himself to sleep because of you.  He was a complete wreck when he last visited us,” her voice choked at the memory of those days with Craig.

 

“All I can say is that I’m sorry.  I never meant any of this,”  Luke stated adamantly and proceeded to walk past Sophie into Craig’s hospital room.  As he walked though the door he froze.  Craig was lying in the bed holding a mysterious bloke’s hand.  They were laughing about something, but stopped as soon as Luke walked in.  Craig slid his hand away when he caught sight of Luke making Ben look confused at Craig, which in turn arose an alarm inside Luke.  Craig smiled guiltily at Luke, causing even more concern in Luke.

 

“I told you to go,”  Sophie exclaimed as she barged through the door.  Luke never even noticed her; he just glared at the intruder by his lover’s bed.

 

“It’s OK Sophie, we have sorted things out.  Luke and I…,” Craig paused and looked at Ben. Then looked back at Sophie, “Well we are friends now.”  Craig still had his eyes fixed on his sister missing the hurt expression wash over Luke’s bewildered face.  Luke felt in the reverse position, he thought to himself, why wasn’t Craig telling his sister, and ‘that guy’ that they were an item.  Had this been how Craig felt when he constantly denied his feelings for him.  Luke felt betrayed.  The young PC bowed his head to hide his hurt whilst Sophie just glared at him trying to telepathically make him disappear.

 

“Friends!” she exclaimed.  Ignoring that Ben was sitting there she continued the argument. “How the devil can you be friends with him?” she pointed angrily in the direction of Luke, but looked directly at Craig. 

 

Craig opened his eyes wide, and nodded in the direction of Ben to signal her to shut up. 

“Because he apologised for the misunderstanding.” 

 

At this Luke looked up with a puzzled and hurt expression.

 

“Some misunderstanding,” she breathed sarcastically.  And gave up on the argument understanding how awkward Ben must have been feeling. 

 

Luke stood looking at Craig trying to figure out why he wasn’t telling his sister the truth.  She obviously knew what had happened before, why wasn’t he telling her the happy ending to it all.  The conversation continued as if Luke wasn’t even in the room.  Both Craig and Sophie were apologetic towards Ben.  Luke felt like a spare part in this little equation.

 

There was only one chair in the room and Ben was sitting in it.  He quickly stood up, and in a gentlemanly fashion offered it to the lady. 

“Here Sophie, take a seat.  Please.” 

She thanked him and sat down beside her brother.  Luke stood sulkily slouched against the back wall at the foot of Craig’s bed.  He glanced at the man stood behind Sophie.  He was about Craig’s age, if not the same age.  He stood very tall and proud with his muscular arms folded across his broad chest.  The guy looked intimidating the way he stood.  He was even more threatening as to the way he appeared to have captured all of Craig’s attention.  Luke glared at him and hated him as he could see in Craig’s eyes the admiration he had for him.  Luke stared hard at the intruder, trying to impose some of his importance with little effect.

 

Ben had smooth olive skin, such a beautiful tan that highlighted his dark hair.  He had the longest lashes Luke had ever seen on a man, even compared to his own.  The guy looked straight at Luke and smiled making the younger man snap out of his wonderland.  Luke simply glared at him; the mysterious man’s ocean blue eyes captivated him.  The clearest of blue eyes, ever bestowed upon a man.  Luke could feel himself drowning in his eyes, being lost in them, not realising where he was.  When the man smiled he had dimples either side of his mouth, illuminating this guys appeal, especially to Craig.  Luke began to feel a pain rotating around his stomach, the sudden curiosity as to why this man had shown up now and why did Craig look so guilty and especially why had he denied Luke.  Panic engrossed Luke.  His face turned pale and his love struck feelings from within faded to fear.  Luke eyed up the competition.  He threw the intruder an infamous dirty look and smiled in the direction of his lover.

 

“So how you feeling today?”  Luke stammered trying to appear in control.  Luke looked at Craig trying his hardest to block out the man stood admiring his lover.  Luke felt uneasy with him stood there.

 

Craig sensed Luke’s unhappiness at the situation.  Totally disregarding his question Craig said, “Luke this is Ben.  Ben this is Luke.  Ben is…,” Craig paused and looked quite flustered looking at Ben for assistance.

 

“An old… ‘friend’,” concluded Ben smiling knowingly at Craig.  The sergeant just stared intensely at the other man; it was the same passionate stare Luke had often been the subject of.  The young PC began to panic as it was apparent Ben and Craig had a history together, Luke was fine with that everyone including himself had a past, what did panic him was that he sensed from the look in both men’s eyes that history may be about to repeat itself.

 

Ben swiftly held out his hand and offered to shake Luke’s hand.  “Pleased to meet you as Craig here said I’m Ben.”

 

Luke flinched; he was affected by the simple gesture.  The older man was polite and charming making Ashton immediately hate him.  For the first time since meeting Craig Luke felt truly threatened.  Luke simply turned away and refused to shake his hand.  Craig winced with embarrassment and the deep disappointed stare he threw in Luke’s direction made his young PC blush.  Again Luke felt like he had done months before when he had tried so hard to win Craig’s approval.

 

“Luke is one of the Police Officers at Sun Hill,” Craig said looking in the direction of Ben.  “He recently got married to a fellow officer and few hours ago Kerry, his wife, had a little baby boy.  Didn’t she Luke?”  Luke merely nodded.  He couldn’t look at either man, as he felt too ashamed.  He hated the way Craig discussed him as if he was just a colleague.  This offended Luke, Craig had pressured him to admit his feelings for him and yet when it came to Craig admitting them to Ben he refused to do so.  Craig continued ignoring Luke’s annoyed expression.

 

“Ben is a teacher in Ireland, he is over for the holidays.” 

 

Luke looked at Craig disinterested and slowly silence crept in making the hospital room an uncomfortable place to be.

 

Gilmore tried to lift himself up the bed, to sit up but he was too weak and declined the effort.  Ben quickly leaned forward, put his strong arms gently beneath Craig’s underarm.

 

 “Use me as a support and push.”

 

Craig placed his hands on the other man’s forearms and pushed.  The pain was evident in Craig’s face.  Luke watched as he saw the pain engulf his lover and it hurt him to see it, the thought of Craig being in such agony upset Luke.  A lump came to his throat; he swallowed hard against it to hide his emotions.  It wasn’t because Craig was hurt but whilst Ben was helping the sarge neither man looked away from the other.  They both stared longingly into each other’s eyes.  The bond between the two men was very strong Luke could sense that and it terrified him.

 

“Thank you,” groaned Craig as he adjusted himself to a comfortable position.

 

“Anytime,” Ben replied smiling broadly.  Brushing Craig’s fringe aside.  Luke put his head down, inside this show of affection between Craig and Ben that was being broadcast in front of his very own eyes crucified him.  The young PC swallowed hard against the tears and pain that surrounded his heart.  Thinking to himself ‘what did Ben mean by anytime, was he going to be around for Craig’.  Again Luke panicked.

 

“You look tired Craig.  I think it is time we left you to get some rest.  We will go and book into a hotel…,” Sophie began to say.

 

“No stay at my house, I insist,”  Craig interrupted.  Luke lifted his head in shock.  ‘Ben stay at Craig’s’ Luke thought to himself.  Was Craig doing this to punish him?  Luke felt very deflated and alone, was he losing the man he adored to a stranger.

 

“OK, we will come back tomorrow to see you.”  At that Sophie kissed Craig on the forehead and moved towards the door. 

 

Ben stood next to the bed, held Craig’s hand and softly said, “Take care of yourself.  I’ll pop back tomorrow to see you again.”  He leant in closer and whispered, “God it’s so good to see you again Craig.”

 

His soft Welsh accent echoed through Luke’s ears.  He looked into his sergeant’s eyes and saw true happiness.  Luke held his breath to fight the tears.

 

“You coming Luke?”  Ben uttered as he got to the door.  “Your Sergeant needs his rest,” Luke simply nodded; pushed himself from the wall he was resting on and followed, head down.  He dare not look at his sergeant in fear of losing control.

 

“PC Ashton may I have a word please?” Craig demanded very formally.  Luke froze to the spot anticipating a harsh telling off.  Looking to the floor he stayed silent like a shop dummy.  Sophie and Ben left the room and continued to make there way home.

 

“Luke” Craig softly uttered, as he searched for a reaction from Luke.

 

Luke swallowed hard “Sarge” he still couldn’t look in the direction of the older man.

 

“Can you help me?  I’m in extreme pain.”

 

Luke lifted his head, looking at his superior concerned he went to assist. 

 

“Where does it hurt?  Do you want me to get someone?”  Luke’s voice was panicky.  He turned to leave the room to fetch someone when Craig grabbed his arm.

 

“It hurts, there,” smiling, Craig pointed to his lips.  “I think they are feeling neglected.”

 

Relieved Luke forgot himself and leaned in and softly kissed his lover.  Holding back slightly he looked deeply into Craig’s eyes, not realising he himself had tears streaming down his face.

 

“You are crying Luke.  Why?  What’s happened?”  Craig asked softly rubbing away the tears with his thumb.

 

“Ben.  That’s what’s happened,” Luke sobbed.

 

“What?  I don’t understand,” Craig looked at Luke puzzled.

 

“The way you look at each other, I’m not stupid.  It’s the same way you…well we used to look at each other.”

 

“Used to?” Craig mocked.

 

“Don’t take the piss Craig.  Why wouldn’t you tell him we were together, why did you…,”  Luke stormed.

 

“Luke I am not in a position to argue or explain to you.  There are far too many complex issues that surround Ben and I.  I will explain them to you, but at this very moment in time I do not have the emotional strength to have this discussion.  Now I order you to kiss me again PC Ashton!”  Craig never smiled simply fixed Luke with his official stare.

 

“You drive a hard bargain Sergeant Gilmore,” Luke cheekily smiled at the injured man and passionately kissed him.

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 11**

 

Craig awoke with a lack of feeling in his left arm; panic arose to his throat as he looked down.  Smiling and feeling ridiculous he found the beauty asleep hugging his arm with his head resting on it.  “Luke,” Craig whispered in a vain attempt to move the gorgeous creature contently sleeping.  He manoeuvred his arm trying hard not to stir sleeping beauty; the sight was too captivating to spoil.  Smiling victoriously Craig softly placed his hand on top of Luke’s head, stroking his hair. The pain circulating through his body vanished as he dreamily looked at his true love sleeping peacefully on the same bed as he.  

 

An hour passed and Luke began to wake, “Hi sleepy head,” chuckled Craig.

 

Looking at Craig trying his hardest to focus Luke croaked,“What time is it?”

 

“6.10am, Craig replied

 

“Damn, my shift started at 6am.  Gina is going to kill me.  Especially when she finds out why I’m late.” 

Luke stood up frantically searching for his jacket. 

“I fell asleep on the sarge’s bed, she’s going to love that,  Luke laughed.  He kissed Craig and resolved to leave the room, he opened the door but ran back to the bed and kissed his lover again.  “Behave yourself Sergeant Gilmore.  I will be back when my shift ends.”

 

“What exactly do you expect me to get up to in here?”  joked Craig.  “Are you going to see Kerry and the baby today?”  Craig questioned cautiously

 

“David, my son’s name is David,” stated Luke. “I will see him later, after I’ve checked on you.”

 

“And Kerry?”

 

“Not now Craig, I’m late as it is.” 

At that Luke rushed away.

 

In Luke’s absence Craig had a yearning in the pit of his stomach for the young PC.  Thoughts surged through his mind of Luke, Kerry and baby David.  The uncertainty of whether Luke would be able to admit to Kerry he was gay and whether he could leave her and his child, and if he did would he end up hating Craig for it.  All of Craig’s insecurities surfaced and once again he found himself in emotional hell, being alone in a strange environment only proved to intensify matters.  There was not anything to distract him from his thoughts.  He could feel himself welling up inside, his lip began to tremble as the sobs released themselves.  Craig angrily wiped away the tears.  He felt embarrassed and annoyed at himself for being reduced to this.  He pushed his head deeper into the pillow and stared hard at the ceiling, breathing deeply to gather his composure and stop the crying.  Craig tried to think of how happy Luke could make him feel, how alive he felt inside when Luke was near.  But with Luke things were so versatile, Craig didn’t feel totally at ease with him.  Now Ben had arrived back into his life at such a crucial time.  The conflict of emotions running through Craig’s body soon wore him down; he could feel himself drifting into sleep.  An insane battle going on inside his head as he wondered into the land of peaceful dreams.

 

Gilmore drifted in and out of sleep waking for a few moments at a time only to fall back into blissful imaginings.

 

He drifted back into consciousness to feel a soft gentle hand stroking his cheek.  He felt a warm hand gripping his hand.  Craig opened his dark eyes and focused on the beautiful sight next to him.  “You came back” Craig croaked. 

 

“I said I would.  I came earlier than anticipated because… well I missed you.”

 

Craig swallowed hard, “I missed you too.  But I have to tell you something Ben.”

 

“Before you do, may I kiss you?  I’ve missed kissing you.” 

The man stroked Craig’s bottom lip as he said it, focusing on his soft sensuous mouth.

 

“You might not want to, once I say what I have to tell you,”  Craig gulped, Ben was teasing him and Craig found it increasingly hard not to respond.  His head was telling him this was wrong, what about Luke.  But his heart was shouting go for it.

 

“That is why I want to do it now.” 

At that Ben stood up and softly kissed Craig.  He pulled back to check Craig’s expression.  He lay there eyes closed with a heavenly appearance, Ben leant in again and kissed the injured man with more passion.  “I still love you Craig,”  Ben whispered between kisses.  Craig froze.  His stomach knotted with butterflies. 

 

“Ben we have to talk.” 

Craig held up his hand and gently pushed Ben away.  “I have to tell you something.”

 

“Craig I know about Luke, Sophie told me.  He’s more than a colleague, I could see that in his and your eyes.  She thinks it’s all over between you two but I could sense yesterday it’s far from over.” 

Ben sat down in the chair beside Craig, with a disappointed look on his face. 

“Am I right?”

 

“We are together, sort of.  He still has to tell Kerry, his wife.”  Craig looked away from Ben to hide his insecurity in this matter.  “Wanting one another isn’t enough, it isn’t as a simple as that.”

 

“Are you sure he will?  Tell his wife?”  Ben softly enquired.

 

“No.  To be honest I’m not sure of anything anymore,”  Craig choked.

 

“Craig why are you doing this to yourself?  You deserve better than this.  He is an attractive guy but from what your sister has informed me and his manner yesterday he has a lot I of issues to work through and a lot of growing up to do before starting another relationship.”

 

“You think I don’t already know that?” Craig snapped.

 

“Craig what has happened to you?  When have you ever gotten involved with a man that is already in a relationship, let alone a married man?”  Ben looked surprised at the deflated man laid in the bed.  “This isn’t you Craig, you’re a wreck.  He may be a wonderful young man, but do you honestly deserve to be treated like this.  I would never…,” Ben paused, swallowed hard and bowed his head.  “Do you love him?” Ben asked cautiously.

 

“Ben please don’t do this!”  Craig pleaded with his eyes and his voice.  He could feel the tears welling up inside.

 

“Do you love him?” Ben asked a little firmer.

 

“Maybe Luke is exactly what I deserve,”  Craig whispered.

 

“I don’t follow,” Ben looked up at Craig with a puzzled expression.

 

“The pain I have endured because of Luke Ashton has almost killed me.  You have absolutely no idea what it has been like for me to watch him cavort with Kerry and purposely taunt me, all because he cannot handle that he is gay.  He kissed me, you know.  He came to me in _my_ office and kissed _me_.  Then he told me it was a joke, a wind up that it meant absolutely nothing.”

Craig closed his eyes to hold back the stream of tears.

 “He denied me for months, kept telling me he was in love with Kerry and I knew he didn’t but eventually told myself to give in.  Then the crippling blow came, they got engaged,”  Craig scoffed, “But you know the night before the wedding, his stag night, we…,” Craig swallowed and looked at Ben.  He was sat looking at the floor.

 

“Go on.” 

Ben never looked up.  Craig could sense this truth was hurting him.

 

“We ended up in bed together.  But he still got married.” 

Craig stopped his face was tear streaked; his mouth was dry from crying and talking.

 

“And how exactly do you figure that you deserve all of that?”  Ben asked crossly, still looking at the floor.

 

“I hurt you just as much as Luke is hurting me.  Maybe it’s a way of being punished,”  Craig snuffled.

 

“Difference is, I’m here wanting to love you and be love by you.  What happened between us was as much my fault if not more.  We broke up because we had to, not because we wanted to.” 

Ben looked up into Craig’s eyes and took his hand.

 

“True.  I do still love you Ben, that much hasn’t changed but…,”

 

“Luke,” Ben blurted out.

 

“Yes…”

 

“No, Luke.”  Ben let go of Craig’s hand.  He nodded in the direction of the door.  Ben glared at the young man standing open mouthed in the doorway.

 

“Luke!” exclaimed Craig as he tried to adjust his body to facing Luke.  Craig looked terrified as he saw the hurt expression on Luke’s face.

 

Luke stood for what felt like an eternity looking at his Sergeant before walking out of the room.  He didn’t utter a word just simply closed the door as he left.  As he walked down the corridor head down he could feel the warm salty tears rolling down his soft cheeks.  To escape embarrassing questions he headed towards the nearest toilets.  He stood looking in the mirror watching himself cry.

 “You’ve lost him now Luke Ashton.  Hope you’re happy with yourself,” he said to his reflection.

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

 

**CHAPTER 12**

 

“We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life,”  the priest spoke softly as he scattered handfuls of dirt over the coffin.  All of the attending officers had taken off their hats and placed them across their chests and bowed their heads in respect. 

 

As the committal finished the officers walked around the grave scattering handfuls of dirt.

 

“See ya sarge,” uttered Tony as he scattered the earth.

 

“Sergeant Mathew Boydon you were a damn good officer.  You will be greatly missed,”  Gina proudly stated as she also paid her last respects.  Coughing profusely in the cold damp air. 

 

 

Kerry sat adoring the sight of her husband holding their son in his arms.  Luke sat in the chair beside her bed holding little David, he was talking to him about football and being a police officer.  He rocked backwards and forwards smiling at his son.

 

Finally Kerry had achieved her ambition to have her own special little family.  She sat smiling happily at them and at how happy she was.  A knock came at the door taking Kerry from her dream world.  She stood up and went to answer to door.

 

“Hello all, thought I’d pop in see how you all were,”  Robbie beamed as Kerry opened the door. 

 

“Hiya Robbie, come in.” 

She kissed her on the cheek as she walked in.

 

“Hiya Luke.  God isn’t he lovely.”

 

“Thanks Robbie never knew you cared,”  joked Luke.

 

“Not you, little David.  He’s gorgeous.  Aww, hasn’t he grown.  How old will he be now?”  Robbie leant in over the baby smiling broadly at the little bundle.

 

“Four and a half months.”  Kerry beamed

 

“Oh I brought the little mite a pressie.  Not much but…,”  Robbie said a little shyly.

 

“Thank you Robbie,”  smiled Kerry.  “Do you want a drink?” 

 

“No thanks, I’m alright.”

 

“So any gossip then.  You know what Luke’s like when I ask him if any things happened at the station he just says not much.  Now I know you will have more to tell me.  I’m going mad stuck in this flat all day.” 

Kerry sat down next to Robbie on the sofa with and anticipated look on her face.

 

“Well…,”  Robbie widened her eyes.

 

“Oh here we go David,”  Luke mocked.

 

“Ssssh!”  Kerry threw him a disapproving look.

 

“Phil hunter has finally got his comeuppance.  The DCI caught him red handed apparently.”

 

“Doing what?” exclaimed Kerry.

 

“Something to do with Ron Gregory and a case they were working on.  Phil tried to help Ron out and get him off the hook but the DCI found out, it’s something to do with Phil’s wife.  It’s all been kept very hush hush.  Mickey knows more than he’s letting on but don’t worry I will find out the full story in the end.”

 

Luke sat holding David as he slept while the girls caught up on the gossip.  Nothing really interested him as basically he knew about it already it just didn’t interest him like it did Kerry.  He sat daydreaming, over the background noise of the chattering women.  He thought to himself life isn’t that bad with Kerry, he felt content.  David was a special part of his life, which took away the pain of past events.  Days were easy enough to get through, some days harder than others.  On the bad days all he could think about was Craig, what they could have been doing, what Craig was doing.  Others blurred into one.  Luke had learnt to accept the way things were, act the part of the happy husband and the doting father.  Although he loved and adored his son, he always had an ache in his heart, a yearning for Craig.  On occasion Luke picked up the phone to ring his sergeant, just to check he was OK, but thought better of it.

 

Robbie chattering constantly rudely interrupted Luke’s daydream. 

 

“Oh and Sergeant Gilmore reports back for duty tomorrow,”  she blurted out.

 

Luke spun his head in the direction of Robbie.  Kerry looked at Luke baffled.

 

“What?” stammered Luke in a high-pitched tone.

 

“You told me he was transferring after the attack,”  Kerry questioned.

 

“I…I…”  Luke was too shocked to speak.

 

“He is.  I mean he was,”  muttered Robbie.  “Apparently he can’t.  Meadows won’t permit it,”  Robbie gasped.

 

“Why?” questioned Kerry.

 

“Because with Matt…you know, it makes an officer down.  Sergeant Murphy has been put in Matt’s place but still if Gilmore goes it’s another officer down.  Oh and plus Gina has been ordered to go on sick.  Meadows was the one that arranged it, he’s been to see Gilmore and it was finalised that Craig return to the station tomorrow  and take Gina’s place.”

 

“Why what is wrong with Gina?” Kerry asked worried.  Luke simply sat in silence.

 

“Apparently she has pleurisy.  She was adamant though that she wasn’t going on sick leave until Gilmore came back.  He apparently is going to be acting inspector until she comes back.  

 

“When will that be?” snapped Luke.

 

“Not sure, when the infection goes I suspect.  She has a strong course of antibiotics to take and because the pleural fluid is excessive she may have to have her chest drained, which means she will be hospitalised.  I heard her telling Sam this morning,” Robbie sat back in the chair relieved at her gossip had been spilt.

 

“Poor Gina, she will hate not being at work bossing us around,” joked Kerry.

 

Luke sat transfixed, his heart racing.  All he could think of was facing Craig in the morning.  His head hurt, panic arose to his throat, he felt as though he was suffocating.  Memories of that fateful day in the hospital of Craig saying he still loved Ben invaded his head.  Luke shakily stood up and handed David to Kerry.

 

“Need the loo,” he whispered.

 

Every step he made he could feel his composure crumble.  He had finally achieved safety with Kerry, finally accepted his fate and the mere mention of Craig shatters all of that.

 

Luke perched on the side of the bath with his head in his hands. 

“I can’t do this again,”  he whispered to himself, on the verge of tears.  How was he going to face the man he still loved, loved with such a passion it threatened everything he had with Kerry and his child.

 

The day passed by in a mist of confusion.  Luke constantly watched the time as the day drew to an end.  He dreaded going to sleep. He knew that when he awoke it would be time to face Gilmore. 

 

The first few months after the hospital incident Craig had attempted to phone Luke, but Luke decided it was best he ignored it.  He didn’t need an explanation.  Craig’s eyes had spoken a thousand words to him.  Every time he saw Craig’s name appear on his phone a tingling feeling raced through his body, but for months he had suppressed the urge to see his Sergeant and now it was inevitable.

 

In bed Luke lay awake staring at the ceiling, his stomach knotted.  The nervous anticipation running through his body disallowed him to drift into a satisfying dreamland.  Instead he lay awake hating his very existence.  Torturing himself with thoughts of Ben snuggled into Craig’s arms at this very moment.  He hated Ben for destroying his hope of happiness.

 

Craig stormed through the corridor towards his office.  Oblivious to officers wishing him a good morning and welcoming him back.  He was trying his utmost to appear calm and collected.  Inside his stomach churned, his heart pounding.  He constantly wiped his sweaty palms on his trouser leg.  Once in the comfort of his office he tried to settle but his nerves had the better of him.  He paced aimlessly up and down his office muttering to himself.  Knowing Luke was to appear in the same station as him in a few more minutes terrified him, and Craig Gilmore is not a man easily scared.

 

“Sergeant Gilmore, carpets don’t come cheap you know,” Gina pronounced sarcastically as she entered the room.  “You look like you are waiting to be hung.  What may I ask is the matter with you?”  Gina still with the sarcastic tone in her voice and annoying glint in her eye perched herself on Craig’s desk.  She coughed violently when she finished speaking.  Her complexion ill looking.

 

“Everything is fine ma’am,” Craig firmly stated.

 

“They why are you wearing a groove in the carpet if everything is fine?  Craig STOP!”  she shouted.  Coughing more from the raise in volume. She stood up and took a hold of the sergeant, by placing both hands around his waist she held him still.  She stared deep into his dark eyes searching for an explanation.  “What the hell is wrong with you?  Look I know Luke is back on duty today…”

 

“Don’t start Gina,”  Craig said exhausted with her inquisition.

 

“Let me finish.  I see PC Ashton decided to stay with Kerry, for better or for worse.  Craig he chose her, again.  To me that far outweighs any crush you may have on him, he’s happy to be with her.  Leave it alone, now.” 

Her words were sharp and cold to Craig’s ears.  He knew what she was saying was total rubbish but arguing with this woman was impossible.

 

“Certainly ma’am,”  Craig stated confidently.  Gina looked surprised after anticipating further argument.

 

“You won’t…interfere with Luke and Kerry?”  the inspector asked cautiously.

 

“No ma’am,”  the sergeant answered with a little more composure.  Craig’s sudden changed of attitude unnerved Gina.  She knew Gilmore never accepted things this easily, he wasn’t a man easily defeated. 

 

“Right then, when the briefing is over I want you in my office.  I have things I need to say before I leave you in charge.  Oh and Gilmore don’t get too comfortable, I won’t be gone for long,”  she smiled at him.

 

“Are you OK, with the situation I mean?”  Craig asked cautiously.

 

 “About being replaced by a poof, no,”  she laughed.  “I wouldn’t have anyone else in my place Craig.  You are a damn good officer, and I know you will do your best.  You won’t be as good as me, but then who is?”  she chuckled and coughed some more.

 

“Ha ha!  I will do my best and thank you Gina,”  Craig added warmly.

 

“What for?”

 

“Being a friend when I needed it most.”

 

“Me? Now don’t let that get out, the wicked witch can be NICE,” she mocked a shiver patted Craig on the arm and went to leave his office.  He put his head down and smiled to himself. 

 

Craig decided to go to the briefing room a little earlier than normal.  He wanted to be in the room before anyone, namely Luke, arrived.

 

As the young PC entered the room Craig had to contain himself from shouting out his name.  The sergeant could feel himself pull in his breath and hold it in fear of speaking too openly to the one he adored.

 

Luke stared at the man at the front, tingling inside with the same passion as he had always when he thought of Craig.  His heart thundered as he looked into the eyes of his ex-lover.  Time appeared to stand still as the adoring looks penetrated through the passing officers.  Neither man could look away and neither man wanted to hold the gaze.  The chemistry between the two men was electrifying, even Gina sensed it.  She stood in front of Craig and angrily whispered,

“When you are ready Sergeant Gilmore.”

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 13**

 

Craig walked out of Gina’s office with a mixture of feelings.  He was happy to be given the opportunity to be acting inspector but then again he was still stuck in Sun Hill.  There was still the impending duty of having to see Luke every day.  It was eased by the fact Kerry wasn’t at work so he didn’t have to face them together.  But still the crippling feeling he had at the sight of Luke haunted him. 

 

“Sarge…I mean Sir,” Gary looked at Craig bemused.

 

“Still sarge Gary.  Gina hasn’t gone yet,” Craig murmured.

 

“You OK now?”

 

“Yes Gary I am fine.  Thank you for asking.  Was there something you wanted only I’m quite busy,”  Craig snorted.

 

“Erm I just wondered if you fancied going for a drink with us tonight?  We are all going, sort of a welcome back,” Gary said proudly.

 

“Sarge can I have a word?” stuttered Luke from behind Craig.

 

“Certainly Luke what about?” The sergeant spun round and faced the young PC.  Craig was glad of the interruption, just wished it was someone else.  He wasn’t quite prepared to talk to Luke yet.

 

“Well I best be off,” quipped Gary patting Luke on the back as he passed him.

 

“It’s kind of personal,” Luke swallowed hard. 

 

“In my office might be better,” Craig stammered his nerves were beginning to take over again.  He tried to remind himself he was at work and to be professional. As he went to follow Luke into his office he heard Robbie calling him.

 

“Sarge. There’s someone at the front desk asking for you.”

 

“Who is it?” Craig snapped.  He leant into his office. “Luke I won’t be a moment.”

As he left he closed the door.  Leaving a very nervous young man standing in front of his desk.

 

In the silence of Craig’s office Luke wrestled with his emotions.  Why am I here? He asked himself, Craig has a new boyfriend he doesn’t want me any longer.  Luke tightly closed his eyes and imagined Craig admitting loving Ben.  The same pain impounded his heart as it had done all those months ago, he couldn’t handle this.  Never in his life had he had to fight for someone.  Never had he wanted to fight for the affections of a man. Confusion overtook his entire body and he began to lose self-control, he had to leave.  Luke looked out of the door, no sight of Craig so he ran to the changing rooms.  As he sat fighting the want to cry, he tried convincing himself what he had with Kerry was enough.  That David meant everything to him, for David he could stay with Kerry.  Deep down Luke knew he could never love Kerry or anyone else for that matter, the way he loved Craig.

 

“So what was it…” Craig stopped realising Luke was no longer in his office. A shudder passed down his body.  Disappointed he walked in his office and sat down at his desk.  It was another game Luke was playing, why couldn’t he just leave me alone? He thought to himself.  He let out a rather long sigh and resigned himself to tackle the pile of paperwork left on his desk.  No matter how he tried he couldn’t get Luke out of his mind.  Why had he come to see me in the first place? He thought.  At first hope of a reconciliation filled his heart and then it was destroyed by the image of Luke leaving the hospital with a look of hate on his face.

 

“Sergeant Gilmore, time for a drink I believe,” coughed Gina.

 

Craig looked at his watch and realised he had been hard at it for a full shift.  He felt as though he had been put in a time capsule, the time had passed so quickly.

 

“Well I wasn’t…” Craig began.

 

“Nonsense man.  You are coming for a drink.  Now get changed I will meet you in my office in ten minutes.”

She disappeared from the door.

 

“And that’s an order Gilmore,” she shouted from the corridor.  Craig sighed but then laughed at her persistence.

 

Against his own better judgement Craig sat in the smoky atmosphere of the local pub listening to the rest of the relief talking amiably about their lives and how their day had been.  Tony and Nick were winding Gary up about some blonde that he had tried chatting up and basically she turned him down flat.

 

Luke had come but adamantly stated he couldn’t stay long as Kerry didn’t want him out too late.

 

“Got you under the thumb already.  Told you didn’t I?” pronounced Des in his predominant Liverpool accent.

 

“No, it’s not like that!” protested Luke rather feebly, trying his hardest not to make eye contact with Craig as he spoke. 

 

Craig simply sat in silence, daring not to speak in fear of ridicule, daring not to speak in fear of saying something he may regret.  He sat daydreaming, totally oblivious to what the others were saying.  Gina had already left; the dry atmosphere of the pub wasn’t doing her health any good.  She had made Craig stay when he attempted to leave with her.  When she was there Craig didn’t feel as isolated from the others, she was sort of backup for him.  Now she was gone he felt quite exposed. He stared at the lines of bottles behind the bar, it was a minor distraction from the young man facing him, the young man he adored but couldn’t have. 

 

Luke sat opposite Craig and occasionally stole a look at his sergeant.  He laughed to himself as he could see Craig wasn’t enjoying himself, he knew that he didn’t want to be here.  Luke put his head down and looked at the older man through his brow.  ‘I want him so much’ he thought to himself.  Luke battled with his arousing need for Craig, looking at Craig so vulnerable excited him beyond belief.  He could feel the effect Craig was having on him, and they hadn’t even touched.  Luke blushed slightly as his trousers bean to peak. Even though he was sat there amidst colleagues all he could imagine was stripping his sergeant. Luke quickly left the table and went to the gents.

 

“Anyone for another?” Tony asked raising his empty glass.

 

“Not for me Tony.  I’m going to get a bite to eat and call it a night,” uttered Craig. At that he gulped down the rest of his drink and stood to put his coat on.

 

 “Sarge, stay for another,” slurred Gary.

 

Craig simply ignored PC Best and headed for the door.  The others sat finishing their pints as Craig said his goodbyes.  Before he finally left the building Craig dared to have one glace in the direction of Luke.  But he wasn’t there.

 

Outside Craig stood at the edge of the pavement waiting for a red escort to pass before he could cross the road.

 

“Sarge wait!” 

A faint familiar voice appeared from behind him.  “I’ll join you if you don’t mind,”  Luke gasped.

 

“Luke.” Craig was taken aback.  “What are you…”  Craig looked at the young man in bewilderment. 

 

“I’m hungry and you’re going for food.  I want to join you,”  Luke stated very adamantly.  Craig stood confused, this young man hadn’t spoken to him for nearly five months and here he was wanting to share a takeaway.

 

The only thing Craig could muster up was a feeble response. There were so many things he had wanted to discuss with Luke but all he could manage at this present moment was,

 “I fancy Chinese, is that OK?” 

To say Craig was unnerved by Luke’s change in behaviour was an understatement.  Craig watched Luke through the corner of his eye cautiously.

 

“Well actually I fancy Welsh cuisine tonight,”  Luke added looking out into the road.  A teasing smile crossed his lips.

 

“Excuse me?” Craig questioned.  “There isn’t a Welsh restaurant around here,” Craig snapped, frustrated at Luke’s attitude.

 

“Oh but there is.  I’ve been a couple of times.” 

They crossed the road, as they reached the other side Luke turned to Craig and smiled.  He nervously placed his hands in his pockets.  The air was cold as the warm breath from both men was illuminated by the dim streetlights. 

“I had a fantastic starter.  Best ever in fact.  I started the main course but never got to finish it.”  Luke began to shake slightly.

 

Craig looked at the young man extremely confused and irritated.  He began, only to humour Luke.  In a way it was to make this moment last just that little bit longer. “Why didn’t you finish?  Didn’t you like it?” Craig paused for a second.  “What are you talking about Luke, I know there aren’t any Welsh restaurants around here.  Please I’m tired…”

 

“Gina!" Luke eagerly interrupted.

 

“What?” Barked Craig.

 

“Gina.  She interrupted my main course,”  Luke quipped.  Craig shook his head; he was too tired to comprehend any of this. 

 

“Come here.” 

Luke pulled Craig forward by his lapel into a side alleyway and pressed his body full against him.  “I want my main course.  And I expect desert,”  Luke smiled.  Craig attempted, weakly, to push Luke away but his heart didn’t want Luke ever to leave but he was playing a dangerous game.  Luke placed his index finger over Craig’s lips as he tried to speak. 

 

“Do you remember when I kissed you in your office?”

 

“Yes,” whispered Craig through trapped lips.

 

“Well that was the starter.  My stag night was the beginning of the main meal.  But we never got to finish it did we?”  Craig slowly shook his head.  “This time I want to finish my meal and I certainly want desert.  Do you hear?”

 

Craig was almost gasping for air.  The change in Luke was so arousing yet frightening.  Craig could feel his entire body shaking. 

“Luke,” breathed Craig.  “Why are you doing this? I can’t play your games anymore.  This is my first day back and you are driving me crazy already.” 

Luke didn’t answer; he thrust himself forward into a passionate hungry kiss. Forcing his tongue into his sergeant’s mouth.  The kiss was reciprocated with just as much enthusiasm.

 

“I want you.  I’m not playing games.  This is real, I want to…be with you.”

He kissed Craig again.  “What’s wrong lost your appetite?”  Luke asked sexily between kisses.

 

“I could be persuaded to have a nibble.” 

At which Craig pushed Luke against the opposite wall and kissed him with all the pent up frustration he possessed.  Luke slid his hand down, unzipped Craig’s zipper and grasped his full manliness.  Craig groaned with pleasure. 

“Luke stop we will be seen.”  Quickly removing Luke’s hand.

 

“Well then Sergeant Gilmore.  You better take me to yours,” grinned Luke.  “And I will show you how hungry I am.” 

Luke gazed into Craig’s eyes.  The older man’s chest was heaving up and down.  “We’ll have to get a taxi,” breathed Craig.

 

 “I have my car over there.” Luke pointed.

 

“But Luke you’ve been drinking.  You’ll be over the limit,” protested Craig.

 

“Craig I’ve been sat drinking shandy all night.  Why do you think the lads were taking the mick about being under the thumb?”

 

“I wasn’t paying much attention,” Craig truthfully replied.  “So Luke Ashton you purposely aimed to seduce me tonight?”

 

Luke grinned, “I wanted to be sober this time.  I want to feel the true sensation of Sergeant Gilmore at his best.”  Luke softly kissed Craig.  “I’ve dreamt of this moment from the minute I laid eyes on you.  Just never thought it would actually happen.  Come on.” 

Luke jogged across the road towards the direction of his car, eagerly pulling Craig along by his sleeve.

 

“Get in,” ordered Luke.  The older man did as instructed.  As they drove to Craig’s house both men sat in silence.  Neither dare speak.  Craig sat fidgeting in his seat, his heart racing.  The intensity at which the adrenalin was pumping through his body appeared to be making him breathless.

 

As Luke stopped at the traffic lights Craig swallowed hard and dared to ask, “Are you sure about this Luke? You don’t have to do this.”

 

Luke looked at the nervous man beside him. 

“I want to.  I’ve always wanted to.  There’s just one thing I don’t want to do.” 

Craig instantly feared the answer to his next question. 

 

“And what’s that Luke?” 

 

Luke moved his hand from the gear stick and took hold of Craig’s hand.  He leant over and kissed the back of his sergeant’s hand. 

“I don’t want to have to leave you in the morning,”  Luke smiled broadly.  Craig mirrored the smile.

 

A battle of conscience and desire was taking place inside Craig’s heart.  He’d wanted Luke for so long that it seemed insane to turn him down.  But could he cope with the rejection again once Luke was satisfied.  Craig looked at the anxious young man sat beside him, feelings rushed through his body reminding him just how much he loved him.

 

When they arrived at the house Craig slowly unlocked the door.  His hands were shaking.  Luke followed Craig into the house.  As Craig closed the door he turned and fixed Luke with his gorgeous stare.  “Luke we can’t do this,”  he mumbled.

 

“What? Why?” Luke gasped.  The disappointment and hurt evident in his eyes.

 

“Because…” Craig began.

 

“You don’t want me anymore?”  Luke stood agitated.

 

“No…”

 

“You don’t love me?”

 

“Luke…”

 

“It’s Ben isn’t it?”

 

“What?  Luke no.  I do want you. Let me explain,”  Craig said adamantly.

 

 Luke couldn’t contain his cravings any longer.  He lunged forward, pinning Craig to the door and kissed him with such passion Craig found himself struggling to breath.  Slowly Luke pulled away and gazed into Craig’s dark eyes.  “Love me Craig.  Please!”  Luke pleaded.  Craig pulled him into a passionate embrace.  Sense and reasoning had completely deserted the older man, as he tasted the young man’s sensuous lips.

 

Luke’s hands roamed aimlessly over Craig’s firm body.  Ashton wanted to touch every part of his sergeant.  He could feel Craig’s erection predominantly digging into him.  Luke couldn’t bare it any longer he had to feel Craig’s naked skin against his.  He rampantly pulled the other mans coat off, in turn Craig shrugged out of his own coat and in one tug pulled Luke’s coat off.

 

Luke pushed his tongue deeper into Gilmore’s mouth, the need to taste more of this man possessed Luke.  He slid his hands from Craig’s neck and proceeded to undo his shirt.  Every button he unfastened revealed more of Craig’s wonderful body. 

 

As the older man’s shirt fell to the floor, Craig, lost in the throes of passion, grabbed Luke’s upper arms and pushed him against the adjacent wall.  Luke groaned in pleasure as he grabbed Craig for another ravenous kiss.  Craig lifted Luke’s arms up and pulled off his jumper revealing the most heavenly body.  He held back and gazed at the young man gasping for air in front of him.  Craig reached out and brushed Luke’s cheek with his palm, he traced a pattern down his neck, over his heaving chest and teasingly circled his belly button.  As he approached the button of Luke’s jeans Luke pulled him in for another kiss.  Luke’s pace of kissing quickened as he felt the older man unbuttoning his jeans.  His breathing became more erratic the closer Craig came to releasing his trophy.

 

As Craig took hold of the young man fully in his hand, Luke gasped with delight.  Craig smiled provocatively at Luke.  Craig slowly moved his hand back and forth, covering Luke entirely.  He kissed and sucked on the younger man’s neck as Luke was unable to kiss his sergeant, his mind was in heaven.  He had never felt such sensation.  As Craig quickened his movement Luke’s breathing became more intense.  He felt the intense delight of orgasm taking over his body, his body succumbed to pleasure his moaning became louder before he screamed,  “Craig!”

 

Craig felt the warm bodily liquid of his lover spill into his hand.  Luke fell forward onto Craig’s shoulder, whispering into his ear, “That was amazing.  You are amazing!”

 

Craig smirked replying, “I haven’t finished with you yet, PC Ashton."

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 14**

 

Craig awoke with the happiest of hearts.  He smiled as the memory of being seduced by Luke entered his imagination.  Craig was overcome by a giddy sensation; he turned over to face the opposite direction, the place of where his lover lay.  He was met by the emptiness of his bed and suddenly the warmth he felt turned icy cold.  Again he lay in bed alone.  Luke had gone, it was like he existed only in a dream.

 

As Craig lay there paralysed from the pain he felt welling up inside, memories of the night poured into his head making this very moment even harder to bare.  As he lay listening to the thundering of his heart he could feel a lump in his throat. 

“I knew this would happen,” he whispered to himself through gritted teeth.  After such a perfect night Craig felt it impossible to feel so depressed and dejected, that really crying seemed his only escape.

 

Craig forced himself from the bed, pulled the covers straight and headed for the bathroom.  He fought tremendously hard against the urge to cry, he had wasted enough tears on Luke Ashton to last him a lifetime. 

 

Gilmore couldn’t decide whether what he felt was hurt from being used to satisfy Luke’s curiosity or the fact that yet again he had allowed himself to believe someone like Luke could actually love him.  He stared hard into the mirror and disliked the reflection.  “Why would he ever love you Craig? You’re nothing to him,” he angrily said to the reflection he was beginning to loathe.

 

The silence of the house only proved to illuminate the loneliness Craig felt.  Luke was like a drug to him, the high was exhilarating but coming down, the after shock was immense pain.  The more he attempted to resist Luke the more he felt drawn to him and against his better judgement he’d succumbed to Luke’s charm.

 

 Craig slowly dressed, as he left the bathroom he glanced back to the bed.  The imprint of Luke’s head was still on the pillow.  Again the urge to cry imposed on him.  He defeated it by slamming the door shut.  He wasn’t in the mood for any kind of breakfast so headed straight out of the door.

 

“Morning Sarge,” gleamed Robbie as he passed front desk.  “Sarge you OK?” she questioned.

 

Craig simply sighed with frustration, glared at her and proceeded to the changing rooms.  He could feel his temper surfacing, every item of clothing he took off and replaced only seemed to fuel his frustration.  He took a deep breath and headed towards his office.  As he opened the door he stood moulded to the spot.

 

“Morning sleepy-head!”  joked Luke as he stood from the sergeant’s chair.  “I tried waking you but you are one hell of a sleeper Craig.”  Luke’s smile quickly turned to a worried expression.  “Craig what’s wrong?”

“I…” gasped Craig.

 

“Did you get my note?” Luke asked eagerly.  Craig frowned and shook his head.

 

“I left it on the kitchen table,” Luke said quite puzzled.

 

“I didn’t have any breakfast.  So I never went into the kitchen.”

Craig began to feel immensely stupid for his earlier behaviour.  He blushed at his

over-reaction to the situation. 

 

“Tell me what’s wrong, Craig please.”

Luke stepped forward with an extreme look of anguish.  Luke bowed his head.

“Do you regret last night? Didn’t enjoy it?”

 

“Luke,” breathed Craig, slowly closing the door behind him. “It was the most amazing, enjoyable, fantastic night of my life,” he laughed.  Luke lifted his head and smiled at his lover.

 

“Really?” gasped Luke.

 

“Really!” replied Craig stepping forward, closing the distance between the two men.

 

“Then why the long face?”

 

Craig perched on his desk.  “I thought you’d run away again.  I assumed you regretted what had happened and decided to leave before I woke up,” he looked down at the floor, ashamed of himself for doubting Luke.

 

“No.  I said I had to leave you in the morning,” Luke replied honestly.  “I’ve been in the dog-house all morning, Kerry isn’t too pleased.”

He swallowed hard at the mention of her name.  He began to smile whispering,

“But you were worth it,” the young officer looked towards the door then stepped forward between Craig’s legs.  He softly brushed his lips across Craig’s.

“Can I see you again tonight?

 

Craig looked into Luke’s eyes.  How he loved those big brown eyes.  “Yes,” he brushed Luke’s cheek.

 

Luke smiled, took hold of Craig’s face in his hands and kissed him. 

“I promise to wake you up before I go this time, grumpy.”

 

Craig playfully punched him on the shoulder. 

“I think you better go now PC Ashton.” 

Luke laughed at his sergeant and went to leave the room. He leaned out of the door surveyed the corridor.

 

“I want a kiss before I leave,” demanded Luke

 

Craig walked towards him and generously kissed him.  “Will that do?” Craig asked smiling.

 

“Maybe till refs.”  Luke smiled and walked away, leaving a very aroused sergeant behind.

 

Craig sat in his office chair smiling to himself.  He looked at the pile of work he had in front of him and wondered how he was supposed to concentrate when all he could envision was Luke naked, at his mercy.  Even though Luke had been too nervous for penetrative sex the foreplay was absolutely amazing.  Just being able to hold Luke and kiss him was a dream come true.  Craig slowly replayed the events of the night before; he was so incredibly happy he felt quite drunk.  And tonight he got to feel that way all over again. 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 15**

 

As Luke walked to the canteen for dinner he was so happy he couldn’t control the smile plastered across his face.  As he thought of what Craig had done to him last night he smiled even more, and when he remembered the sensation he felt when Craig’s naked body was pressed against his he had to bring himself back to reality as the effect of daydreaming was quite visual in his trousers.

 

He walked into the canteen and stood in the queue oblivious to Tony and Gemma talking to him about Kerry and David.  All he could think about was tonight, touching and kissing Craig again.  Even if they didn’t have sex tonight being able to fall asleep in Craig’s arms was fantastic.

 

“Earth calling Luke!” joked Gemma.  “Late night was it?” she smiled knowingly at him.

 

“He’s been like that all morning,” smiled Tony.

 

“Someone got lucky last night did they?” interfered Des.

 

“Des please!” uttered Reg in disgust.  Des tutted in reply and frowned at Reg.

 

The other officers laughed at the expense of Luke who stood quite flustered and crimson in colour.

 

“It…” stammered Luke.

 

Craig walked proudly into the canteen and caught the sight of Luke blushing.  He suppressed the smile he so wanted to broadcast to Luke.

 

“Hiya sarge,” Gemma greeted Craig as he joined the queue.

 

“So come on Luke tell all,” Des proceeded.

 

“No!” gasped Luke.

 

“What’s this?” Craig asked quietly.

 

“Lukey-boy here has been in a dream world all day and we have put it down to a certain female officer he recently married,” joked Tony.

 

“He got lucky last night sarge,” Des stated bluntly.

 

“I think we should leave him alone now.  What goes on in the home is private and should stay that way,” Reg nobly stated.

 

Craig blushed slightly and cleared his throat. 

 

“Sorry sarge forgot you’re not into that sort of thing,” Des added cockily, smiling knowingly at the others.  Luke stopped smiling from the sarcastic comment.

 

“Not at all PC Taviner.  I enjoy sex as much as the next man.  It just never involves a woman.  Now if you will excuse me I have work to do.” Craig smiled and left the canteen quite proud of himself.

 

“Sick,” groaned Des as he went to sit down.

 

“Told you to leave it alone,” gleamed Reg.

 

Gemma, Tony and Luke stood sniggering at the annoyed expression of Taviner.

 

“That told him,” laughed Gemma.  “He’s alright is Craig, I like him.”

 

“Come on lets sit down,” uttered Tony.

 

“Won’t be a minute,” Luke said as he walked out of the canteen.

 

As Craig walked back to his office he revelled in the fact that he had reduced Luke to a dreamy state of mind.  Although the Sergeant in him knew his mind should be on the job the romantic in him smiled inwardly.

 

Luke ran through the corridor trying to catch up to Craig.  As he turned the corner to where he suspected Craig’s path would have been he caught sight of his beautiful lover.  “What a cute arse,” he thought to himself.  Craig was just going into the men’s toilets.  Luke held back as Craig walked in and the door slowly closed.

 

Luke looked up and down the corridor to see if anyone was heading in the same direction, the coast was clear.  He smiled deviously and walked towards the toilets.  He quietly opened the door.  As he peered around the door he saw Craig standing in front of the urinals relieving himself of morning coffee.  Luke smiled again and stealthily walked up behind him.  He checked that the toilets were totally empty before pursuing his task.  As Craig looked down to fasten his zipper Luke leapt forward and pinned him against the wall.

 

“Urgh!” groaned Craig as he hit the wall.

 

“You are under arrest Sergeant Gilmore,” Luke said rather formally taking Craig’s hands and holding them behind his back.

 

“Luke what are you doing?” snapped Craig

 

“You have the right to remain silent…” Luke began

 

“Luke!” Craig growled.

 

Luke pulled Craig from the wall and forcefully pushed him into one of the cubicles.  As he locked the door he turned Craig around and pinned him with a passionate kiss.

 

“What if some one walks in?” protested Craig.

 

“Then we stay quiet,” Luke smiled at his sergeant.

 

“This is madness.  If we are found…”

Luke forcing his tongue hungrily into his mouth interrupted Craig.  As Craig felt Luke press against him he could feel the younger man’s desire growing. 

 

“Luke not here!” Craig tried to protest but couldn’t resist kissing his lover.

 

“It’s not my fault you turn me on so much,” Luke smiled and put Craig’s hand where he most wanted it.

 

Craig moaned as the hardness of Luke only served to excite him more.  Luke looked into Craig’s eyes and fixed him with a wanting stare.  He slowly undid Craig’s zip and released his rather erect manhood.

 

Both men were startled as the door to the toilets was opened.  Craig panicked and quickly fastened his zipper.  Luke quickly and quietly stood on top of the toilet seat so that there weren’t two pairs of feet evident to the person outside.

 

As the man washed and left the toilets Craig glared at Luke, angrily opened the door and left the toilets without saying a word. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Luke uttered as the door closed.  He composed himself straightened his uniform before leaving the toilets.  Feeling quite deflated he walked back to the canteen. 

 

“PC Ashton may I have word please, in my office,” stormed Craig from the far end of the corridor nearest his office.

 

“But…” stammered Luke.

 

“Now!” snapped Craig.

 

The officers in the corridor passing Luke gave him a pitying look, as the tone in Craig’s voice was deathly.

 

Luke sighed lowered his head and walked towards Craig’s office.  Craig stood aside and signalled Luke to go in before him.  The office was dim as the lights weren’t on.  Craig slammed the door behind him.

 

“I’m…” Luke tried to apologise but was interrupted by Craig grabbing him into another strong kiss.

 

“Please don’t do that to me again,” grinned Craig as he pulled away. “To turn a bloke on like that and be interrupted half way through the job is a killer,” he laughed.

 

“Sorry,” laughed Luke.

 

“I’ve never been so scared in my life.  Who do you think it was?” Craig gasped.

 

“No idea.  Certainly not Gina,” Luke quipped.  Craig laughed loudly.

 

“Just wait until we are in private next time. Ok?” Craig begged

 

“I will promise to try,” smiled Luke.  The reaction of Craig was too much temptation not to try again.

 

Craig looked at him suspiciously.  The older man leant forward and kissed Luke on the lips again.

 

“Now go get your lunch PC Ashton,” ordered Craig.

 

“Yes Sergeant Gilmore,” joked Luke.  “See you tonight?”

 

“Better do.  You have a job to finish,” quipped Craig.

 

Luke walked back to the canteen even happier.  He sat down next to Tony.

 

“See this is what it is like,” joked Tony, pointing sideways to Luke.

 

“What?” gasped Luke.  Tony laughed and shook his head.

 

“All I can say is that I’m happy and in love,” Luke beamed.  He was quite proud he could admit to them he was in love with Craig even though he knew they assumed it was Kerry he was talking about.

 

All of the officers sniggered with the exception of Reg who stood up abruptly. 

“Des I think we should get back out there.” He glared at Luke.

 

“But I haven’t finished me dinner,” protested Des.

 

“Well I will wait for you outside then.” At the he stormed away.

 

“What’s up with him?” questioned Luke.

 

“Needs a woman’s touch,” Des winked, shoved the rest of his dinner in his mouth and followed Reg.

 

“Maybe we should be heading off as well,” Luke uttered still smiling.

 

“Sure,” replied Tony sipping the last of his coffee.

 

“Wonder what’s up with Reg?” queried Luke as he and Tony walked through the station.

 

“You know what Reg is like.”

 

Luke laughed and continued out to the area car.

 

“Regie-babe what’s up?” questioned Des as they got into the car.

 

“Nothing,” Reg replied adamantly

 

“Come on, tell me.  Some things up,” Des argued back.

 

“I have to speak to Sergeant Gilmore.  I won’t be a minute,” At that Reg quickly got out of the car and ran back towards the station door.  Passing Luke and Tony on the slope to the entrance.  Both officers looked puzzled at Des who stood with his hands folded on the roof of the car with his chin resting on them.

 

“What’s up with Reg?” questioned Tony.

 

“Gone to see Gilmore for something,” replied Des unenthusiastically.

 

“What for?” asked Luke

 

Des shrugged his shoulders.  “Something has been on his mind since refs, didn’t you see him?”

 

“When?” Luke replied confused.

 

“At refs, he went to bog just after you went out of canteen.  He came back in a right mood.  Has queer boy had a go at him?” questioned Des angrily.

 

Luke swallowed hard and the smile he had been wearing all morning soon disappeared. “I…I didn’t see anything” stammered Luke.  He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks.  Does Reg know? He thought to himself.  Panic filled his body as he realised that the person who came in the toilets must have been Reg.  Luke suddenly felt sick with worry.

 

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 16**

 

Craig and Gina were enjoying idle banter in his office whilst Craig filed his last pieces of paper work.  A rather loud knock came at the door startling both Gina and Craig.  Gina walked towards the door and opened it cautiously.

 

“PC Hollis.  Into destroying property now are we?” she asked sarcastically.

 

“Ma’am,” replied Reg with a very confused look on his face.

 

“The door,” she nodded.  “You nearly hammered it down.  Is there a problem?” she looked at him accusingly.

 

“Just wanted a word with Sergeant Gilmore ma’am,” replied Reg nervously.

 

She opened the door and signalled for Reg to enter the room.  Craig stood looking at Reg suspiciously.  Hollis turned and looked at Gina hoping for her to go.

 

“Yes Reg what can I do for you.”

 

“Sarge…it’s kind of…private actually,” mumbled Reg.

 

Gina mocked her surprise, uttered her apologies and closed the door behind her.

 

“Ok,” breathed Craig.

 

“Sarge I don’t know how to say this but…,” Reg paused and looked at Craig nervously.  Craig frowned at him.

 

“I think I witnessed something between two officers today that I shouldn’t have,” he began.  “And I don’t know what to do,” he stopped and looked for Craig’s reaction.

 

Craig swallowed. “Is it a matter that needs reporting?” questioned Craig.  He wasn’t paying particular attention to the other officer.

 

“Well I don’t know, sarge you see…”

 

“Well what did you witness?” snapped Gilmore.  His patience was wearing a little thin with Reg’s stammering.

 

“Sarge this is kind of embarrassing to say the least. It is a private matter between them and I shouldn’t have witnessed it but I did.”

 

Craig let out a frustrated sigh. “Well which two officers does it involve?  I don’t really have the time to be…” Reg interrupted Craig.

 

“You and PC Ashton,” Reg blurted out. 

 

Craig glared at the other officer trying to believe what he had just heard.  He could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment.  He started to fidget with papers on his desk to hide his humiliation.

 

“Sarge I will keep quiet.  I won’t say a word about this I had no idea you and Luke, were, well.  He’s married to Kerry.”  Reg fumbled with the words he was trying hard to come to terms with the situation but it was hard as Craig didn’t speak he simply looked at the papers on his desk as if Reg wasn’t there. “Sarge how long has this been going on?”

 

Craig looked up guiltily at Reg.  “What did you see?” the sergeant stammered.  The first time in his life he had been caught in the act, it was mortifying and especially at work.

 

“Nothing.  I came into the toilets and I knew there was more than one person in there from the noises in the cubicle,” Hollis mumbled. “So I waited outside to see who it was.  You obviously didn’t see me when you came charging out.  Then Luke slowly followed.  You looked annoyed and he looked guilty, I could sense that much.” Reg looked to the floor in embarrassment.  “Sarge I wouldn’t have suspected anything if you weren’t locked in a cubicle…together.”

 

“This isn’t any of your business,” Craig furiously replied.  Gilmore rubbed his forehead with his hand.  ‘this isn’t happening’ he thought to himself.

 

“With respect sarge, you sort of made it my business,” Reg replied cautiously. 

 

Craig took a deep breath and sat down.  “Have you said anything to Luke?” he questioned.

 

“No.  I had to speak to you first.  Sarge not to get all moralistic on you but what were you thinking, you are his superior officer and he is married to another officer.  I would have expected this from Matt, god rest his soul, but not you,” gasped Reg.

 

“Why do you all seem to think this is my fault?” Craig questioned angrily. Putting his head to one side.  “You know you must all think that I am here to turn all the straight blokes gay well let me tell you it doesn’t work like that.  I haven’t forced myself upon Luke Ashton, I haven’t made advances either…,” Craig paused as he noticed the astonished look on Reg’s face.  “I told him not to get married.”

 

Reg looked even more amazed. “You mean this was going on before he and Kerry got married?” Reg looked at Craig with disgust.

 

Craig nodded.  He could feel the blush coming back into his cheeks.  He began to feel extremely insecure as in his mind he knew that if he and Luke ever did admit the truth about their relationship, that people would automatically think it was all Craig’s fault.  That he used his position and took advantage of a young officer.  People would point the finger and say it was him that destroyed Kerry’s life and that was the last thing he ever intended. Craig truly liked Kerry and hurting her was never his intention, he solely blamed Luke’s cowardice for that. 

 

This gossip would travel with him wherever he went.  He never usually listened or reacted to what people thought of his sexuality but this would interfere with his job and they have always been kept separate.  Private life – and work are always kept separate he repeated to himself.  Craig had prided himself on keeping his personal life private and free of speculation and now he felt as though he totally lost control of his life.

 

“Are you going say anything to the other about this?” questioned Craig.

“It’s not really my place sarge to gossip.  All I ask is that you consider Kerry and David.  If it weren’t me that had caught you, say Des or Nick had caught you, it would have been all over the station by now.  Maybe it’s time she was told by Luke.” Reg looked at Craig knowingly and turned to leave his office.

 

Craig sat in his office with a terrible ache in his heart.  He knew once Luke found out that Reg knew about them he would panic and run from the truth yet again.  Craig suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of losing his lover again and reliving the pain.  The sergeant mentally scolded himself for believing they had a future together, he knew that Luke was scared to admit he was gay Craig could understand and relate to that and help Luke through it.  What he couldn’t help Luke through was having to leave his child.  Luke would never live with himself if he left David, so Craig knew he had to be the one left behind.

 

His entire body went into overdrive.  All of his emotions were fighting to get to the surface and he desperately tried suppressing them all at once.  Craig felt the lump in the back of his throat increasing and no matter how hard he tried not to think of the situation it just made him feel worse.  He felt his throat tightening with locked emotion and his eyes stung with unshed tears.  Craig clenched his fists in defiance to the tears; he refused to cry at work.  ‘Why am I not immune to the pain yet,’ he asked himself.  He had endured months of what felt like torture why couldn’t he get used to it?  He took a deep breath and decided to wait until he saw Luke.

 

 In the area car Luke sat very quietly contemplating what Reg could possibly want to see Craig for and what had upset him so much at lunch.  An awful sickening feeling lay at he pit of his stomach, he knew that the officer that had entered the toilets had to have been Reg.  But why go straight to Craig? He thought, why not talk to me first?  His mind played games with him all afternoon.  Fear raced through his body as the acknowledgement of another work colleague knowing about him and his sergeant hit home.  Someone other than Gina will be casting an ever-watchful eye over the pair of them.  And if it was Reg would he tell Des?  Luke imagined getting back to the station and everyone being there talking about him.  The thought of having to face people once they knew he was gay terrified him, he knew that if he and Craig were to make a go of things that he would have to admit his sexuality but having it broadcasted for him was horrifying.

 

The one person that needed to know was Kerry, he had to tell Kerry before it became station gossip.  Out of everyone he dreaded telling her the most.  She deserved to be told the truth and hear it from Luke he owed her that much.  He tightly closed his eyes as he imagined her reaction when he told her about Craig, he knew she would be devastated and even more so because she adored Craig.  Then Luke thought about his responsibilities as a father, how this would affect David. 

 

The young PC’s mind went around in circles thinking of a way for the situation to end happily for him and Kerry, but he arrived at the same conclusion every time, he loved Craig and couldn’t stand to be without him.  The thought of losing Craig terrified him more than having to tell a room full of his closest friends and workmates of his relationship with Gilmore. 

 

“Luke you ok? You’re a bit quiet,” questioned Tony.

 

“What? Oh…er..yes, just got a headache,” stammered Luke.  He looked over to Tony with a guilty expression.  Would Tony be disgusted with me?  he thought to himself.  Once Luke began to think of his friends deserting him he declined into denial again and attempted convincing himself he and Kerry would work.  But as always the factor remained that he loved Craig far too much to deny it any longer. 

 

Luke’s mobile started ringing startling him back to reality.  He looked at the front, it was Kerry.  His heart started pounding with the guilt inside.  ‘Had Reg already told her?’ he thought to himself.

 

“You going to answer that?” interrupted Tony impatiently.

 

Luke looked across to Tony and guiltily answered the phone.

 

“Hello,” Luke uttered slowly.

 

“Luke it’s me.  Just ringing to tell you not to make any plans for tonight,” beamed Kerry.

 

“What? Why?” gasped Luke, dreading the answer.

 

“I’ve got a surprise for you when you get home,” she laughed.

 

“What kind of surprise?” questioned Luke nervously.  Tony laughed.

 

“You will have to wait and see.  Come straight home from work.  David is staying with Robbie for the night,” at that she put the phone down.

 

“Kerry…,” stammered Luke before realising she had hung up.  She was extremely cheerful making Luke feel even worse.  Tonight may be his opportunity to tell her about Craig.  They were going to be alone and able to discuss things properly. 

 

“Lucky fella,” joked Tony. Looking across to the young officer. “Why the long face?” questioned Tony on noticing Luke’s discontented expression.

 

“It’s nothing Tony,” muttered Luke sadly.

 

“Come on,” proceeded Tony.

 

“It’s alright really.  Just leave it,” argued Luke more adamantly.

 

“I don’t get you Luke.  You have a beautiful wife and kid and you're sat here as miserable as sin.  You’ve got a lot to learn Lukey-boy.”

 

Luke simply sat looking out of the window dreading the night he had to face.  Kerry seemed so happy on the phone and Luke was going to destroy that.  He reassured himself that it would all work out in the end that it would be better all round if he admitted his true feelings.

 

Tony suggested that they return to the station as the shift was nearly over and they could file their last report before clocking off.  As they reached the station Luke felt sick with nerves as he knew it wasn’t long before his showdown with Kerry.  Suddenly it hit him that he had to tell Craig that he couldn’t make it tonight, and the reason why.  Luke’s nerves subsided at the thought of making Craig happy.  He imagined the smile on Craig’s face.  The smile he had been wearing earlier in the day returned and again he felt safe knowing Craig would be there at the end of the nightmare waiting for him.

 

Luke rushed through the station in the direction of Craig’s office.  When he arrived he found a dark empty office.  He entered the room and quickly scribbled Craig a note:

 

“Cannot make it tonight.  But I do have a good reason.  Explain tomorrow.  Love you”

 

He smiled as he wrote ‘love you’.  He stuck the note to the keyboard and left the office.

 

“PC Ashton!  Looking for something,” growled Gina as she spotted Luke leaving Craig’s office.

 

“Ma’am I…was…looking for Sergeant Gilmore,” stammered Luke nervously. 

 

“Obviously,” she replied sarcastically, coughing violently.

 

“Are you ok ma’am?” questioned Luke sympathetically.

 

“Do I sound alright?” snapped Gina.  She looked at Luke’s hurt expression.  “Yes I’m ok.  I will be better when this damn cough goes,” she softened.

 

“I thought you were on sick leave ma’am.”

 

“I am supposed to be.  My final day is Friday, the super has _ordered_ me to stay away from the station,” she let out a sign of annoyance.

 

“Hope you get better soon ma’am,” Luke said as he tried passing her.

 

“Oi,oi,oi,” she said putting her arm out and stopping him. “Where do you think you are going?” she asked.

 

“Home ma’am,” Luke replied innocently.

 

“Why were you looking for our dear Craig,” she questioned with a note of cynicism in her voice.

 

Luke panicked he didn’t have a ready answer for that.  Gina glared at him with an accusing expression.  Putting her arm in Luke’s arm she walked him to the end of the corridor like a lost child.

 

“I suggest PC Ashton that you go home to your wife and child and continue to play happy families.  I’m getting a little bit sick of the messes you like to create for Sergeant Gilmore.  I am ordering you to stay away from him do you hear.  Now go home,” she ordered.

 

Luke could feel the anger welling inside of him.  Part of him blamed Gina for the situation.  He obviously accepted majority of the blame but she had interfered where it wasn’t wanted.  At times she had parted Craig from him for no reason other than to uphold serenity in the workplace.

 

Luke walked towards his car and noticed Craig’s car had already gone. 

 

“Nick, you seen Gilmore?” shouted Luke

 

“Went home about half-hour ago,” replied Nick.

 

Luke sat in his car and realised Craig will not have received his note.  He got his mobile out of his pocket and rang Craig’s house.  No answer.  Luke decided that rather than leave a message he would go see Craig on his way home.  It was a little out of his way but in his mind Craig was worth it.  He was apprehensive about telling Kerry but at the same time relieved that finally he could be with his lover.

 

Craig arrived home with three heavy carrier bags of shopping.  Luke hadn’t said whether he would be staying for something to eat, but Craig thought it courteous to provide something just in case, so he had bought extra.  He had also bought three bottles of wine, the wine was mainly to settle his nerves.  Even though Luke and he had been intimate on previous occasions, it had been spontaneous and unexpected.  This time it was a pre-arranged date.  Due to the way Craig felt about Luke he was extremely nervous about tonight.  Luke meant the world to him and tonight had to be perfect.

 

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 17**

 

 

Craig busied himself in the kitchen chopping vegetables and cooking sauces on the cooker.  He whistled along to different songs that played on the radio.  In his heart he felt truly happy.  Even though earlier in the day he had decided that there wasn’t going to be a future for him and Luke, he had reasoned with himself that if Luke loved him the way he said he did, this relationship was worth fighting for.  Luke alone was worth fighting for. 

 

Craig smile broadly at his faint reflection in the window, he couldn’t contain his happiness.  He heard a knock at the front door.  He wiped his hands and checked his watch.  He frowned and whispered to himself ‘it cannot be Luke at this time’.

 

Gilmore opened the door and there he stood smiling broadly, gleaming with happiness.  Luke looked as nervous as Craig felt but at the same time as happy as Craig felt.  Craig smiled.  Both men stood gazing into each other’s eyes before Craig broke the silence.

 

“Come in I didn’t expect you so soon,” the older man said as he closed the door behind Luke.

 

“I’m not staying.  And to be honest Craig I can’t see me coming back, not tonight anyway,” Luke said flatly as he gazed around the room.  Luke did not realise the harshness of his words and how deeply they affected his lover.

 

Craig’s smile rapidly disappeared. Luke turned to look at his lover.  Luke smiled and walked towards the unhappy older man and put his arms around his waist, once he realised how misinterpreted he had been.  Craig stood with his arms down by his sides feeling extremely disheartened.

 

Luke stretched up to his full height and softly kissed Craig’s uncooperative lips.

 

“I can’t do this anymore Craig.  I’m hurting too many people by this.”  Craig took Luke’s arms away from his body and walked toward the window.  He stood hands on hips and stared out onto the street with his back to Luke so that the younger man couldn’t see the tears welling in his eyes.  Luke stayed where he was as to say what he wanted to say he needed his personal space.

 

“Reg knows doesn’t he?” asked Luke softly.  Craig nodded in reply.  “I’ve got to do what is right, for all of us.  I don’t want to hurt Kerry or you.” Luke swallowed hard.  He could feel himself wanting to cry.  Craig let his head droop forward.  He felt like he couldn’t speak for the pain.

 

“But I can’t go on like this, I can’t it’s killing me.  Craig I’ve made a decision.”  Luke bit his lip as it started to tremble.

 

“Oh God,” whispered Craig tightly closing his eyes.

 

“I love my son and no matter what, I have an obligation to be there for him.  But to be a good father I have to be happy.  And with the situation as it is at present I can’t be happy.  Craig you are the only person that can make me happy.  You are the only person I feel I can be myself with.  I love you Craig Gilmore, and I have never loved anyone the way I love you.” Luke beamed with such honesty that he even shocked himself.

 

Craig turned around to look at Luke.  The younger man gazed into Craig’s dark eyes.  “I can’t be happy without you Craig so I’m going to go home and tell Kerry the truth.”  Luke’s eyes were glazed over with tears.

 

“You really mean that?” questioned Craig astonished by Luke’s manner.

 

Luke nodded in response.

 

“Are you sure about this Luke?”  Craig was shocked and couldn’t understand the strong transformation.

 

“No.  The only thing I am sure of is that I want to be with you and if that means I have to be honest with Kerry then so be it.”  Nerves were present as Luke spoke.

 

Craig smiled and stepped forward to take Luke in his arms “I thought you would finish with me once you knew Reg knew,” smiled Craig as he kissed the top of Luke’s head.

 

“Reg is the reason I am telling Kerry.  If I am honest I did think about ending it, but you were right all along I was living a lie.  If loving you means I am gay then I am gay and I have to tell Kerry before anyone else does.” choked Luke.

 

“What will you say?” asked Craig cautiously.

 

“I don’t know…” The phone ringing interrupted Luke.

 

Craig let out a loud sigh.  “Excuse me a minute,” Craig said frustrated at the interruption.

 

“Hello Craig speaking,” he beamed down the phone.  He looked at Luke and smiled.

 

“Craig, it’s me,” sounded a very disheartened voice.

 

“Sophie,” gleamed Craig joyfully.  “Do you mind if I call you back I’m a little busy at the moment?”

 

“No I have to speak to you now,” choked Sophie.

 

“Sophie are you alright?” questioned Craig with a look of concern of his face.

 

“Craig can you come home?” she asked

 

“What?” questioned Craig surprised at the suggestion.

 

 “I have some bad news and I didn’t really want to have to say this over the phone,” she choked, tears were invading her voice.

 

“Sophie are you ok? Please tell me” Craig was beginning to feel a little panicked.

 

“Craig…” she sobbed.  Her voice broke into loud sobs over the phone.

 

“Sophie what has happened?”

 

“It’s dad,” she sobbed.

 

A bolt of panic hit Craig.  He closed his eyes to ask the next question.  “Please Sophie.  Tell me what has happened.  Is dad Ok?” he pleaded.

 

“I really didn’t want to tell you this over the phone.  Craig, dad died this morning.” She began to cry more uncontrollably.

 

Craig froze for a moment, his entire body went numb.  An eerie silence filled the room making Luke step forward.  He placed his hand on Craig’s back.  And mouthed to Craig ‘what’s wrong’.  Luke could see from the look on Craig’s face something terrible had happened.

 

Sophie gathered herself.  “Craig are you still there?” she asked

 

Craig nodded.

 

“Craig!” she bellowed.

 

“Yes I’m still here.  How did it happen?” questioned Craig gathering himself.

 

“He had a major heart attack.  We were told nothing could be done.  He must have known something was wrong, he just never told us about it.  You know what he is like?” she let out a faint teary chuckle. “He must have known he was going to…die…because he told mum in the ambulance to tell us he loved us and that he was so… proud…of…us and that he wanted us…to…be…happy…” Sophie again broke into tears.  The short sharp intakes of breath suggested to Craig that she had been crying for quite a long time.

 

Craig began to shake uncontrollably as the realisation of the loss of his father began to sink in.  Silently he placed the hand set back onto the receiver.  Slowly he let his body fall to the kneeling position.  Luke looked down at him with a concerned but confused expression. Luke knelt beside Craig as he placed his head in his hands.  Craig started to shake his head as if defying the tears to start.  The phone started ringing again.

 

Luke slowly picked it up as Craig made no attempt to. “Hello?”

 

“Who’s that?” questioned Sophie.

 

“Luke.”

 

“Luke it’s Sophie.  Is Craig alright?  He just put the phone down,”  her breathing was erratic as if to suggest she was trying her hardest to control the sobbing.

 

“Not really what’s wrong?” Luke knew that Craig was in too much of a state to talk.  Never had he seen Craig so vulnerable.

 

“Our dad has died.  Will you look after him for me, he will need you?” she asked

 

“Yes no problem.  Bye Sophie and I’m so sorry for your loss,” Luke’s voice was soft and caring making her cry even more.  It also made the strong man at his feet break into tears.

 

Luke put the phone down and knelt beside Craig.  He put his arm around his shoulders and started to rub soothingly.  Craig slowly started to unleash the hurt he felt.  Luke turned to him cupped Craig’s face in his hands and looked into his sergeant's tear filled eyes.

 

“My dad has died,” muffled Craig.

 

“I know,” replied Luke sympathetically.  Rubbing the tears away from Craig’s cheeks.

 

“He’s dead…” repeated Craig.

 

“Come here,” Luke replied taking Craig into his arms and tightly holding him to his body.  Craig’s sobs became louder and less controlled.   Luke could sense the pain coming from within Craig.

 

Luke manoeuvred them to the wall and sat, leaning against the wall as Craig hung to him for dear life.  The tall strong man that Luke knew had suddenly been reduced to a child like figure who needed nothing but love and support.  Craig was so heartbroken that Luke felt as though he wanted to cry for him to ease the pain.  Luke pulled Craig into him tighter; he rocked him like a child, as he had done with David when he was unsettled.  Luke could feel his shirt moistening with the unstoppable tears from his lover.  Luke felt useless, as all he could do was hold tighter to Craig, he couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him to try and ease the pain.

 

An hour passed and Craig began to come round, his cries had stopped and he was beginning to move from the grip of Luke.  He sat up straight and wiped his eyes and nose.  He still sniffled from the long time crying.  Luke mentally scolded himself for finding Craig even more attractive.  Craig sat staring at the opposite wall. 

 

“Sorry about that,” uttered Craig.  He began to blush with the thought of breaking down in front of Luke. The younger man looked at him and smiled at the reddened eyes and puffed up cheeks.  He was so adorable and it only served to make Luke love him more.

 

“I’m glad I was here for you,” smiled Luke.  He softly brushed the side of Craig’s reddened cheeks.  “I’ll always be here for you.” Luke kissed Craig’s cheek.

 

Craig smiled and let out a long sigh as he sat against the wall with Luke.  Silently Luke stood and went to get Craig a whisky.  He came back passed it to Craig and sat beside him again.  Luke looked at Craig’s hand shaking as it rest on his knee, he put his hand over the top of it and held it tight.

 

Craig’s breathing was heavy and they both sat in silence for a while.

 

“I will have to go to my parents.  I will have to check mum and Sophie are ok.  I assume the funeral will be pretty soon as well so that will need arranging,” Craig said getting off of the floor.

 

Luke looked at his suspiciously.  Craig had gathered himself too quickly for his liking, he didn’t believe he was stable enough to drive down to Wales on his own.

 

“You can’t drive in that state,” gasped Luke. “Besides you’ve had a drink.”

 

“I have to go.  I have to go now, I can’t stand trains so I will have to drive down,” Craig stated adamantly.

 

“No you won’t,” stated Luke defiantly.  Craig looked at Luke furiously.  “If you want to go and have to go now then I am driving you.” He glared at Craig daring him to argue.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” laughed Craig.

 

“I am taking you and that is final,” stated Luke even more sternly.

 

“How will you explain that to Kerry or Gina for that matter of fact?  You cannot take time off to accompany me to Wales,” Craig replied.

 

“Yes I can and I will.  I am not letting you go to Wales alone.  I will tell Gina I am ill.  I will tell Kerry the truth, that I am taking you to Wales because you are unfit to drive.  Whether or not I end up on report or not, or whether Kerry suspects something I don’t care.  You are NOT driving to Wales alone!”

 

Craig stood bemused by the determination of Luke.  Craig knew he wasn’t going to win this argument and in his heart he didn’t want to.  It would be great to have Luke with him.  He just didn’t want to get Luke into trouble.

 

Craig picked up the phone and rang Gina.

 

“Gina it’s Craig.”

 

“Hello there Sergeant Gilmore.  What can I do for you?” she asked.

 

“I won’t be in for the next few days.  I have just had a phone call from my sister.  My dad died this morning and I have to go to Wales.”  It was painful just having to say his father had died.

 

“Oh Craig I am so sorry are you alright?  Give my condolences to your mother and sister.  The time off is not a problem, take as long as you like.  How are you getting down there?” she asked with such concern in her voice.  She knew this would have affected Craig in many ways as he was from a close family and loved his father very much.

 

“I’m going in the car,” he replied honestly.

 

“What?” she gasped making herself cough violently.  “Craig I forbid you to drive.  You cannot go all that way alone especially in a state of shock you’ll end up killing yourself.” Her voice was intimidating.  “Can’t someone take you?  Are you alone?” she queried.

 

“No ma’am I have company,” he regretted saying that as soon as it was out as he knew her next question.

 

“Well who is it can’t they take you?” she snapped

“Gina it’s Luke,” he breathed expecting her to shout at him for being stupid and ignoring her advice.

 

He heard her let out a long sigh and light up a cigarette.  He heard her exhale the smoke.  “Is he prepared to take you?” she asked with frustration in her voice.

 

“He has offered Gina, yes,” Craig replied with as much frustration in his voice.

 

“Thought as much,” she replied sarcastically

 

“Gina…”

 

“Tell Luke Ashton I want a word.”

 

“Gina…”

 

“Now god damn it!” she ordered.

 

“Luke Gina wants to speak to you,” Craig said passing the phone to a nervous looking Luke.

 

“Ma’am,” said Luke apprehensively.

 

“PC Ashton do you ever do as you are told?” she asked sarcastically referring to the earlier incident in the day. “Seeing as you are there with Craig and I cannot allow him to drive to Wales alone in that state and you are more than willing to be with him.  I am going to give you the option of taking sick leave to take him down there.  I will not say why you are off work that is up to you.  But hear me you better make it alright with Kerry before you go.  I am doing this for Craig not you do you hear?  I want you back at this station in three days do you hear me Luke Ashton?  If you are a second late back on duty I will have no option but to inform the Super of your insolence,” she stated adamantly.

 

“Ma’am, I will.  Thank you,” Luke replied weakly swallowing hard against the fear.

 

Craig looked at Luke with a confused expression.

 

“Right PC Ashton take care of him and I will  speak to you when you get back.”  At that she forcefully put the phone down.

 

Luke slowly placed the phone down and looked at Craig.  “She said I can take you,” he smiled.

 

“Really?” gasped Craig.

 

“All I have to do is tell Kerry where I am going,” he breathed anxiously.  He walked over to Craig and cuddled him.  “I get to be with you for three whole days,” grinned Luke into Craig’s chest.

 

“Thank you for doing this Luke.  It means a lot to me.”  At that Craig released Luke and went to pack an overnight bag.

 

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 18**

 

The drive to Swansea was a long one; Luke was absolutely shattered when they pulled into Craig’s parent’s drive.  Craig had continuously offered to drive but Luke was determined to drive the entire way, he felt that Craig was not alert enough to be able to drive.  He had often looked over to check Craig was doing OK, and each time he was met with two beautiful dark eyes glazed with unshed tears.  Luke could see in Craig’s expression the loss he felt.  Luke felt totally useless as Craig’s eyes pleaded with him to make the pain disappear.

 

Luke pulled into the driveway of Craig’s family home as instructed and parked behind a grey estate car.  Craig silently got out of the car and stood staring at the house.  It was a large detached house with a large garden at the front.  The drive way seemed to go on forever before stopping before a double garage.  Luke was amazed simply by the size of the place.  ‘What a place to grow up in,’ he thought as he took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car.  The young officer looked out of the window over to his sergeant. Craig stood looking up at a small window of the house as if transfixed by what he saw.  Luke followed his gaze and saw a room with pale blue curtains and books across the window ledge.  Luke smiled and got out of the car.

 

“Is that your old room sarge?”  Luke asked with slight laughter in his voice.  It seemed strange to Luke to be in a place where Craig spent his childhood.  Strange to be in a place where Craig had laughed and played as a child before turning into ‘grumpy Gilmore’ as he was nicknamed back at the station.

 

“What?” snapped Craig as he looked at Luke.  He appeared startled by Luke’s words as if Ashton had broken the trance Craig was in.

 

Luke looked at Craig bemused and pointed slowly up to the window.  “Is that your old room?” he questioned nervously.

 

Craig again looked up to the window and whispered inaudibly.

 

“What?” asked Luke.  Leaning forward to catch what Craig was saying.

 

 Craig continued to stare up at the window. “It was my dad’s study.  Whenever I came home he would always be stood in that window waiting for me,” a faint smile washed over his mouth before descending into a frown of sadness.  “Luke he isn’t there,” Craig’s voice choked.  Luke could see from his shoulders moving up and down that he was breathing heavily to stop himself from breaking down and crying.  Luke had experienced Craig’s vulnerable side when Sophie had rang and informed him of his father’s death but Luke had a feeling that Craig was hurting more than he was allowing himself to show.

 

“Craig…,” Luke stepped forward to comfort Craig but was interrupted by someone running towards them.  Luke looked up and scowled at the intruder and Craig slowly lifted his head and smiled broadly.

 

“I’m so sorry,” whispered a voice as Craig was taken into a pair of strong arms and comforted.  Luke was instantly jealous as it made his efforts look feeble.  This guy was taller and broader than Craig and could take him into an embrace like Luke would take hold of David.  As the man released Craig from the comforting embrace he looked over to Luke who stood nervously with his hands in his pockets.

 

“Hi I’m Jack,” gleamed the man holding his hand out to shake Luke’s hand.  Luke looked at the man with contempt.

 

“Uncle Jack this is Luke,” Craig interrupted, noting Luke’s disapproving look.  Luke smiled and blushed slightly at his own behaviour.  He was surprised how jealous he could be of men around Craig whatever there intentions.

 

“Luke this is my dad’s brother, Jack,” Luke stepped forward smiled at the man and shook his hand.

 

“Pleased to meet you.  Sorry to hear about your brother,” added Luke compassionately.

 

“Thank you son.  You a friend then?” questioned Jack smiling knowingly at Luke who blushed crimson.

 

“Shall we go inside?” interrupted Craig eagerly to defuse the situation.  Luke looked at Craig shocked, again in front of his family he had denied Luke.  It had happened in the hospital now this, Luke couldn’t understand it.  Craig was so open back at Sun Hill and he had pestered Luke for months to try and get him to admit his sexuality to people and here Gilmore was hiding from the situation.

 

“Craig your mother is in a bit of a state I better warn you.  I don’t think she has got over the initial shock yet,” warned his uncle as he guided Craig up the driveway with his arm around his shoulder in a supporting manner.  Luke followed.

 

Luke walked into the house and again was amazed at the size of the place.  It appeared twice the size once inside the kitchen.  He gazed around the room with his mouth open, like a bewildered child.  The kitchen was fitted with wooden pine furniture; it reminded Luke of an old farmhouse cottage the way it was decorated.  And there was a homely smell to it that engrossed Luke; it felt such a safe place to live in that he immediately warmed to the place.  Luke followed Craig and Jack through the kitchen into the hallway to the house. 

 

“Do you mind waiting here Luke,” asked Craig as he was about to open a door to one of the rooms.  Luke looked at Craig hurt by the suggestion but then realised this may be a family matter that Luke wasn’t part of.  He understood that Craig may need some privacy with his family but it still hurt that he couldn’t be a comfort to Craig the way they could.  It also hurt that Luke wasn’t considered as part of Craig’s family.  Which considering that they had only just really began their relationship it wasn’t surprising but nether the less it still hurt Luke.

 

Luke gazed around the hallway and viewed the photographs upon the wall.  He giggled to himself when he saw a photograph of Craig, he must have only been about seventeen and was covered in mud.  It was a picture of him holding the winning cup from one of his rugby matches.  It amused Luke as his sergeant seemed so clean and tidy and here Luke was staring at a picture with Craig covered in mud from head to toe.  He continued to look over the family photos, they seemed to go on forever.  There was one of Craig and his dad, Sophie and Craig, and one of all the family.  Luke suddenly stopped at a photograph and scowled.  It was Ben in his cap and gown, it was obviously his graduation picture and it had taken a prided place amongst the family gallery and Luke disapproved.  He turned around disgusted at the photo.

 

The door clicked and Luke startled turned and face the door.  Slowly it opened and out came Craig with reddened eyes, shortly followed by Sophie who was still sniffling and wiping her eyes. 

 

“Craig you OK?” Luke said stepping forward to take Craig’s hand to comfort him.  Craig stopped him by holding up his palm in a gesture to tell Luke to back off.  Luke stopped in his tracks and swallowed hard against the sad feeling he got from being rejected.  Why couldn’t Craig let him comfort him, Luke wanted to be there for him.  He had battled with Gina for the privilege so that alone should prove something to Craig, but still Luke couldn’t help but feel unwanted.

 

The front door opened and Sophie wiped her eyes and went to investigate.  Both men could hear her laugh out and begin to cry at the same time.

 

“Oh god I’m so glad you came,” Luke and Craig heard her teary voice muffle from the kitchen.

 

Craig frowned and slowly walked into the kitchen followed by an inquisitive Luke.  Craig smiled broadly; Luke bit his bottom lip in frustration. 

 

“Ben,” muttered Luke between his gritted teeth.

 

Craig stepped forward.  Ben looked up at Craig and slowly let go of Sophie from their cuddle.  He stepped around an emotional Sophie and walked towards Craig.  Luke watched as the attraction between the two men unfolded right before his eyes, yet again.  It was like watching a scene from a film and suddenly all he wanted to do was cry as he suddenly understood that Craig didn’t want him there, he wanted Ben.  This man could be a comfort to Craig and more importantly Craig welcomed it unlike his reaction to Luke’s attempts.  Luke swallowed hard and put his head down as the man he loved was held by a man he felt extreme hatred towards.  Luke tightly closed his eyes, as the embrace seemed to last for a lifetime.

 

Someone softly holding his arm startled Luke.  He looked to his side and saw who he assumed was Craig’s mother smiling at him.  She was about Luke’s height with light silky light brown hair to her shoulders; she had the same colour eyes as Craig, beautiful dark brown. She leant in and whispered in his ear.

 

“It’s all one sided, trust me sweetheart,” Luke looked at her with a confused expression.  She nodded in the direction of Craig and Ben.

 

“No it isn’t,” muttered Luke. Fighting against his anger and upset.

 

“Ben you’re here,” gleamed Craig’s mother when she noticed Ben looking at her.  She reassuringly patted Luke on the arm and walked towards Ben who slowly let Craig go.

 

“Grace,” Ben said smiling and holding his arms out to take Grace into his arms.  Luke looked over to Craig.  Again Luke felt hurt as Craig stood staring contentedly at Ben.  Luke swallowed back the impending tears he could feel welling inside of him, he told himself this time it would be different, Craig wouldn’t kiss Ben not after last time or would he?  Serious doubt began to form in Luke’s head as he watched Craig.

 

“I am so sorry,” whispered Ben into Grace’s ear.

 

Craig looked across the kitchen to Luke and smiled at his lover.  Luke simply glared at him and put his head down.  Craig looked confused, scanned the others expression to see if they had witnessed Luke.  Craig took a deep breath and walked towards Luke.

 

“Shall we take our bags upstairs?” muttered Craig taking hold of his holdall and turning to walk up the hall.  “Where’s your bag?” asked Craig as he noticed Luke was following without anything.

 

“It’s…erm…it’s…it’s in the car,” stammered Luke.

 

“You didn’t go home did you?” questioned Craig with a note of annoyance in his voice.

 

Luke shook his head.  He slowly placed his hands in his pockets, and stood like a naughty school boy.

 

Craig sighed heavily. “I don’t believe this,” he grunted as he stormed up the first couple of stairs. “I said that you had to go home and explain to Kerry, and what about a change of clothes?”

 

“I thought I could borrow some of yours,” Luke replied jokingly. 

 

“My clothes won’t fit you,” snapped Craig. 

 

“I will be fine,” reassured Luke as he leaned forward to kiss his sergeant on the lips.  Craig quickly pulled away before Luke made contact.  Luke searched Craig’s eyes for reasoning.

 

“It was an order from Gina that you tell Kerry first.  She made it clear that you could come up here with me on condition you told your wife.  I can do without this Luke,” Craig stated very firmly.  “What about Kerry? What about David?  Don’t you think she is going to worry?  Do you think of no-one but yourself Luke?”

 

“What?” questioned Luke with tears in his chocolate brown eyes.  Craig stood staring at him.  “I came here for you,” Luke said softly, clearing his throat.   Luke stepped forward to hold Craig, just to take him in his arms and keep him close would make all this bitterness and sadness go away.  Luke just wanted to relieve Craig of his agony, but the sergeant was pushing the younger man further from him.  Again Luke’s attempts at comforting him were dismissed and Craig continued to ascend the stairs.

 

“Stop!” demanded Luke raising his voice, causing the others to pay attention. He shocked Craig at his powerful tone. “This has nothing at all to do with Kerry has it? Or me for that matter of fact.” questioned Luke through gritted teeth.

 

“What?” growled Craig with a confused expression.  He noted from the corner of his eye Ben walking their way.  “Come on,” ordered Craig walking up the stairs.  Luke turned around to see who was coming.  He scowled when he saw who it was. “Typical!” snapped Luke.

 

“Is everything ok?  Only I…,” questioned Ben innocently looking at Craig through the spindles in the staircase.

 

“And you would really want us to be OK wouldn’t you?” asked Luke sarcastically.

 

“Luke!” growled Craig from the top of the stairs.

 

Luke stomped up the stairs glaring at Ben at the bottom.  As Luke followed Craig into a bedroom the door slammed shut!

 

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 19**

 

Luke stood in the corner of the room holding onto the door handle for support.  His legs felt like jelly, his hands were sweaty and he could feel his entire body shaking.  In all his life Luke had never felt so scared.  He was petrified he was going to lose the one person he has ever truly loved through his own idiotic behaviour.  He wanted to speak, apologise and make everything all right again.  Luke opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.  Words raced around in his head, but none of them would co-operate and allow him to form a sensible sentence.  Luke swallowed hard anticipating this would be the day his world would fall apart.  The young officer had finally built up the courage to openly say to Craig that he loved him and finally admit to himself and his loved one that he was gay, and now his confidence crumbled.  Luke felt inadequate to love such a man like Craig.

 Craig stood arms folded staring out of the window with his back to Ashton.  His lips were tightly together and refused to utter a single word to Luke, he knew both of them were as stubborn as each other and that they wouldn’t get anywhere this way, and he had brought him up here to talk, he felt it is what they needed.  But here, in his parent’s house, didn’t feel right especially seeing as the reason they were here was to bury Craig’s father.  Inside he was bubbling with anger at Luke’s childish behaviour and wanted to discuss it in an adult manner but with Luke things were never that simple.  Craig knew that the argument would end up in Luke storming off and going back to London to be with Kerry and they would be back to square one.  Part of him wanted to unleash his anger, as it would not subside easily, but in doing so he feared losing Luke.  Other than Luke witnessing he and Ben kissing in the hospital Craig couldn’t think of a reason for Luke to hate Ben so much, he thought they had worked through the kiss and forgotten about it. 

“You just going to stand there?” snapped Luke stepping forward.  He attempted to hide his fear and upset and take the bull by the horns.

 Craig let out a rather long sigh and turned his head in the direction of Luke to fix him with a penetrating stare that made the young man step back.

 “Why are you here?” muttered Craig.  Shaking his head as he turned to look out of the window again.

 “To be with you!” gasped Luke looking at Craig with an hurt expression. “I thought…”

“You thought what?” barked Craig before Luke could finish, his anger had reached the point of no return. He turned his entire body to face Luke.  “You thought you would come here an cause an argument.  We have just lost my father Luke!  This isn’t about you! This doesn’t involve you.  It has absolutely nothing to do with you!  Is that what the problem is, you are not getting enough attention?  My family are very hurt, right now they don’t need this kind of childish bickering,” shouted Craig in the direction of Luke.  Who stood trying not to show how devastated he felt inside.

“Look I know you didn’t want me to come…,” stammered Luke in the best way he could without showing Craig his true emotions.  Luke just wanted to cry, he had had Craig tell him off at work before but this was different, Craig had hurt Luke in a way he never thought possible.  His eyes stung from unshed tears.

 “Then why did you?” snapped Craig.

 “Because as stupid as it may sound right now, I love you too much to let you go this alone.” Luke bit his bottom lip to fight the tears he could feel welling in his eyes.  “It hurts that you don’t want me here.  I have tried to comfort you but you don’t want me, it kills me Craig that you would rather be comforted by the others than let me come any where near you.” Luke hid his face from Craig as a single tear ran down his face.  Talking about the situation only illuminated his insecurities about Craig’s feeling towards him.

 “But…,” interrupted Craig but was overridden by Luke.

 “I admit I am a coward for not telling Kerry where I was going.  But do you want to know why I didn’t?” Luke said lifting his head up to look into Craig’s dark eyes.  Craig simply nodded, the honest and vulnerable state of Luke only personified his love for the young man and he was speechless.

 “Whenever I have to say anything to Kerry about you and I, it turns into an entirely different situation.  Even the simplest of things like telling her we worked together in CAD or on the custody desk makes me feel devious.  If I’d have told her I was coming up here with you it would have turned into an argument.  And not that I can’t handle an argument but it would have started the whole stupid thing of me denying there is an ‘us’ and that you are just my sergeant when clearly you’re not.  I would have ended up in the state of mind where I doubt, through fear, my feelings for you, and Craig I didn’t want that.  I wanted to be here as your partner to help you through this.  I was attempting to stop being selfish and be here one hundred percent for you.” Luke sat on the single bed to compose himself. 

Craig turned to look out of the window.  Tears started to trickle down his cheeks and he felt embarrassed at his actions towards Luke.  Luke sounded so sincere that Craig wanted to take him in his arms and hold onto him for the rest of his life.   

“She will worry when you don’t come home Luke,” muttered Craig.  He did like Kerry and he didn’t want her panicking that something had happened to him. He knew that if it were he in that position he would search the earth to find Luke.

 “She knows I won’t be home,” replied Luke bluntly.

 Even though Craig seems quite a confident and strong man on the outside, on the inside he is screaming to be loved like the rest of us.  He wants nothing other than to be loved truly by Luke.  From the first moment he saw Luke he knew in no uncertain terms he wanted him for the rest of his life and now he is here Craig feels lost and doubtful as to whether he will stay.  Losing him would destroy him but he knows at this moment he is pushing Luke further away. 

Even though Luke wanted nothing more than to look up into his lover's face and feel loved again he knew now wasn’t the right time to be demanding of Craig.  Luke twiddled with his hands nervously as he wished they were holding Craig’s face and his lips were fixed on Craig’s.  A strange feeling washed over Luke as he realised that at any moment Craig could throw him out of this house and never want to see him again after the way he acted.  Craig’s posture was cold towards Luke.  Each time Luke looked at Craig he turned his back on him as if not wanting to look at him where before Luke could have drowned is those dark eyes.  They generally surrounded him wherever he went and it made him feel safe.  Luke looked up at Craig who was stood with his back to him.  But Luke could see that Craig had his left hand up to his head, rubbing his forehead as he usually does when he is stressed.  Ashton took a deep breath and stood up, he walked slowly towards Craig and nervously put out his hand and placed it on his sergeant’s shoulder and softly pulled at it to turn Craig around to face him.

 “Craig…,” Luke whispered.

 Craig quickly turned around and faced Luke.  The young man looked at him and smiled.  Craig had tears running down his face and his bottom lip quivered adorably and Luke couldn’t help himself.  He tenderly brushed his lips against Craig’s salty lips and whispered.

 “I love you Craig Gilmore.”

 Craig melted; looking at Luke eased away the pain he felt inside. He let himself be held by Luke and he cried his frustration and anger away.  Feeling the warmth of Luke’s body against his made him feel safe and for once he trusted Luke’s intentions.

 Luke stood tightly holding his lover, he never wanted to let him go.  Each time he thought of having to give Craig up or losing him he gripped him tighter and Craig responded in holding Luke tighter.  Craig pulled away and looked straight into Luke’s big baby brown eyes.  Craig’s face was reddened and damp from the tears.  He looked at every inch of Luke’s face and slowly lifted his hand up and brushed his cheek with his palm.  Luke gulped, he had never had such a tender moment in his life, and his body tingled all over.

 “Sorry,” whispered Luke.

 “I’m the one that should be sorry not you,” replied Craig in a gruff whisper.

 “Why?  You haven’t done anything…” 

“I’m your sergeant.  You shouldn’t have to see me like this,” replied Craig.  He angrily wiped away the tears; he was embarrassed to let Luke see him weakened. 

“You are my sergeant, Craig yes, but you are also my boyfriend.  At work you are my superior but at home you’re my…lover.  I love you and nothing is going to change that.” Luke looked at him and spoke with such sincerity that Craig’s face crumpled and he began to cry again.  His head fell forward into Luke’s chest he tried to hide his emotions.

 Luke took hold of Craig’s face with both hands and lifted it up to his eye level. 

“I just wish you would love me back and allow me to be your boyfriend.  I want to support you Craig and if that means having you cry on my shoulder then so be it.  Just allow me to be an option when you need some support rather than a definite no.” Luke’s eyes began to glaze over with tears.  He could feel himself welling up inside as he spoke.  “Do you still love me Craig?” asked Luke nervously.

 Craig looked deep into Luke’s eyes and opened his mouth to speak when the door opened.

“You two OK?” interrupted Ben.

 Craig quickly wiped away the tears and swiftly walked towards the door past Ben.  “I must use the bathroom.”

 Ben winked at Luke and made a clicking sound with his mouth as he closed the door, he went to see if Craig was OK.  Luke stood furious in the bedroom.  He knew Ben had deliberately done that, he had probably been listening at the door.  Luke clenched his fists and wanted to run out and punch the guy, but he knew if he did Craig would never forgive him.  Tears of frustration ran down his face, as there was nothing he could do but watch Ben try and steal away Craig.

 Luke listened to Ben trying to get Craig to come out of the bathroom.  He sat on the bed and smiled to himself, Ben was as useless as he was at getting Craig to co-operate.

 “Craig please talk to me.  Are you OK?  Craig, please,” pleaded Ben.  He reeled off question after question in a whining pathetic voice making Luke hurt with laughter.  Craig was unlikely to co-operate when someone is talking to him like a child and Luke knew that, it made him feel better that Ben didn’t.

 “Right I am going downstairs Craig, if you need me shout OK?” Ben mumbled through the door.  Defeated that he couldn't get the man out of the loo.  Luke covered his mouth to stop himself laughing.  He couldn’t understand what was so funny but he just couldn’t stop himself.  Maybe it was that Luke had spotted a weakness in Ben; he couldn’t persuade Craig the way Luke could. 

“OK,” replied Craig. 

As footsteps descended the wooden stairs the last step creaked which obviously Craig knew as he slowly and quietly opened the bathroom door and stealthily walked back into the bedroom closing the door behind him. 

Luke looked up at him with a devious smile on his face.  Craig put his finger up to his mouth to signal Luke to be quiet.  Craig smiled at Luke as he tip-toed across to him.

 “He’s a pain in the arse,” joked Craig making Luke laugh.  Craig sat on the bed beside Luke and took a hold of his hand.

 “I do love you Luke.  I just dreamed of you and I getting together for so long that now it has happened I keep expecting something to go wrong,”  Craig sighed as he said it expecting an outburst from Luke.

 Luke smiled at Craig and leant forward and kissed the man he adored.  Things were fine for now, but Luke knew Ben wasn’t going to give Craig up without a fight.  But then again neither was Luke. 

 

Don't Leave Me - by Ashleigh  

 

**CHAPTER 20**

****

It was early evening.  The sun was just beginning to set and the sky was a beautiful array of pinks, reds and purples.  A light breeze whistled playfully through the tall trees at the bottom of the garden, giving the air just that slight chill.  Craig stood on the patio, with a hot mug of coffee clasped between his hands.  He looked up into the endless blanket of pinks and noted how wonderful it looked.  He could hear the birds tunefully singing and it was perfect. 

 

Things were so peaceful and calm for the first time in months that Craig felt totally relaxed and at ease.  The stress he had been under lately enhanced by the constant emotional torture he had had to face day in day out had worn him down and here all that drifted away.  It was like he was in a distant land far away from the hassle of work, the hassle of life.  The most important thing was that he was here with peace of heart that a few feet away was his true love and one thing Craig had never imagined was bringing Luke home to meet his family.  It saddened his heart that his father was not here to share his happiness.

 

Craig looked down at his coffee and smiled to himself.  This garden had been the scene for many happy memories.  As he glanced around the garden he smiled as if watching a comedy.  Images and memories trickled into his mind of the wonderful summer days he and his father used to spend out here together when he was a child.  Hours they spent out in the garden playing rugby and sometimes cricket, which wasn’t a particular favourite of Craig’s but his Dad enjoyed it.  A lump came to Craig’s throat as he felt sad those days were lost, the memories were there but his Dad wasn’t and he missed him.  Even though Craig knew his father loved and respected him he couldn’t rid the constant ache in the pit of his stomach that wanted so much to have seen him one last time, had the opportunity to say goodbye.  Craig stood daydreaming when he felt two arms wrap around his waist.

 

“Hello,” uttered a quiet voice.  “What you doing out here all by yourself?” joked Luke snuggling into Craig’s back for warmth. “Aren’t you cold?” shivered Luke.  His teeth were chattering from the cold air. 

 

“No, why is it cold?” replied Craig flatly.

 

“It’s freezing.  Anyway what are you doing out here?” Luke squeezed Craig’s waist.

 

“Just thinking.  Clearing my head,” replied Craig taking hold of Luke’s hands and ushering Luke forward so that Craig could stand behind him.  Craig wrapped his arms around the young man, shielding him from the cold.  It was easier to stand this way as Craig was quite a bit taller, it was more comfortable.

 

“Why is something upsetting you? What I meant was…I didn’t mean that you aren’t already upset…I…meant…is there something…,” Luke stammered and gave in with frustration.

 

Craig laughed “It’s OK.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke gathered himself.  His cheeks were slightly flushed from the cold and embarrassment.

 

“Nothing to talk about,” replied Craig sternly.

 

Luke looked up at him hurt.  “Do you want me to leave you alone?” Luke whispered softly.

 

Craig considered the words and for some reason they struck a nerve in his heart that terrified him.  A lump came to his throat.  “I never want you to leave me. I couldn’t bare that Luke,” he choked.

 

“Craig, I never meant…I only meant I’d go inside and leave you to your thoughts.” Luke turned to face Craig.  Luke looked up at his lover with those big brown eyes.  “I will never leave you.  I love you!” whispered Luke brushing Craig’s lips with his.

 

Craig held Luke close to him and for a while they stood holding one anther as nothing else in the world mattered.

 

“So what were you thinking of?” asked Luke pulling away from Craig.  He turned around and stood with his back against Craig’s chest looking out into the garden.  Luke pulled his sergeant’s strong arms around him.

 

“My dad,” he snorted a faint laugh as still thoughts if him were pleasant.

 

“Were they good thoughts?” questioned Luke nervously.

 

“Yes.  They always are Luke,” answered Craig.  “I was thinking about all the times we used to play rugby out here.  For an old chap he could certainly move you know.  Mum used to come out and shout at us for destroying the plants and messing up the grass, but he would always sweet talk her around and generally it would end up being a game where mum and Sophie took on Dad and me.” Craig looked so animated whilst talking about his father that Luke envied the bond they had.  Craig had never really spoken about his family and personal experiences were never mentioned.  So for Craig to discuss his childhood seemed fascinating.  For some reason it made Sergeant Gilmore more human, an emotional being.  “We used to sit out here most nights in the summer, especially in the school holidays.  It would generally end up in a play fight at the end of the garden with Sophie screaming for mum’s help.  We even…,” Craig started laughing but noticed Luke looking up at him with a smile on his face.

 

“What?” questioned Craig, quite self-conscious.

 

“You look so happy.  Go on tell me some more,” insisted Luke.

 

Craig felt self-conscious and a little embarrassed.  Although he and Luke were now an item it seemed awkward to tell him about his childhood, apart from anything it seemed to emphasise the age gap, which although not that big of a gap still worried Craig.  It was also a little embarrassing because, after all, Craig was still the young man’s sergeant and he didn’t want him thinking he had gone soft.

 

“Nothing much to say, just that we fooled around sometimes, as kids and their parents do,” Craig replied in a defensive tone.

 

“Not all kids and parents do that sort of thing,” Luke replied sadly.

 

“Sorry Luke, I didn’t mean to sound…,” Craig attempted to apologise for his thoughtlessness.

 

“It’s OK really,” replied Luke reassuringly.  “So tell me some more about what you did here,” Luke demanded eagerly.

 

“Nothing really, studied hard to get into the police force,” replied Craig blushing slightly as he felt awkward talking about the childish things he used to do with his family.  He believed Luke would find him ridiculous and less attractive.

 

 Luke thought for a second.  Realising that Craig was holding back he tried to reassure him. “It’s different now Craig,” stated Luke adamantly.

 

“What do you mean?” asked Craig, confused at the statement.

 

“We aren’t at the station now Craig, here you aren’t my sergeant.  When we are alone, at home we are equal and above all else we are a partnership.  I want you to trust me Gilmore understand?” laughed Luke.

 

Craig looked bemused, as if by some psychic power Luke seemed to have read his mind.  A strange feeling ran through his entire body, a feeling of contentment, a feeling of security in a relationship.  It was a feeling Craig hadn’t experienced for a long time and it felt fantastic. 

 

“I understand PC Ashton.”

 

Both men stood silent for a while, enjoying the blissful atmosphere.  Craig placed his head on Luke’s shoulder and Luke in turn leant his head on Craig’s head.  Craig smiled broadly as looking into the garden, replaying what Luke had just said to him in his mind. 

 

Craig took a deep breath.  “I miss him.” Craig waited nervously for a response.

 

“That’s understandable,” replied Luke gripping Craig’s hand.

 

“It’s just so hard to think that I will never see him again, or speak to him.  If I had thought more of others instead of myself I could have…should have come to see him before…,” Craig paused angry with himself.  His voice choked with angry unshed tears.

 

“You weren’t to know Craig, no one knew.  You cannot blame yourself for not knowing you father was going to…I’m sorry but you weren’t.” Luke turned to face his lover, as he was aware he was upset.  “Your father loved you Craig and without a doubt would have been extremely proud of you.  What parent wouldn’t be proud of a son like you.  I certainly hope David…sorry,” uttered Luke.

 

“It’s OK.  I know you have a son, we cannot deny that Luke.  It just feels strange being home and not having my dad stood here talking to me about the lads from the local pub or telling me that latest neighbourhood news.” Craig smiled slightly.

 

Luke looked at him and smiled, and turned to face the garden again.  “What do you think he would have thought to your new boyfriend?” Luke asked smiling nervously.

 

Craig let out a thunderous laugh.  “That is one thing Luke that always amused me with my dad.  He would have come outside and without my asking he would have told me what he thought of you.  ‘Son, he makes you happy that is the most important thing’”

 

Luke laughed at Craig imitating his father’s voice.  Craig continued.

“He seems a nice lad although he is a little nervous.  But Craig one thing I must say. He’s a bit young for you, I mean he seems as though he has only just come out of nappies and by the sounds of it has a child still in nappies.  I can’t interfere I know, just be careful with this one I have a feeling,”   Craig continued laughing.  Luke stood silent, hurt by what Craig had said.  Noting Luke’s expression Craig reassured him.  “Luke my dad never particularly liked any of my boyfriends.  There was always something wrong with them.  Sean was too old, and he was only two years older than me, Dad had a feeling about him too. He never approved of anyone.” Craig held Luke closer to him. 

 

Luke stood silent thinking hard about what Craig had said.  It wasn’t the fact that Craig’s Dad might not have liked him it was the fact there were others to compare him to.  A strange feeling shot through Luke’s body.  Taking a deep breath and swallowing harshly he proceeded to question Craig.

 

“How many did he disapprove of?”  Luke asked trying to appear subtle.

 

“All of them,” replied Craig.

 

“How many is that then?” furthered Luke dreading the answer.

 

Realising what Luke was attempting Craig answered vaguely. “Not many.”

 

“No come on how many?” questioned Luke.

 

“Why is it important?” replied Craig defensively.

 

“It’s not I am just curious,” laughed Luke trying to hide his fear.

 

“My parents only met my serious partners,” Craig replied hoping that would be enough.

 

“Why won’t you tell me?” questioned Luke angry and nervous at the same time. 

 

“OK.  My parents have met Sean and Ben.  Ben was my first boyfriend and basically my first love, we went out for about six years, before that ended.  Then I went out with someone at Hendon called Adam, we only went out for a few months.  He, like you, was afraid of what people might say about him being a gay copper. Then I met Sean, well you know about Sean.  Then Carl, which was a total disaster.  And that, Luke Ashton, brings us to the present where I am totally in love with you.”

 

Luke stood silent for a while pondering what he had just been told.  “I assumed there would have been more,” Luke stated flatly.

 

“Why?” questioned Craig shocked at Luke’s assumption.

 

“Well you’re a good looking bloke.  And you appear so open about your sexuality I just assumed…”

 

“You assumed what?  That because I am openly gay I must sleep around? That because I don’t hide who I am I must put it about,” replied Craig angrily.

 

Luke looked at Craig stunned.  “I never meant to offend you Craig.”

 

Craig moved away from Luke and stood to the side of him as if he was disgusted by what Luke had accused him of.  Craig stood arms folded staring into the garden, refusing to look in the direction of the young man.

 

“Craig…don’t be like this I never meant any harm.  You have to admit you are a catch.  In fact, you are totally gorgeous.  You make my knees tremble any way.  I just thought there would have been more fellas trying to get into your undies,” joked Luke.  He shyly looked across to Craig and noticed his sergeant was smiling and trying hard not to laugh.  Luke leant into him and placed his arms around his waist and hugged his lover. 

 

“I am not confident enough to go up to people and start chatting them up.  It took a lot for me to get over Ben.  I didn’t go out with anyone for quite a few years after that.  Trusting people has never been a strong point of mine.”

 

“You don’t say?” snorted Luke.

 

Luke turned to the patio door upon hearing light footsteps heading their way.  Luke smiled broadly when he saw Craig’s mother approaching.  Luke stood up straight and stepped back from hugging Craig so tightly.  Grace stood in between her son and his lover and linked arms with the both of them.  She pulled Craig down to her level and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.  She looked across to Luke and smiled and pulled him in and kissed his also on the cheek.  This small token of tenderness warmed Luke’s heart, he felt accepted by her.

 

“What are you two handsome young men doing out here?” questioned Grace kindly.  Luke noticed how soft and gentle she spoke, she had a very reassuring calm tone to her voice.

 

“Nothing mam.  Just talking about work,” replied Craig lying.  Luke looked up at him.

“Now Craig, when you blush sweetheart I know you are lying.  What were you really talking about or is it talk a mother doesn’t really need to know?” she asked devilishly towards Luke as she had managed to make her son blush puce.

 

“That’s one good thing about my son, Luke.  He gives the game away when he is lying.” Grace and Luke laughed as Craig tried to hide his blushing cheeks.

 

“I was asking Craig if his father would have approved of his new boyfriend,” Luke mumbled, realising that was the first time he had actually admitted to another person he and Craig were an item.

 

Grace looked at Craig and winked then turned to Luke giving him a very stern look.  “You certainly are not good enough for Craig, for starters you have a wife and child at home, responsibilities my lad.  You are far too young.  Why not bother someone more your own age?” Grace started smiling and Craig just creased with laughter.  Luke looked astonished and hurt. What is so funny? he thought to himself. 

 

Grace placed her hand on Luke’s cheek and smiled, “That’s what he would have said but what he would have meant was ‘don’t hurt my lad’ but Craig’s father cannot just say that he attempted to scare you off first.”

 

Luke smiled nervously, not quite understanding what was happening.  “I think you are wonderful, a lovely looking young man, and you make my son very happy.  But Craig’s father did not approve of him dating.”

 

Luke smiled more confidently.

 

“I told you, didn’t I?” stated Craig still laughing at Luke’s expression.

 

“Is it because you are gay he didn’t approve?” questioned Luke.

 

Craig shook his head.

 

“Oh no, he never approved of Craig’s girlfriend either,” chuckled Grace.

 

Craig immediately stopped laughing and looked across to a shocked Luke, who stood smiling devilishly at his lover.  “You had a girlfriend?”

 

Craig put his head in his hand and shook his head smiling. 

 

“You really had a girlfriend?” repeated Luke. 

 

Craig looked at his young lover and smiled.  “The one and only Sergeant Craig Gilmore, had a girlfriend?  This is front page news,” joked Luke.  “The lads at the station thought Gilmore had an allergy to women,” laughed Luke. 

 

Grace looked at her son sympathetically but could not resist laughing aloud.

 

“So come on then who was she?”   

 

Craig sat on the patio bench knowing Luke would never let this drop.  Luke sat beside him like a child ready to be told a story.  Grace smiled at the pair and walked inside to make a drink.  It was going to be a long night.


End file.
